It doesn’t quite feel like Christmas Eve to me today. And I don’t know how I feel about that.
All the hope I used to wrap up in a holiday, has already been opened bit by bit throughout the year. ❤️ Which is wonderful- but also- anticlimactic, dare I say it?
It’s the strangest feeling- being both entirely grateful for the gift of Jesus, but also having this ingrained-by-culture expectation, of a few days that feel particularly remarkable.
Traditions carried on, despite the fact that some loved ones are gone- both a comfort, because part of them remains, but also causing conflict in my soul, as I wrestle with the reality we must all face at times;
That yes- the world, and my family would and would have to- go on, even if I weren’t in it.
And thus, also wrestling with the question- Does anything I do even matter, anyway? Is it lasting?
As I wrestle with these feelings inside, at first I don’t even know what’s going on with me. To others I may seem listless. Distant. Pouty. My husband detects those things in me before I even do. And I deny them- not in a lying kind of way, but because I truly don’t even know. All I know is that I want to keep moving. Going all the places. Seeing all the things. Busying myself.
“Why do you always want to be busy?” he asks me.
“I don’t. I just don’t want to sit here doing nothing.”
And I didn’t know why.
Until I went to the grocery store.
Silently I walked down the aisles, observing.
Not even knowing what I wanted to buy, except milk.
Watching people and faces as they pass by me. Some hurried. Some not.
Finding myself wondering about their lives- Would they be gathering with families? Did any of them not have families?
Thanking God that I do have family left, and asking Him to help me cheer up for them. It’s not their fault I’m struggling today. Heck- I didn’t even know I was until just now.
As I go to pay, I remember that I had put pieces of Christmas candy in my purse, with “Jesus loves you” labels on them- to pass out when prompted by the Spirit. One remained.
“Who should I give it to?” I asked Him.
No chance seemed opportune.
So I shrugged it off, and walked out the door.
Stuck a bit of change in the bucket as the ringers dinged their bells.
Smiled my best intentional smile and wished the gentleman a Merry Christmas without taking the time to make eye contact.
Thanking God for the good in the world- like bell ringers- and charities- and yet, change was all I really had in that moment, not the capacity to start conversation.
As I walked out the door, I heard him call out “God is still in control!” And my heart leapt! A God-wink if I ever heard one. It was like God used his mouth to say that for me, even though by then I’d already gotten out the door.
Smiled a smaller, but for-real smile all the way there, get ready to put my groceries in my cart, and heard the Spirit prompt: “The candy. Take it to him. That’s the one.”
And so I do. Before even unloading my groceries, I go back in and say “I’ve been passing these out and have one left. I was praying for who to give it to and God said you. So I came back.”
He took it gratefully, and repeated, gesturing down at the sweatshirt I had made, intentionally, but threw on without even thinking that day, (in fact, if my laundry had been done I’d have worn a Christmassy one, but it was perfect that I didn’t) — “God is still in control!”
Realizing that it was my shirt that had inspired his declaration, I smiled bigger. “Yes He is!” I agreed.
“More people need to know that,” he said.
I smiled and walked back to my car.
“Yes they do,” I thought.
“But also- I needed to be reminded of it- AGAIN- too.”
I originally started making these shirts to bless others. But I guess it’s true- you can’t bless others without yourself being blessed.
Thanks, God, for encouraging me, and meeting me right where I was at- In the grocery store. And also in the busyness that I (unconsciously) was burying myself in to keep my heart from feeling the things that I’m not in control of.
Control. Maybe that’s what it was. I was feeling out of control. And God reminded me that that’s ok- because HE is still in control. He’s got me.
Anyone else feeling like this? The world is nuts. Feelings are nuts.
Life can be a big tin of mixed nuts. But it’s ok. He’s got you too, friend. ❤️
Handing over the control I didn’t even know I was holding onto, feels surprisingly good.
Ten rules to follow to make it into heaven? Sounds simple enough. But how many of these have you violated? Me- I’ve failed in 9 out of 10, at times.
Unless you count the season where I was unfaithful to my husband- not in adultery, but in giving away the time that should have been his to my work and lesser-priorities instead.
If you count that- I’ve broken all 10.
(Well- number 6 in the grown-up version of these says “Thou shalt not kill” – and I haven’t killed anyone. But I’ve given looks that could kill. And I’ve hurt others. And I have been mad enough to WANT to punch people in the face, and God says that even thinking about it is a sin.)
