10,000+

That’s how many notes I had in my phone last week, when I decided to hit the delete button and purge the pressure I had been building up on myself to do something with them. “Make them count.”

Almost all of them were prayer notes I had jotted down, though not a traditional prayer list format.

More like something would be on my heart and I’d type it out to God, and then sit still for a moment and let his Spirit flow through me in response,

and often He would flow so quickly, so freely, like a wave rolls onto a beach shore,

that I’d find myself jotting down His answers to me in real-time as they came, before the wave receded and I could forget what He had said.

Note upon note full of his goodness.

A document of our growing relationship for the past seven or eight years.

Like the notebook my husband and I used to pass back and forth when we were dating in high school.

God is so real. So relational. So personal.

So so good.

But over the years, as I’ve collected the notes – along with actual notebooks full of the same – I’ve noticed something else:

Part of that collecting didn’t feel good, and I didn’t know why. Until He told me this week, and He helped me to let our collection go.

What He whispered to my soul was something along the lines of this:

“It’s hard to embrace living forward, if you’re too weighed down with the looking-back.”

Not that there’s not value in the past.

There certainly is!

Memories give us both lessons and a bank of gratitude for his goodness to go to when we need faith for the future and present.

When we remember all He has brought us through, and how real our feelings and our problems were, but how much REALER and bigger our God was (and IS) – it helps us put current concerns into perspective.

But sometimes dwelling on the past TOO much, even in the ways He has spoken to us in the past, overfills our capacity and our reliance upon real-time Jesus. Not just the memory of Him, but the Him who is right here, right now, standing beside God and interceding for us, communicating with us through the Holy Spirit. Doing life with us!

The high-school season of my relationship with my husband was a sweet time.

There are many parts I’ll never forget.

Like the time he humored me and let us dress up as the king and queen of hearts for Halloween.

Or the time I got grounded from my car, but wanted to see him so badly that I rode my bicycle 7 miles out to his house. (I totally got in trouble for that, as my kids’ would absolutely be in trouble if they did the same, but at the time it felt worth it. 😉)

But as many of those beautiful memories as we have, if I spent more time reflecting on them than I did enjoying the current moment with my husband…

In the relationship we have NOW-

In this season of life

In this year, this season, this month, week, day…

I’d be missing out.

And dare I say- making something like an idol? Relishing an old image/old version of my husband more than loving him for who he currently is?

I loved high school Brett. The boy with tan skin and dark hair, and big brown eyes that made my stomach flutter.

But I love 35-year old Brett even more. The man with the marks on his hands, from years of working hard for our family. The man with touches of gray in his beard – “experience.” The man with a few lines by his eyes from decades of smiling and playing with our kids and being animated. When I look at my husband, I not only don’t care that he isn’t the version of himself that he was when we first fell in love- but I’m glad that he isn’t. I’m glad we have transformed together, aged together, enjoyed and gotten through so much life together. Nothing stays the same forever on this Earth. It wasn’t designed to.

And Jesus? Well He is my other lifelong love. The first that loved me, long before I even set my eyes upon Him. The one that laid His life down for me, before I was ever formed in my mother’s womb. Also the one who walked beside me – beside us as a couple, a family – through all life’s ups and downs. There is a rich history there. I cherish it.

But He’s also NOW.

He’s also the man that communicates with me on a daily basis, through the Holy Spirit.

The only one in the entire universe that I could never exhaust with my never-ending questions and needs for guidance, and love, and support.

The only one I can rely on to be there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and PAST “death do us part” (because He already died, but he rose again, and He says that starting now and for ever and always – the communication between us never has to be broken, ended or paused!)

My love for Jesus, similar to my love for my husband, has much less to do with any physical appearance than it does with the connection of our hearts and our souls.

I think sometimes imagining an image of Him can almost be like creating an idol- in that if we let our focus be too much on what He might look like, we miss the point- that’s it’s not about appearance, it’s about transcendence.

We are all spiritual beings, who have souls and live in bodies.

God came to us in human form, not so that we could only focus on his body but moreso that we could observe his soul- mind, will, and emotions. So we could see the struggles and temptations he went through, and yet see how he thought about them and handled them differently than anyone else in the world. And then so we would KNOW that we need, and gladly receive, the Holy Spirit that He said He was sending us- so we could have EVERYTHING He came to give us:

The Bible, a document of God’s love over all time, and of Jesus’s life and examples and loads of wisdom.

But also HIMSELF- His very Spirit, dwelling with our spirits- and enough to be that for each of us.

He gave His physical life once. And that is mind-blowing that someone would do that for us.

But I think what some of us miss, is that He gives His spiritual life to us, day in and day out.

24/7/365 and for eternity.

Isn’t that’s something incredible to think about?

I believe that continuing to remain in love with Him requires both remembering our history together and also living in the present- aware and appreciative of His presence.

And just like any relationship, the longer it goes on, for the passion to remain- the more important it is that our focus on the former doesn’t exceed the latter!

We can’t be more grateful for the past than we are in the present, or we will always be looking back!

And Jesus says that no matter where we are in this life – there’s always more to look forward to in the future! (Which extends beyond the end of this world.)

“But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness….Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland so my chosen people can be refreshed. I have made Israel for myself, and they will someday honor me before the whole world.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:18-21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it. Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I’ve warned you of them many times; sadly, I’m having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ’s Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. …All they can think of is their appetites. But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He’ll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:12-21‬ ‭MSG‬‬

These verses encourage me to look forward more than I look back!

And the passage from Philippians- I believe hidden there lies the answer as to why I needed to purge my excessive personal documents of the past.

Because much of what Jesus does for me, is working me through all the struggles of my flesh.

Much of my writing, and journaling is about my battles with circumstances, fleshy mindsets, and temptation. And then the Spirit’s response to me, about those things, which is what has gotten me through.

But if I’m too focused on the past tests and pressuring myself to go back to them and “make them count more” by collecting and sharing every single one in a book, as if it could guide anyone else…I’m miserable. Which is what was happening.

I was feeling like a failure because the enemy would get me back into works-mode again, telling me that if I really appreciated the way God saved me, then I would show it by passing it on- and helping to save others from similar messes.

But guess what?

Jesus took that weight right back off.

He reminded me of the Truth – that it is ALWAYS Him who saves! Not us.

Our testimonies and encouragement are important and they have a place. But they should flow and keep flowing from a real-time fullness, from relationship with Him. Like waves endlessly washing over and smoothing and refreshing the sand on the shore.

And though sometimes I feel that compiling a coherent book would make me feel like I “had it together” (fully understood what He has been and was doing in me…)

He reminds me that I don’t have to have it all together…

I can’t fully understand Him…

I may never see the full picture of what He was doing in me, through me, or in this world that had nothing to do with me individually…

But my peace doesn’t depend on my understanding. It depends on my dwelling and abiding in Him.

And my desire to help anyone else achieve inner peace, has nothing to do with my ability to help others understand either…

Peace is a person and His name is Jesus.

He’s beyond understanding.

He’s beyond grasping intellectually.

But He’s RIGHT HERE, ready to be grabbed ahold of!

Ready for us to walk in REAL-TIME relationship with Him.

And day by day, moment by moment, that’s the message I desire to spend my life sharing — demonstrating this reality with my children, enjoying it as a couple with my husband, and passing along to anyone else who will listen.

The Holy Spirit helps us experience the GREAT STUFF!

And we don’t have to be afraid of running out of great moments, or milestones, because He never runs out! His rivers never run dry!

There’s ALWAYS more, where that came from.

What a pressure-release it is to purge the focus on the past, to live in the present, and to look forward to the future,

life with Him-

an always unfolding, forever unending love story!

Last week, we were blessed with a fifty-four degree day, in between two snowstorms. I was super excited for some fresh air, but didn’t so much think about the repercussions of a foot of snow melting in just a few hours. Our basement {which houses both my office and a bedroom} flooded, and all my toiling to use towels and our carpet cleaner to suction up the water just couldn’t keep up with it. It finally stopped, but even with a fan the water still hadn’t dried up, so yesterday we had to rip up the carpet and underlay and get down to the bare floor.

As I was pulling up tack strips, it occurred to me — that our souls can get that way too sometimes, can’t they?

Flooded.

We can go from having nothing going on, to having too much going on- all at once. So quickly we don’t have the capacity to gracefully handle it.

Sometimes we do pretty well at handling things, a bit at a time, but when it all comes pouring in unexpectedly, we can get flooded and overwhelmed. And our emotions can get… messy.

And maybe it’s tempting to just shut the door to the basement and pretend that the flood isn’t there…deny those overwhelmed emotions and just keep going on, pretending as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

But if we did that with our basement, we’d end up with mold and more damage. More of a mess to be cleaned up later.

And if we do that with our souls, God showed me it’s the same.

And yet, even then, we are not too much of a mess for Him to clean up.

But we have to be willing to open the door to Him.

Let Him in. Let Him go to work in us.

Bit by bit, we have to cooperate with Him,

resisting the urge to ignore the problems or deny them, or keep them behind closed doors, with “towels” thrown over them but the issue not really taken care of.

When God comes in, and it’s just a little water…truly just a small thing that is overwhelming us, He can help us “suck it up.”

I don’t know about anyone else, but I NEED His help, even in the little things, because I’m not good at “sucking it up” on my own.

Even tiny things can make me feel less than peaceful, and rob me of my joy.

But with HIS help, I can be restored quickly when those little things arise.

He helps me dry up the tears and the fears and the would-be damage of failures and misunderstandings and offenses and concerns.

But sometimes, it’s not just a little bit of water that’s coming in. Sometimes it’s a flood of emotions.

Like the five miscarriages we went through.

Or losing my dad.

Or like a lot of hard things I have seen friends and loved ones go through.

And sometimes no amount of “sucking it up” is sufficient. Even when we turn to Him.

Not that he COULDN’T help us in that way, but that sometimes He helps us through those floods in other ways, and uses them even, for our good.

(Even though He doesn’t cause those bad things or wish for them to happen. And even though they are NOT at all good.)

When those things happen, the process He often takes us through very much resembles the process we are going through with our basement right now:

He has to help us stop everything for a moment, as much as possible, and deal with the mess.

Take out all the “stuff” that’s on top of the carpet, on top of the foundation, so that we can get to the root of the problem.

Check our foundation itself, (our relationship with Him), for gaps.

Let Him fill in any cracks there.

In our heart and soul.

Then- and only then, once the foundation of our identity in Him has been restored, He wants to help us rebuild upon the Rock (Jesus). He wants to restore our lives and our other relationships.

When the floodwaters rise, we must resist with everything in us the temptation to tend to the upper levels of our lives, and neglect the base. (Our relationship with Him.)

The enemy might tell us that it’s not important, or that we don’t have time to attend to it when our two-story lives are crashing down.

He might also tell us that it’s God’s fault that these things are happening to us to begin with. That He caused them, or could have stopped them but didn’t. Satan wants us to believe that God doesn’t love us or doesn’t have our backs. But it’s simply not true.

The Truth is that Satan is the father of all lies. (John 8:44).

The Truth is that God loves us so much that he gave His one and only Son- so whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).

Jesus himself told us in John 16 (it’s necessary to read the whole chapter but this is a part of that)— is “There is so much more I want to tell you, but you can’t bear it now. When the Spirit of truth (the Holy Spirit) comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. He will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me. All that belongs to the Father is mine; this is why I said, ‘The Spirit will tell you whatever he receives from me.’”
‭‭John‬ ‭16:12-15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The whole Bible is full of the Truth.

That God loves us.

That Jesus laid down His life for us.

That the Holy Spirit longs to fill us and comfort us and help us get through ALL the floods, and help us to feel the presence of Jesus deeply inside us, so that we never believe the enemy’s lies that we are broken, flooded, damaged goods, or all alone.

I never wanted to go through some of the floods I went through. God didn’t want that for me either. Though He did warn me that in this world, things like that happen:

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
‭‭John‬ ‭16:33‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Take heart.

It’s not a flippant, empty comfort.

Not a pat-on-the back “It’s all small stuff, don’t sweat it” line of bull crap.

It’s an instruction to the place of comfort…

some of the last words of Jesus before He went to the cross

Before He willingly took on the pains and punishments of this world so that He could understand instead of being a God who can’t relate to us,

and so that He could open up the door to the Father once again that Adam’s sin (and everyone’s since) had kept locked…

So that He could send the Holy Spirit, to GIVE us HIS heart and courage and comfort and love, when we are so weak that we cannot even “take heart” on our own.

Dwelling on the depth of this love of His for us, being sucked in by that- it’s the only way to suck the floodwaters off of our souls, so that we can breathe again… and be restored…and build upon our eternal lives, our SOUL lives, so that we will still be standing (in our new bodies, in the new Heaven and Earth) even when this life is over.