So that seals it right there. No question. I wasn’t getting in. I don’t deserve to get in.
But Jesus? God? Boy do I love them with my whole heart. And why? Because they get me. Like REALLY get me.
They assume the best of me, though they’ve seen me at my worst. Seen EVERY shameful, awful thing I’ve ever done or even thought about doing. And still- they LOVE me. Because they ARE love. It’s just who they are.
That’s what we all need isn’t it? What we all really want? Unconditional love. Not based on what we have done- either bad or good. Love that has seen us at our worst and yet perseveres in believing the best? Perseveres in extending love to us? 〰️〰️〰️
Man if we could all just wrap our brains around that. Well- our minds won’t even fit around it, His love for us is so enormous, so infinite, so eternal.
God is Trinity- Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
And this is how much God loves us:
“God so loved the world that HE GAVE HIS ONE AND ONLY SON, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
John 3:16-17 NIV
And this is how much Jesus loves us:
“…the Lord Jesus Christ… gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father.”
Galatians 1:3-5 NIV
And this is what the Holy Spirit does for you:
“And I (Jesus) will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to HELP you and BE WITH you forever— the Spirit of truth.”
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And this is the whole of the statement that Jesus says-
To be clear, he doesn’t take back any of the Father’s commands.
BUT- (and this is what so many miss and take for granted and forget to share when they’re pointing their fingers at others who are breaking the rules, or forgetting themselves and letting the enemy point his finger at them and make them feel damned)— He says we don’t have to be able to do them on our own. He says He will come and abide with us, if we ask Him to, and help us!
Jesus says, “If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”” John 14:15-21 NIV
Religious people mean well, but sometimes they preach to others, telling them what’s right and wrong in a way that highlights where o.t.h.e.r.s are falling short and where t.h.e.y are succeeding.
Yep- I have been religious at times too. I still struggle with wanting to fix others. But you know what? I wasn’t even / am not even able to fix myself.
When I was religious, I was reading this passage all wrong.
I was forgetting the part where He showed us that every human in history fell short (meaning unless we are so proud that we believe we will be able to succeed better than every other human in history, we understand that we fall short too.)
I was forgetting the part where He said He’d send a helper. His own Spirit. Which we cannot succeed without. But with whom we become transformed, bit by bit until we enter fullness and completeness in eternity.
I was forgetting the part where someone asked Jesus what the MOST important commandments were (where to start) and “Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40 NIV
When my mind is focused on number one which is an absolute JOY- being loved by God and loving Him- I don’t as often have to TRY to love others as myself. Because when I’m walking in continual joy and healing and love, I’m more likely to BE a joy and bring healing and love to others.
And the other laws are all contained in that.
When I’m completely enamored with Jesus, and I’m thinking about Him and His goodness all day long- every day- not because I have to but because I WANT to, not because I’m trying to but because I can’t NOT, no matter how hard I try… Numbers 1-3 are covered.
Number 4 is flipped upside down. It becomes a for-me thing because my work is in the Lord and my rest is in the Lord, and so I can see that the rest is totally a gift for me- not a grinding for Him.
Number 5 becomes natural as I see that just because they’re older than me, doesn’t mean they are any more able to be perfect. But I’m filled with gratitude as I look back and see with God’s perspective that they tried harder and loved me more than I could ever understand until I had kids of my own and see myself fall short and yet know how much I love them.
Number 6- well I have no desire to kill, but I also don’t have a desire to slap people anymore. Healed people want to see people healed. Hurting people want to see people hurt. The enemy is constantly trying to re-hurt us, but just the touch of Jesus’s cloak- just the shadow of a true disciple- had healing power. And God loves us so much that instead of making us chase cloaks and shadows, he offers that very healing Spirit to live INSIDE of EACH of us who will invite Him in! So every time we do hurt (which is inevitable) we can ask for His healing before we turn around and hurt or think about lashing out at someone else. And if we lash out because we forgot to get healed before we went out- he can help us ask for forgiveness and also help us forgive ourselves for falling short again.
Number 7- when we are so in love with Jesus, we don’t need another to complete us and we are freed to truly see and be grateful for the ways they DO show us love (which can keep us feeling in love with them), and we can ask God to meet – in Himself- any needs of ours that our spouse cannot or does not. When we do that we become so full that we don’t need to go looking for love anywhere else. Or fullness in things. Which covers number 8. What we have becomes more than enough!