And looking back I can thank God for the floods even, because without them, I’d have never pulled up the “carpet” of all the cares and “callings” and blessings of this world, to discover the richness and firmness of His foundation.

Jesus said “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:24-27‬ ‭NLT‬‬

And the most beautifully undeserved blessing, for me, is that even when I built upon sand, and even when life felt like it collapsed…he gathered all my pieces, put me back together, put His Word in my heart, and is helping me build my eternal life on Him.

As long as you’re alive, it’s never too late to start building what matters most- your ETERNAL LIFE- on the foundation of Jesus, with Him.

What the enemy meant to drown us with, to flood us with, God can use even that to give us a fresh start.



I was laying on my bed today, resting in the warm glow of the sun that was spilling through my bedroom window.

As my eyes came to rest on this picture I have hanging on my wall, they landed on the last word of the verse and just settled there.

“A future…”

Such a loaded word.

One I think of quite often,

wondering what our future will look like.

The future of this world, not even just in the distant future but in the next few years.

The future of our family. How many generations will I get to see? What will that look like, feel like?

But I don’t usually think on that for too long.

Today has enough of its own concerns, the good Word reminds me.

Still though,

there’s this verse,

in all its ambiguity…

“For I know the plans I have for you,

declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”

This same promise is to all who believe in Him and will follow after Him,

walking into the plans He has for us.

I think what trips us up though,

is we think of that “walking” only in the flesh,

and we focus on our feelings instead of the Spirit.

And feelings- whether good or bad, are so enveloping that when we are wrapped up in them, it’s as if there’s nothing beyond them.

It’s as if they’ll last forever.

But with time, we discover that this simply isn’t true. (Which is why relationships and our lives must be rooted deeper than just feelings. We must anchor our souls to faith instead…)

But as I was resting in this moment,

I had some thoughts…

You know that feeling when you’re young

and you’re graduating?

And you have your whole future ahead of you?

The hope that comes with that?

Or when you’re standing at the altar,

or holding hands on your honeymoon,

and planning for the life you dream of living together?

Or when you’re holding a tiny newborn,

and you look into their face and wonder what they’ll grow into, and you find that suddenly all your hopes and dreams are now BEYOND you, you long for this little one to be blessed in life far more than you even wanted it for your own self?

So good.

But do you know the feeling when (think) you’ve “blown” the pretty plans you had for your future?

Or when life didn’t go the way you thought it would?

Or when you’re just scraping by and beginning to run out of hope, that you’ll ever get out of the paycheck to paycheck cycle?

Or when the pain of infertility and miscarriages has rendered you virtually unable to hope for a baby again?

Or the feeling when you’ve lost a loved one, and you think to yourself – whatever wonderful things your future may hold, it could just never be the same amount of wonderful as it would have been if they were still here…?

Or maybe the one who stood at that altar with you, dreaming and vowing, didn’t keep their promises, or you didn’t keep yours. And now the picture that you had painted together of what you thought the future would look like has been damaged?

Or maybe you’re ill,

Or in the final years of a long life,

Or maybe- you’re thinking of a young life that was gone too soon…

And you wonder-

What about you?

What about them?

Where is the hope, God?

Where’s the future?

When the nest is empty,

When you can no longer work the job that fulfilled you,

When the casket has been closed

the dirt piled on top,

the grass grown over it as time has passed

like nothing ever happened to it at all.

And the world marches on as if you were never even in it?

What then?

Where’s the promise?

Where are the good plans, when it not only doesn’t feel good but it ISN’T?

When nothing in the whole world could put your whole world together again? 💔

Well those are exactly the times we find that we need something {Someone} OUT of this world! ❤️

We need a Savior that can heal it all.

Broken hearts.

Broken bodies.

Dead dreams.

Death itself.

We need a Savior that can give us something BEYOND this life. We all long for that, deep down.

We were made for a place where everything is perfect.

No death.

No pain.

No destruction.

No deception.

No imperfection.

No doubt. No fear. Just perfect love.

Our soul’s longing for that didn’t change,

when the world did after the first sin.

What changed is that what we believed and hoped for- what we knew was waiting for us- turned into a wish instead.

Adam’s wish- and Eve’s-

“I wish I didn’t do that.

I wish I could go back.”

When we make a mistake,

mess up our “perfect”,

we sound like that too, don’t we?

Or even when it’s not about a mistake-

we wish we could go back.

To when life was simpler.

Love was newer.

Kids were younger.

Hair hadn’t gotten grayer,

or skin saggier.

The longer time marches forward,

the more it would make sense for us to feel

hope-less…

And we often do…

UNLESS…

Unless we know that it’s not the end.

That this life isn’t all there is.

It’s just a warm-up.

An audition.

With only ONE thing to get right…

Only one qualifier that will separate those who will dwell in the literal Heaven and perfection of His Presence for eternity, ❤️

From those who will refuse the present of His offer, and dwell forever in the hell of being away from Him, and the torment (among other torments) of a soul that still longs for perfection and heaven but will never get to arrive in it. 💔

And this is it –

“Will you believe in Jesus?”

“Will you follow Him?”

“Will you follow the one- who rose up out of the grave?”

“Will you reach up, in praise, and ask Him to help you out of the graves –

of guilt,

grief,

grinding,

that are burying you before you’re even dead?”

“Will you believe that He’s got something more for you? Even if you can’t see it? Hope and a future BEYOND your time in this world, but which you can experience some feelings of, starting now- at the very moment you decide to put your hope in HIM, and not your finances or circumstances, or any of this world’s statuses…”

What if I told you that His plans, were to give you a seed…

A seed that would grow inside you

and transform you from within?

A magical seed that may or may not change your world- this world that you’re currently in…but would most certainly change YOU and your perspective of the world…the universe…eternity.

(But likely, certainly even, a changed you would in fact change some part of your world- like a tree changes the landscape it is in. Providing shade from the heat. Providing fruit for the hungry. Without even trying.)

That’s exactly what He does.

His “seed” of hope doesn’t have to look big to you, for you to take it.

A mustard seed of faith, is all we need after all.

And you know what?

I used to even struggle with that.

Because I thought it had to “muster” up the mustard seed myself.

But I didn’t.

All I had to do was ask Him!

All I had to do was say to Him, “I believe, I want to believe, but help me with my unbelief!” (There’s a reason why He gave us an example of faith like that in the Bible.)

So today –

If you feel hopeless…

Or if you find yourself hoping less, as time goes by,

I pray this helps you feel hopeFULL once again.

It’s not over,

Not truly over-

Until Jesus comes back.

And then- if we have chosen Him-

and held onto Him, even when life is hard-

we will never, ever have to experience the feelings of hopelessness or emptiness again!

What a beautiful promise to dwell in!



In God’s presence are peace, joy, feelings of freedom and love. ALL the goodness.

The other day I wasn’t feeling peaceful, I was feeling anxious.

I wasn’t feeling joy, I was feeling “meh”.

I wasn’t feeling free, I was feeling trapped in circumstance.

I wasn’t loving and being content with life, I was lusting after some things of this world for a moment.

It didn’t take me long to realize I was headed in the wrong direction. Anxiety isn’t my norm anymore, and so whenever I feel it I know I’m getting off track and out of the awareness of His presence.

And when that happens, sometimes I’ll sing a little song to help me enter back in. The one in the photo is one of my faves:

🎵 I will enter your house with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter your courts with praise…I will say ‘This is the day that the Lord has made!’ I will rejoice for you have made me glad! 🎵

As I ended, He spoke to me.

That inner, gentle voice.

The one that definitely isn’t my own because it often catches me by surprise,

in the way that it’s bluntly honest-

but not rude.

Not critical,

like I can be of myself sometimes.

But also not coddling,

like a friend who so much doesn’t want to offend you that they can’t be relied upon to be honest with you.

“The reason you feel out of my presence (and lacking peace and joy) sometimes, is because you’re entering OUT of my presence, unintentionally, with thanks-withholding, and focusing on your problems.

It’s not a punishment, when you can’t feel me- it’s not like I’ve closed the door to you.

Rather, by not choosing to open your door to me, and enter in to my presence through thanksgiving and praise, you have effectively walked out of my presence by your own choice of what you’re focusing on.

The good news is, as quick as you realize it, you can turn right back around and come back towards me! My door is always open! I’m always ready to provide warm hospitality to you, and share of my wonderful fruits you enjoy so much- the love, joy, peace, all the good stuff!”

And He did, true to His Word.

As soon as I adjusted that attitude,

took a look at what I was looking at

(which, in that particular moment, had been drooling at pictures of beaches and mountains, and dreaming of a vacation again) and turned my heart and mind back into Him…

As soon as I stopped grumbling about the snow and the cold and how I was “stuck” inside, and started reflecting on my gratitude for a warm house, the beautiful white fluff for a view, and the ability to “peace out” (in HIM) anytime I needed- peace indeed came flooding back in!

He’s simply the BEST!

And part of what makes Him that is that He is ALWAYS perfectly loving, while simultaneously being perfectly honest.

One without the other,

Love without honesty,

Or hard honesty, without love-

can be a mess, and hard to handle.

But together, they make for the best of relationships!

This post I wrote popped up in my “On This Day” memories from four years ago. It was the beginning of my learning to be still with God, which was simultaneously peaceful, hopeful, and unsettling (in the worldly ways) and scary. But He has been SO faithful! We have gone through some stuff since then, both good and bad. Great! And terrible. But He has never once left my side, through any of the “even ifs”. Today I wanted to share this, to help someone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morning by morning, in my quiet time, I’m becoming more aware of my own rhythms. Physical. Mental. Emotional. Spiritual. Some people are born with this self-awareness. I’m pretty sure I was born hustling, so I’ve never taken the time to figure out these patterns to tell you the truth.

God has called me strongly in this season to be still. To take time to sit in his presence and allow my heart to be transformed. For so long I’ve been avoiding it, if I’m honest. My heart said things like “I’m busy doing the other things you’ve asked me to do.” “Ain’t nobody got time just to sit!” “I’ll give you five minutes and then I’ve got to get to work.”

But five minutes won’t cut it. Not when your soul needs as much work as mine.

That would be like me taking the pork chops I am cooking for dinner out of the oven after five minutes because “we need to eat NOW.” It doesn’t work that way. The meat needs longer to transform into something safe to consume.

And I’m coming to realize I need longer than five minutes to “bake” in God’s word before I’m ready to nourish anyone around me either. Otherwise my best intentions come up short, at best, and disastrous at worst.

Just because I understand this about myself now, that doesn’t make it always easy to sit. To yield my own ambitions for the day and be still.

And since I’m very new to this thing, I find my anxiousness comes in spurts. I’ll be relaxed for a few days, and then back-from-vacation-and-NEED-to-hustle mode sets back in.

The last few days I’ve been very relaxed. I sit with God for a few hours in the morning, reading, meditating, writing. I work until 3, and then I turn it off. Give my focus to my family. And it’s been filling me up.

This morning though, as I was reading, the old voice of worry tried to interrupt.

“You know, this isn’t very productive.”

“Are you sure you’re being still? It looks a bit like lazy.”

“What if you heard wrong?”

What if. That’s the big question, isn’t it?

The crippling question?

The one that keeps us from taking leaps.

The one that encourages us to hide in safe places. Where there’s “no risk” (but really there IS a risk, in the form of no reward)…

You guys if I actually wrote down all the thoughts and worries that pop into my head, on paper, I’d probably laugh at my own ridiculousness.

And this morning the conversation with the little demon on my shoulder sounded a lot like this…(a creepy twisted version of “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie”—one of the books I used to love to read to my kids.)

“If you don’t get busy soon, you’re going to end up not hitting your goals this month.

If you don’t hit your goals this month, next month you won’t be able to pay your bills.

If you get behind on your bills, it’s going to snowball and you aren’t going to have a house soon. (Remember, you don’t own it, so the bank is there. Breathing down your neck.)

If you don’t have a house…”

And at this point, I realized what was happening and flicked the stupid little red-guy off my shoulder and away from my ear.

At this point I exercised something I learned last year. One good thing I picked up after pregnancy loss number 5.

One thing that battles the what-if monster like no other:

“Even if.”

EVEN IF.

And I said to myself. So what if we lose the house (first of all it’s ridiculous that I’m even thinking this. We aren’t even late on our bills!) But EVEN IF the worst happens- we will be ok.
We could get an apartment. We could live in a camper. Quite honestly I’d LOVE to live in a camper. We’ve thought of it before. Maybe it’s a secret longing for simplicity in me. Maybe it’s wanderlust and the romantic idea of traveling the world and having flexibility to pick up and go wherever we want to go on a whim. When our kids graduate, we’d love to live in a camper. So what am I so worried about? EVEN if I fail, we will be f.i.n.e.