Number 9 can still be tricky. Not because we want to lie, but because we understand that truth and love must co-exist. This is an area that I desperately have to call upon the Holy Spirit to help me in. Because there’s truth in the flesh and then TRUTH in God. And I know that is not the point of this commandment (which is to not be a liar), but it’s something I encounter often. For example- it can be the truth that I think someone is acting like a jerk. But telling them that isn’t necessarily loving- and the Truth is that God says to love others as myself. So first I need to get into love with the Spirit’s help. And ask Him why I’m feeling this way- maybe they’re truly being hurtful or maybe I’m just taking it wrong. And even if they were trying to be hurtful He can help me give the benefit of the doubt- believing the best in them- that they weren’t, or that they have some underlying hurt that caused them to hurt me. And most of the time the offense ends there. But sometimes Truth in love conversation is needed, and if that is the case He also can guide me in that, as well as keep me open and humbled to His correction through others. So complicated isn’t it? And that’s exactly why we need his help every moment!
And number 10- well that was always the hardest for me, I’ll be honest. But the more my mind is on him and his grace (everything I have that I didn’t deserve) the less my mind is on anyone else and what they have and the rat -race to get more. He prefills and refills all we need so that satisfaction and gratitude and joy and a sense of full-fillment can ALWAYS be found in Him! And any occasional thoughts of envy? Well He uses those too- to show us our eyes may be wandering, and help us get them right back on Him!
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People misunderstand about Christianity and think it’s about keeping all these rules so we can get to heaven.
So many don’t even want to try or keep trying because it’s too hard. They can’t.
And that’s right- we can’t. BUT JESUS DID. And because He did we don’t have to TRY to anymore-
But that still doesn’t mean we are free to be and act like however we feel… and yet (and I think this is where I and others have gotten tripped up)— TRYING to conform to Christ doesn’t work. BEING TRANSFORMED as we simply yield to Him, because we are in love with Him, that’s what changes us. Loving relationship- not rules- is where it’s at. The rules just show us what kinds of actions He says are good for us, and will be in line with that transformation, and which ones are not.
❤️ Maybe you’re reading this and know it already. But I thought it was worth sharing because it’s so unnatural, and every time I think on this He helps it sink more deeply in.
And He helps me see- how truly unfathomable and remarkable, extravagant and yet NECESSARY His first-Christmas gift to us is! And that it takes our whole lives, in relationship with Him, to OPEN and enjoy it!
I laid out yesterday, on the beach. Do you see the ocean? The sun shine that was warming my soul?
I laid out yesterday, and the day before, on the beach with Jesus. He sent these sun rays to invite me in, and he warmed my soul as if I really was on vacation. And it was wonderful!
〰️〰️〰️ Vacations are one of my favorite things, y’all.
I used to live for them.
Like literally- I would work with vacations in mind, and then in my overworking I would find myself more restless than ever for the sound of the waves, to drown out the stress in my soul.
It was like a riptide- A terrible cycle keeping me under the surface of what God really has for us. {Fresh air and sunshine.}
The thing is- I still love vacations! I just don’t live for them anymore.
I still love the beach- the beautiful sights and sounds and smells, the warm and salty ocean air.
The reminder of life’s ebbs and flows, and Jesus’s faithfulness to keep showing up daily just like the sun rises and sets.
The perfect place for resetting our rhythms. Relearning to breathe in, breathe out. The invitation to just “be” for a moment. Paused in pursuit and simply savoring. To just bask in the sun.
{Bask:
intransitive verb 1 : to lie or relax in a pleasant warmth or atmosphere basking in the warmth of the sun
2 : to take pleasure or derive enjoyment basked in the spotlight
transitive verb obsolete : to warm by continued exposure to heat}
Sometimes looking up definitions helps me understand better what God is doing in my soul.
Because I can’t explain it, and maybe it sounds crazy, but my soul felt like it was at the beach yesterday and the day before, not ALL day- just for the 15 minutes I laid there. No- definitely not all day, which is why I came to God for that moment anyway. I needed an escape, and I needed it sooner than I could plan and get on any vacation. And God offered it to me- instantly. And now I don’t NEED a vacation anymore. And I don’t have to push through the pain to earn one so that I can reset my soul.