And this newly started conversation with the angel on my other shoulder got my imagination and memory spinning in a positive way.

This week, spending more time with my husband…more REAL, quality, not-just-sitting-beside-him-and-engrossed-in-my-phone-while-he-watches-tv time…I’ve found myself feeling that old, nostalgic, 19-year-old, newly-married L.O.V.E. for him. The silly, sweet, want to cuddle…the YOU, not my work, are my escape love.

And pondering on this, I realized, thirteen years ago we stood in front of a church and said “we are in this thing called life TOGETHER, no matter what” (EVEN IF).

From there my mind connected this to my relationship with Christ. You see, I’ve always looked at Christ in the father-sense. Skipping over the parts about Christ being the bridegroom because frankly that just felt weird. You can’t be romantic with God.

But thirteen years into marriage (16 together), I understand now that romance and the physical part of marriage is just a small part of what it means to be a devoted couple. The biggest part is trust.

The biggest part is knowing that this person is there with you no matter what. Even if.

So as I sit here anxious because God has asked me to stop hustling in this season, and I’ve mistaken my hustle for what has helped me succeed at my work, God reminds me of what I already know. It’s been his blessing, not any special talent of mine, all along. His provision, not my proving.

And as I sit here and am reminded that God is my other groom, I breathe a little more slowly. My heart stops racing and returns to my default-normal, not my learned-rush. And I know that even if the worst DOES happen, I will not be lost forever. God is there. He comforts. He holds. He soothes. He redeems. He brings beauty from the ashes.

And when I ask him “What if I slow down and my income drops substantially and we can no longer afford our home or food?”

He reminds me how he cares for the birds. And the flowers. In such intricate detail. And if he cares for them how much more does he care for me?

He reminds me that BOTH of my grooms made a promise to me. One on our wedding day. And one- before I was even born. And the promise was this: “From this day forward, no matter what, you never have to go it alone”

And when I look at it like that, the even-it’s have no power over me. 💜

https://www.facebook.com/groups/ofgraceandgratitude

“This feels kinda pointless,” I said to my husband, as we trudged out together to shovel the driveway just now. “The snow isn’t stopping anytime soon. We are just going to have to shovel again in the morning.”

“Yep,” he said. “But if we wait, it’ll be twice as deep by then.”

Touché. He had me there.

As we shoveled, my thoughts reeled like they always do. But thankfully in a good direction.

“It feels like this a lot in ministry, God,” I confided.

Holy Spirit calls upon his family to suit up in Him, grab their shovels, and go out to shovel snow and coldness off people’s hearts. {Starting with our own, by getting in the Word and letting the warmth of His love melt it off us.}

Unbury them from the things that look beautiful, but are treacherous.

Dig them out from under all the hurts and offenses and failures and disappointments and lies of the enemy that accumulate on them.

He could just do it on His own, you know. He has the spiritual snow plow of snow plows. All the saltiness and light and warmth in this Earth came from Him.

But a friend once preached a sermon called “God’s not a snowplow parent.”

And it’s true. He doesn’t often go before us, like many of us do as parents, and prevent things from happening to His children.

We may wish He did.

We may not understand when He doesn’t.

But some of the very things that we go through-

things that He didn’t cause because He is only good-

He USES them, for our good.

He uses them to strengthen us,

build stamina,

cultivate courage,

instill patience and perseverance,

develop humility and empathy…

and so much more.

God isn’t a snowplow parent, but He does send out his children with snow shovels. And He asks us to help (in His power), dig each other out from time to time.

He doesn’t just leave the 99 to save the 1, you see…I believe He actually calls to all of the 99 who will follow after Him, to be a part of the search party! It’s just some of us won’t go and so we may feel like we are “left” while He pursues someone else. We may become envious of someone else’s miracle. But that wouldn’t happen if we were working with Him, praying on behalf of them for a miracle. When we do that- their wins feel like our wins too!

God never said, “Wait here and just be cozy, while I go rescue the lost one.”

No- He wants us to ask to be SENT!

He wants us to be like Jesus and go after those who are falling away.

We are to reach out to not only the lost,

but the saved who have gone off-roading again, lured away by the wolf.

We are to stay together in fellowship, so that we KNOW when someone is missing.

And we aren’t supposed to say “Eh, just leave it that way for a bit. As soon as we shovel, the snow is gonna come right back down and undo our work anyway.”

No. As soon as we feel the first flurry of snow come at us, we should go throw down the salt. Ice-formation prevention.

As soon as we sense any accumulation of heaviness, we should ask a Spirit-filled friend to pray for us. Even pastors need help. There’s no shame! We are ALL human. And we all get heaviness on us from time to time.

And as soon as we see someone else “snowed in”, we are to go to them. Ask if we can help dig them out. {Freedom prayer.}

And even before that- intercede for them! Ask the Holy Spirit inside us, to go ahead of us and prepare their spirit, to be receptive and accepting of the help.

Winter comes every year in Indiana where I live.

Snow comes multiple times a season, usually.

If we just let it keep accumulating,

eventually it may melt –

when Spring comes, or we get a warm day.

But if the Winter is long

and we refuse to shovel,

we may be stuck where we are at for awhile.

In our spirits,

sometimes we let stuff accumulate.

Sometimes we have tried so much to fight lies, or throw off heaviness,

just for the “snow to fall again”

and leave us re-buried.

And so we may feel like “What’s the point?”

We hope eventually it’ll melt away.

We believe it probably will one day.

But in the meantime…

the decision not to shovel leaves us stuck.

Heavy.

Frozen.

Even being that way a short time takes its toll.

And so today – if that’s you-

I encourage you to dig.

Get your Bible out and dig into Truth which tosses off the lies, like a snow shovel scoops up the wet, heavy snow, and throws it out of our path.

And when you can’t dig-

When it’s accumulated so much that simply thinking about it makes you feel exhausted and ready to give up- call upon a believing friend.

Everything is easier together.

Sometimes the heavy not only becomes more “handle-able”, the company in the shoveling may even make the process enjoyable!

And those believers who are currently already shoveled-out (I say currently because none of us know when we will get snowed on again, and need someone else’s help. Humility isn’t determining to always be the helper. Humility is more knowing that we have had to be helped often- and so we desire for God to use us to help others, because we know how amazing it is when He sends someone in our hour of need)—

Those believers not currently buried, let us not just be content in our own cozy homes. Let us, as much as we are able, look for others who are buried so that we may be the hands and feet God uses to set them free.

And again-

It’s all Him.

He COULD do it alone.

(Just like my hubby could have shoveled our driveway all on his own.)

He just prefers doing it together.

Because He loves doing everything with us.

And He loves loving on others, together with us.

Meditate on that for a moment.

What a privilege!

Have you ever caught yourself smiling a genuine smile, and had it really stop you in your tracks?

Have you ever surprised yourself with a laugh?

I have.

It’s miraculous,

getting to know your REAL self again…

or maybe for the first time ever,

when God removes

depression,

anxiety,

grime,

and even glitter, pride, proving,

and things that shouldn’t have been on your priority list

off of you.

Over the past year, I’ve repeatedly found myself in random places, experiencing the same hard-to-put-into-words, doesn’t-make-sense feeling:

an unexpected sense of joy, “on the job”-

Feeling like I’m being filled,

even when I’m there to serve.

A feeling of being at home,

in places that aren’t my home.

A feeling of instant belonging,

in places where I would have felt

that I didn’t belong before:

at church,

at family and friends’ houses,

at our homeschool co-op

but also

at the chiropractor’s office,

at the gym,

at the veterinary clinic my friend owns

that I do social media work for

even at the grocery store

or in the school pick-up line, to get my niece, when my own kids don’t even go there anymore,

or at the small business that my mom and I clean at once a week

Home, home,

it all feels like extensions of my own home.

Today it happened again,

and I wanted to understand

what this wonderful feeling was

that has been so frequently washing over me-

So I asked Him.

“Please explain it to me, Jesus…

How is it that I am feeling so “at home” everywhere that I go?”

And He told me.

“It’s because your Home {Me, My Holy Spirit} has been going with you, everywhere you go!”

❤️❤️❤️

WOW.

That’s incredible.

Such an incredible thing to wrap your brain around.

Too big to grasp, really.

Grace that OVERFLOWS its own space.

Floods the heart and simply spills out, wherever it goes.

Not me, but the Spirit in me!

Making me feel the most wonderful hospitality, wherever we go.

〰️〰️〰️

Have you looked and looked for somewhere you can belong?

Do you long for a group of people,

or even just ONE person,

who “just gets you”,

just accepts you right where you’re at

but also believes in you enough to see the “more” that’s there too-

and can show it to you-

because maybe you don’t (see it)?

I have.

I thought that I had found it,

in the sisterhood of direct sales,

and I thought that I would lose it…

when He called me beyond that.

And I didn’t understand,

why He’d lead me to that place

and then out of it…

But now I do.

He took me from feeling rejected to accepted

He took me from seeking approval

to seeking to create a place of hospitality, where people could come to experience “approved”

And now He is taking it a step further,

telling me that I don’t need the crutch

of a thing- a certain opportunity, besides Him,

as a common-ground anymore

He’s telling me that I get to invite people in-

to an even better opportunity,

a sisterhood (and brotherhood)

that secludes no one-

it’s for the young, the old,

the gifted in not just sales-

but WHATEVER it is

that God has gifted them to be able to do,

the ones in a season

where they feel like they’re “rocking it”, 🎸

and the ones in a season

where they feel like a “rock” 🪨

has fallen on them!

HE is in me,

HE is my Home,

and He’s showing me

that hospitality goes way beyond

inviting people into our home-

for a pause from busy life-

to catch up-

which I also love.

We experience a larger-than-{this}-life

sense of receiving hospitality,

when we invite Him into our hearts,

not just as a guest,

but make Him the home-Owner of us,

make our life HIS,

Give HIM the run-of-the-house…

And I didn’t understand it,

until He just showed it to me this way-

but now that I’ve done that-

I FEEL at home wherever I am at,

because HE is wherever I am at,

providing those warm feelings

of at-home-ness.

It’s not anything magical, necessarily,

about the places I’ve been going.

(Though there are wonderful people there too, and the Spirit helps me see them the way He does, which is a joy!)

It’s not anything special about me, even,

any “glow” that can ever be seen in me

is not me.

I am simply a house,

who has emptied herself of some other things, so that He could make Himself at home in her.

And HE is the one,

who turns on the lights.

He IS The Light!

He decorates my mind with new thoughts,

He festoons my life with the most wonderful of rewards (Himself.)

〰️〰️〰️

When I used to be a bag girl, they often shared this verse.

“Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!”- Proverbs 31:31

And they gave us the best they could, I think.

I gave my girls who were on my team the very best I could give.

But God?

He took me out of that place-

BEYOND my wildest dreams-

to show me that even those were

“Selling ourselves short.”

The best the world could give me

was everything I deserved-

whatever I worked for

and maybe a little bit more.

A taste of grace.

The best the world could give me

was praises directed at me.

But God wanted to give me something INFINITELY BETTER!

He wanted me to see that

what He gives me is

everything I D.O.N.’T deserve!

Whether I work at it too, or not,

I could never deserve the gifts I’ve received from above!

He wanted to show me that it’s ALL grace,

this life He’s given us.

It’s ALL a gift!

It’s all a job, perhaps, but it’s also all a JOY!

He wanted to give me the gift of that

beyond-the-world perspective!

He wanted to teach me-

that wayyyy better than receiving any praises-

is the gift of the opportunity

to come into His Presence

and praise HIM!

Because when we do-

we aren’t just sporadically filled-

when we have performed well and earned praises,

and we aren’t reliant upon extra “tastes of grace”- which are celebrations beyond what we deserve, {usually given to get us to perform}.

We are OVERFILLED!

He, who is at Home in us,

SPILLS His Joy out,

into our hearts!

And even though our praises of Him

weren’t for us,

we get to FEEL it!

Since He abides in us!

It’s so so so far beyond what I could have ever imagined experiencing!

Not just at home in a group,

Home {Him} ❤️, in us,

spilling out into whatever

groups we get to be a part of!

Go beyond the magical.

If you’ve already got it good (in the world)

know there is BETTER.

His plans for you aren’t just great-

they’re BEYOND all you could ask or imagine!

MIRACULOUS is what you want!

Trust me- HE is what you want!

I’ve had this “follow your heart” picture by my coffee maker since we moved into our house over seven years ago.