How brilliant is He in this? I can have the reset NOW! And if I get to go on vaca also, then that’s just more cake I can be thankful for! But the beach is just a bonus. HE is the escape! HE is the sunshine! HE is the warm and salty fresh air for my soul!
And we can bask in Him a.n.y.w.h.e.r.e! How amazing is that?
He used the rays to invite me in. And yesterday I basked in Him on an Indiana December, on my toddler’s bed with my eyes closed (because it was directly in the sunshine and because this momma’s back doesn’t love laying on the floor 😉.)
But He has shown me I can just as easily and profitably bask in Him on a rainy day, in my car, with no sun at all.
He has helped me bask in Him even in times I have been stuck in bed, so that my soul doesn’t really feel stuck at all.
Turns out the beach was never really my favorite, it was HIM all along. Anywhere He is with me and I can sense Him is my favorite- so everywhere can be my favorite! Isn’t that divine and freeing?
7 years ago I took a trip to one of my favorite beaches, and embarked on a quest to have more “beach moments.” I prayed for it and determined, with God as my witness, to Trust Him for it. I decided to BELIEVE and walk on the belief that His plans for me were good.
He took me on several beach trips since then. Like -for real- actual beach trips. To Florida, Punta Cana, Bahamas, Maui. Ones I never even imagined going on. Spectacular beauty and wonderful company!
But dare I say? The best “trip” He has taken me on is the path to understanding that peace and contentment and joy even… they don’t lie in a set of “perfect” circumstances and surroundings.
They’re not just for once (or if you are extra blessed, several) times a year.
They’re not dependent upon our income, career or leadership status, schedule, or freedom to “roam about the country”…
They’re for any and every moment that we need them.
And not only don’t we have to chase them… or pack for them… or even plan for them… He pursues US with gentle reminders to take advantage of His trips… like the rays He sent in through my window yesterday… as if the sun (Son) was not simply shining but going the extra distance to extend into my world.
You guys. God. Jesus. The Holy Spirit. They’re just ridiculously, lavishly, amazingly wonderful ☀️
Yesterday evening I bundled up and went on a walk to the end of our road and back.
It had been a noisy Monday- with my soon-to-be-3-year old acting line a threenager; homeschool presenting a few challenges; and the dog being extra spastic about anyone (or animal) who walked past our house.
I found myself desperately needing a few minutes of silence. And the air was just the right wintry crispness, without being so cold that it would sting in my lungs.
So I breathed it in deeply.
And- having finished the “business” part of the day, despite its challenges and opportunities for growth, I breathed in gratitude that God had seen me through it all, beautifully…
In the moments where grace flowed out and I responded gracefully, but also in the moments where my capacity was exceeded and I responded snappily too.
All the way to the end of the road, my body breathed slowly, intentionally. And all the way to the end of the road, my soul inhaled His grace, and exhaled praise.
Thank you, God, that not everything has to feel good to bring good.
Thank you, God, that you help us get through all the feels. And that you give us the gift of good feelings – freely – when we go to you for those!
Thank you for the opportunity to homeschool, and the reminder that even though we no longer have a natural transition- from work time to family time, you can help us intentionally transition.
Leaving everything unfinished for the day- unfinished, and without guilt.
Not allowing that to keep us from our time of togetherness and recharge.
Trusting, that learning was still done. That He will use what we were able to do, and that whatever we didn’t get to will still be there for us to work on tomorrow.
And the same with all our other work too.
Knowing that we’ve done what we could do, and even when it wasn’t as much as we wanted to be able to do, it was enough. Not because we, or it, is ever enough, but because He offers us the opportunity to combine it with His grace – which is always EXCEEDINGLY and ABUNDANTLY beyond enough for us.
Remembering this melted any stress that had piled itself onto my shoulders during the day.
Walking back up to my house, I noticed a package on my porch. A gift we had ordered, ready to be wrapped and placed under the tree.
When I went to pick it up, I got another unexpected gift. A view of my kids from the outside in. And a particularly beautiful moment:
Our oldest was teaching the toddler to peel potatoes. Patiently. Protectively. Informatively. Joyfully. I’m not sure the two year old understood, but he did soak in the opportunity to try something his older brother could do.
To anyone driving past, I may have looked like a creeper. Hiding in the shadows of our porch, peeking inside, watching it all unfold like a play in which I had the privilege of front-row seating to.