Every single day almost, it has toppled onto the floor. You can’t tell, but the backside of it is cracked.

I’ve decided it’s a lie that God wanted me to see was broken.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

Jesus, the Great Physician, lists the symptoms of this disease: “out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander” (Matthew 15:19).

We can’t trust our fickle hearts.

They’re simply not reliable enough to lead us.

So, where should we get our direction? Proverbs 3:5-7 tells us:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and HE will make straight your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.”

I put a new sign by my coffee maker this week, and it’s a much better guide.

No more following our hearts around here, which are passionate one moment and needing to be pulled out of the pits the next.

No, God he’s consistently worthy of following.

With HIM in the lead, all things are possible.

Forgiving, when we want to hold grudges.

Trying something new, when we’d rather stay in our comfortable bubbles.

Doing what He says to do-

when our hearts are on board,

and finding the joy that FOLLOWS obedience, when our hearts DIDN’T feel like it but we listened anyway…

ALL things are possible-

the hard, more bearable

and the wonderful, even more pleasant

with God,

who shares his heart and his strength with us.

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”- Matthew 19:23-26 NIV

We don’t need to set our hearts upon

better dreams to follow,

we simply need to admit that our hearts,

in themselves, are unreliable and sinful-

and we need Someone who is

ALWAYS reliable, to lead us,

and to save us-

sometimes, often

even from ourselves.

“I need an encouraging Word today, Jesus,” I whispered. “I don’t know why, but my soul feels less than hope-full.”

Not more than a few moments later, I received His reply from the Spirit inside of me, FILLING me as promptly as light comes forth from a glow stick when something breaks the separation between the inner core and the outer chamber- mixing the two and creating a magical glow!

“The Best is yet to come!”

“Wow! That’s a great word! Tell me more!”

In my mind, I think I was wanting to know more bits and pieces of my future.

So much of God’s goodness we have already seen: the birth of our babies! And nieces and nephews too!

My rebirth, my husband’s rebirth.

Our family serving the Lord together.

Looking back on life, so many wonderful moments happened, so quickly…

TOO quickly…

while our eyes were anxiously fixed

upon the future.

Childhood and growing up.

Getting married.

Starting our family.

Together-times with our extended families.

Meeting new people, everywhere we were.

Occasional trips to beautiful places.

Daily being awakened on this planet,

looking for a purpose

in a plan or in a project,

totally unaware

that His purpose for us was already unfolding, and had much less to do with what we do than whose we are!

And life since He has SHOWN us whose we are, has been so much better overall.

It’s a JOY following Jesus and having a relationship with Him.

It’s an indescribable JOY watching your loved ones love Him. It’s even better than watching your husband and children enjoying their time together.

Today, the Spirit said to me “No matter how much goodness you have seen, you haven’t seen anything yet because the Best (Jesus) is yet to come!”

Oh to imagine what it will be like when we meet Him face to face!!

In this day and age, when we often meet people online, it shouldn’t be hard for anyone to imagine having an actual, real relationship with someone they have never met face-to-face before.

But when I share about my relationship with Jesus, and how it’s not just religion, many don’t understand. Sometimes even other Christians. So this is how I try to explain it…

When I was a direct sales leader, there were many girls I enjoyed friendships with for years, before ever meeting them in person.

It didn’t make those relationships any less real, but the joy whenever we got to actually connect face-to-face was so much better! In-person connection is the BEST.

That’s why Jesus couldn’t wait for us to feel His connection with us.

Did you know that He could have chosen to stay on this Earth, doing what He had been doing? Walking around and healing people and meeting with them.

But He said that it was BETTER for us, if He went, so that He could send the Holy Spirit- who wasn’t limited by a physical body, to being at one place at one time.

The Holy Spirit is able to indwell EACH of us, so that we can all FEEL the in-person (in our very person) connection between God and us!

We don’t just have to imagine it.

We don’t have to wait for it.

He gave us that gift NOW!

But so many haven’t opened it up.

They haven’t invited him to indwell Him,

because they don’t know,

they haven’t been told

that it works like that.

I lived for many years as a Christian and never knew it! I was missing out!

I was trying to obey his rules,

and I wanted a relationship with Him,

but I was missing the Connector, the Comforter.

I was trying to live a transformed-life,

but transformation doesn’t come by trying-

it comes by receiving a love so deeply inside that it changes you.

And we can like someone long-distance,

but to REALLY love them, really connect with them that intimately, we have to be close.

The most intimate connections come when spirits inter-mingle. It’s why sex is supposed to be saved for one man and one woman. It’s not just physical, it’s spiritual too.

We are the bride of Christ.

And one day we will get to meet him face to face.

But we don’t have to wait for that moment, for the intimacy we long for with Him.

To KNOW Him, and be known by Him.

That’s the reason He sent the Spirit-

So we can have that intimacy now.

And in fact, without it-

We may get to the end of our lives and be told “I never KNEW you…”

Matthew 7:21-23-

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!”

{This verse wasn’t about unbelievers- it was about people who call Him Lord, about people who have even used His name to perform miracles! And I’ve been pondering on this verse ALOT the past month, after reading a book about it, because I don’t want to spend my whole life working for Him but missing a vital piece of information, that could separate me from Him in eternity…}

We’ve probably all heard the phrase:

“It’s not what we do, it’s who we know.”

(When it comes to business. As in, connection and networking are even more important than skills. Sometimes, when we don’t feel like we have the right connections, we may even complain about this. We may say “She didn’t even get the job because of her skills, she wasn’t even qualified. It was only because of who she knew!”)

In the Kingdom of Heaven,

He is teaching me that it’s both.

But it’s not like this world.

His ways are higher than ours!

Our position in heaven is TOTALLY secured by who we know! Jesus!

But it also has something to do with what we do…

We have to desire to have a relationship, and to do life together (and His way) instead of independently and whatever way we want.

We have to accept the invitation to get to know Him!

AND not just “know him” as in “I know who He is” (even the demons know who Jesus us.)

The word KNOW that the Bible used meant KNOW INTIMATELY. A deep, personal connection.

And to many, it seems impossible that we would be able to have this kind of connection with someone we have never met, but that’s why we have one more thing to do- ask to receive the Holy Spirit, and wait for Him to come indwell in us.

So many, when they decide to take Jesus as Boss, Lord, and Savior….try to go out, then, in their own power, and live changed lives. They try to manifest the spiritual fruits of love and joy and peace and patience and self-control all on their own… but it’s HIS SEED, HIS SPIRIT in us that makes this fruit-production possible. Just like the birth of baby- a new life- requires both sperm and egg, a REBORN life also requires two parts, our submitted spirit + His Spirit, in us!

In Luke 24:49, Jesus says “And now I will send the Holy Spirit, just as my Father promised. But stay here in the city until the Holy Spirit comes and fills you with power from heaven.”

And the ones who were filled were the ones who went into the upper room, to BE filled! Many were invited, only some of them came. It’s not automatic, it’s intentional.

The Upper Room, today, is a place in the heart. It’s the place that says, more than anything else I want to do or think I have to do…I want to come meet with you, I want to be filled by you, and I will wait here, laying aside all other hopes, dreams, and idols (things that I’m tempted to put first) because I want the BEST- I want to be filled by YOU.

We also need more than a one-time fill, because life will do its best to empty us…in fact, sometimes it kills us inside, and we have to be RE-VIVED…refilled, re-encouraged, resurrected (lifted back up), made alive in Him, again and again and again. Just like regeneration in a video game. There are many opponents- discouragement, death, divorce, betrayal, opportunities for bitterness- that would tempt us to lay there dead, just done – done hoping for more in life, done trying. Defeated. But because we can have the same Spirit in us that abided in Jesus, the same Spirit that brought Him out of the actual grave, we too can be brought out of all those situations in life that feel like they’re killing us.

〰️〰️〰️

Because of Him- no matter how bad it may seem, or how much worse it ever actually gets- it’s not over yet!

Because Jesus is the BEST,

The Best is yet to come (back)!

And this is the flip-side to that Spirit reminder this morning- not only does that message give me Hope everlasting, for endless more goodness to come…

Beyond the vows,

Beyond the babies,

Beyond the bigger houses or more vacations or whatever other daydreams I thought would bring me bigger hope and more happiness…

It also gives me hope, everlasting,

even in the hard times.

It gave me hope in my season of infertility and miscarriage,

Even in the season of fresh grief after losing my dad,

It can give people hope in the unimaginably hard times of crushed dreams,

and grief,

of lost loved ones

and even grief over the passing of parts of life that we looked forward to as well…

Because we do that, don’t we?

We grieve and sometimes long to go back to the seasons where everything felt new and exciting with our spouses.

We grieve and sometimes long to go back go the seasons of babies and snuggles and the pitter patter of little feet.

We grieve and long to go back to the times where life was simpler or sweeter. Especially when we are in seasons of life that are hard and bitter. When our world feels dark.

And also in times when the WHOLE world feels like it’s getting darker and darker.

It gives us hope that

No matter how much darkness we are seeing in this world, we don’t have to despair because it’s not over. The Best is yet to come!

Jesus has promised to come back!

And until He comes, we are called to stay busy getting to know Him better, and urging people to come TO HIM!

Showing them how they can!

Because maybe when we are all face to face with Him, it will be the BEST!

But even now- if we learn how to come heart to heart with Him now, through the Spirit- everything is at least better than it is without Him!

Strength for today.

Bright hope for tomorrow.

That’s what He gives to all who will come to Him to get it!

I read a story today because it had a catchy picture with it. It was a simple, generic bottle of water sitting on a table, and the story was about knowing your worth.

It said that a bottle of water costs $0.25 at Costco, and $5 at an airport, {and lots of other varying prices in between}. It concluded with a reminder to “Know your worth, and go where you are valued.”

I’m literally seeing this message shared everywhere.

And then I’m seeing people actually putting this into practice. LEAVING places just because they don’t feel appreciated. Jobs, churches, even spouses and families. And that last part, particularly, breaks my heart.

I believe the people who write these have good intentions.

But it’s been on my heart to be careful about the know-your-worth messages.

Don’t pass these messages on, friends. It may taste good to your flesh, but it’s POISON to your soul.

You see, Jesus KNEW His worth.

And yet He still came to serve both the people who appreciated Him and the ones who didn’t,

and He chose to BE a friend instead of focusing on who was being a good or bad friend to Him. Or the WORST. (Think of Judas.)

Jesus knew He was a rare vintage bottle of water.

The ONE AND ONLY Son of God.

And yet, He didn’t “Go where people knew his worth and treated Him like He deserved.”

No- He came to Earth.

He poured Himself out,

day in and day out,

and eventually shed every last drop of His precious blood on the cross,

for the ones who loved Him-

but also for the very ones who hung him there to begin with-

asking for God to forgive them because He said they didn’t know what they were doing.

He prayed the best for them

AND GAVE HIS BEST, HIS ALL,

even when they were at their worst.

He did this for me too.

I didn’t always know His worth.

I looked at Him as a “plain bottle of water” and went running after a “fancy bottle of soda” instead. {I went running hard after the things of this world.}

I am SO glad He didn’t leave me, or turn His heart away from me then.

He kept after me, kept sending people to tell me how much He loved me, and He kept loving me…regardless of how I was acting, because He IS love.

I used to love inspirational quotes, but I try to be careful with them now, and test if they’re really quenching my soul or if there’s even one ingredient in them that is going to make me thirstier.

Deep inside we all know our worth.

But we don’t get it from our own self.

We ARE worthy, because God said we are.

He said we were worthy of creating.

He said we were worth it to Him, to send His only Son to pay for our sins because no matter how we tried, we always fell short of being able to attain a ticket to heaven on our own- and yet he WANTS us there, with Him.

And Jesus wants us there too, so badly that He died a brutal death and then conquered the grave to make a way for that to happen!

So- if you want to go where you’re valued,

go to God!

He calls you a treasure!

When we truly KNOW our worth, in His eyes,we WANT to go to Him! And keep coming to Him, day after day after day.

And in His presence, in His Word, we get the best advice about how to deal with this world, where some people appreciate us but many don’t.

And He shows us how to set our course, going out from fullness and not wandering around looking for it.

Serving from that fullness, with our need to be recognized as valuable completely satisfied in Him.

So that we are able to give our service out as grace {unearned favor} to others.

Receiving grace is what changes people, and changed people change the world, starting with their own marriages, homes, families, workplaces, and churches.

We don’t need inspiration, we already have it in Him.

What we need is REVIVAL!

We need people to get hungrily in the Bible, and passing HIS messages on!

Bring His light out and shine it into the world!

And when you are struggling in this world, feeling undervalued and unappreciated- go spiritually to the place where you are MOST valued: God! ❤️