Finding myself going to pull my phone out of my pocket, hoping to capture the moment like I do all of my favorites- but remembering that I had left my phone in the house on purpose, to unplug for a bit.
And then- hearing in my head my husband’s usual reminder- “Just enjoy the moment, Daylene. See it for real, not always behind a screen.” Touché, babe. You’re right. This one is TOO good for a camera. This image is going to be engrained directly on my heart. ❤️
As I sat there, delighting in how my oldest was delighting in his younger… I suddenly felt aware that God often “looks in” on us this way too.
And I felt a gentle encouragement, an inspiration by my boys, to WANT to make God – my Father- smile, in the same way that my children had made me smile in this moment. As often as possible. Not that they are always perfect. (My walk in the first place was necessitated by ALL of our less-than-perfections.) But that they were real. Present. Able to flow past all the hiccups of the day and move onto the next teachable, lovable moment.
My husband calls me a creeper sometimes because I love glancing in open-windows as we drive around town. Not in a creepy way, but to me- it’s almost as if they’re dollhouses. The way I figure it- if you don’t want anyone seeing in, keep your curtains closed. And mine are usually open because I don’t care who sees in.
I especially love this time of year, seeing all the lit-up Christmas trees. They’re simply beautiful! And most people position them near a window and leave the curtains open so that others can enjoy the light.
Nobody examines them so closely that they judge- “Oh, your ornaments are crooked. That branch is a little off, there’s a gap right there.” (Though we might judge our own that way.) They simply enjoy the gift of lights shared from the inside out.
And it got me thinking- I believe that’s what God wants us to do with our lives. Simply to shine. Simply to delight in one another, our family. Simply to be open and allow that to shine into the outside world. To not worry so much about if someone’s going to think we are less than perfect, or pick apart our flaws- but, admitting we aren’t perfect, and yet sharing our lights just the same, then moving past any hiccups and doing it all over again the next day and the next and the next.
Breathing in the gift of it all- that we get to be alive and we get to do life with others- inhaling that grace, and exhaling gratitude as a natural effect.
Delight in Him, and He will bring delight (the light) to you! 🕯Life with Him is the most delightful thing ever.
What this picture said to me when I captured it {like I do ALL “hidden crosses” I come across} :
Jesus can be found even in the icky places too.
Yes, he’s in the beautiful sky-cross places.
And the shadow crosses, where light spills through the window and leaves the perfect casting of a cross on my floor or on my wall.
But the other day as I was cleaning with my mom, and it was cold and shivery outside, and I went to take the trash out I saw this. And immediately saw the cross, yet thought “that’s not photo worthy” – and yet- it is. Maybe even moreso.
Because Jesus came particularly for the messes didn’t He?
He came for those of us who feel like messes.
For those of us who have messy moments where we wonder if we belong here, tossed out with the trash.
Yet He meets us right where we are. He scoops us up and calls us treasure.
So many Christmas seasons I filled with hopes and dreams for feelings.
I had seasonal bucket lists of all the “Christmassy” things. Hot cocoa. Caroling. Cutting down our own tree. Light-drives. New pajamas. Christmas cookies. Christmas books. Homemade or carefully -selected presents for all the people we know. Angel-tree gifts.
On the years where we weren’t able to do all the things, I felt myself struggling to be content. I see those same sentiments reflected on Facebook lately. People sharing how they’re having a hard time getting in the holiday spirit. And I know that feeling exactly. It especially can be present when we are missing a loved one, or a tradition has been forced to be changed.
This season has been so different for me.
I don’t know if I’d say I’ve necessarily been in a “holiday spirit”, because I feel the same that I feel most of the time now…
I feel the hope and joy and peace that all the Christian carols sing about.
I feel a stillness in my soul, that could take or leave all the regular traditions and be just as content.
I find myself surprised at how full I feel, despite this being the first year we didn’t cut our own tree down.
Or the fact that our gift budget is much smaller.
Or the reality that I just have had too many other things to do and haven’t gotten the outside lights up.
It’s like a “sorry, not sorry feeling”… like maybe I should feel sad and apologetic that I’ve interrupted the way we’ve always done it, but NOT at all sorry, because that old holiday spirit feeling I used to chase…well it was just a glimpse of HIM, and now He is with me ALWAYS! Holy Spirit chased me down and He is with me all year long.
Holy Spirit beats the world’s versions of holiday spirit, all day every day! ❤️
Trying to be content- Trying to muster up the holiday spirit feelings… Sometimes that can be one of the most difficult feelings there is. Almost a grief of sorts. When we cannot control things and traditions, we grieve our inability to make ourselves feel the way those things made us feel.
But if we have Jesus we don’t have to grieve as the world does.
And giving is good, but giving with the main intention of making us feel better, well He can still use that, and others will still be blessed … but the motivation for that is off.
Holy Spirit has shown me so many times this year that when we chase the feels, we may catch glimpses of them but often they’ll flit a way like a butterfly, disappear as quickly as a desert-mirage.
But when we sit still in the quiet place with Him, we find that HE- the God of the universe- has been chasing US all along! Holy Spirit’s fullness can override all the other icky feelings that we struggle with, including discontent.
We don’t have to get ourself out of anything. Not grief. Not a sense of lack. Not disappointment. Not doubt. Not unforgiveness. Not a lack of motivation.
We don’t have to muster up the good feels.
All we have to do is invite him into them with us! He can and will override the “icky” supernaturally if we ask Him.
He will comfort us, help us feel complete, help us hope, help us believe, erase the emotions off painful memories so that we can forgive, and help give us momentum which is better than motivation!
He does all of this by filling us up with the very best PRESENCE- which is better than any present- His!
(Not as if what I’m gaining out of the quiet place won’t grow me, because he knows that I know better than to believe that.
But more like an accusation that I’m not stewarding my time well when I have days or seasons where I extra-need God’s guidance and encouragement or where I just c•r•a•v•e that time with Him.)
“What a waste! Your time could have been spent handing food out to the poor. Or working, so that you have more money to give to charities or to the church.” – he (the enemy) adds.
And God knows that my heart is for helping in any way He asks me to,
but something still compels me to not only give Him my ALL (as in, “Lord, you are the boss of every part of my life – I’ll go where you tell me to go, stay where you tell me to stay, serve where you tell me to serve, and walk away when you say it’s time to walk away…”)
but to also give HIM my BEST.
The first chunk of my day as often as I’m able. Before the housework gets me. Before the kids require help with school. Before the list of work tasks comes out. Before I begin responding to others’ messages.
Not because I have to but because I want to. Because it doesn’t even feel like giving him anything, it feels like receiving the gift of a moment with Him.
And yet, since the enemy wasn’t coming at me with a worldly point of view, but rather a religious one, I was confused and I had to take this to Jesus also.
“You’re like the woman with the perfume,” is what I heard Him whisper to my soul. 💕
“Don’t feel guilty. It’s precious! I have all I could ever need, and yet the one thing I desire has to be given as a gift. And that is hearts!
Hearts that love me more than ANYTHING else.
Hearts that long to spend time with me first and as often as they can.
Not because they feel some religious duty to, but because they LONG to.
They LOVE me.
They SAVOR our together time.
I love all my children, but the ones who experience my favor are the ones who savor time with me. (He knows I love a good rhyme!) 😉 “
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So I looked up the story of the woman with the perfume:
“Jesus was at Bethany, a guest of Simon the Leper. While he was eating dinner, a woman came up carrying a bottle of very expensive perfume. Opening the bottle, she poured it on his head.
Some of the guests became furious among themselves. “That’s criminal! A sheer waste! This perfume could have been sold for well over a year’s wages and handed out to the poor.” They swelled up in anger, nearly bursting with indignation over her.
But Jesus said, “Let her alone. Why are you giving her a hard time? She has just done something wonderfully significant for me.
You will have the poor with you every day for the rest of your lives. Whenever you feel like it, you can do something for them. Not so with me. She did what she could when she could—she pre-anointed my body for burial. And you can be sure that wherever in the whole world the Message is preached, what she just did is going to be talked about admiringly.”
(Then)Judas Iscariot, one of the Twelve, went to the cabal of high priests, determined to betray him. They couldn’t believe their ears, and promised to pay him well. He started looking for just the right moment to hand him over.”
Mark 14:3-11 MSG
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There are so many pieces of wisdom hidden in this story. They point to what Jesus treasures. Each time I read stories in my Bible I see something new. And I’m sure I won’t even begin to touch on all of the gems hidden in this one. One blog post is not enough for that!
In a world that works very opposite of the way His Kingdom does, we NEED His Word to help recalibrate us to His heart. His Truth.
I can be really confident when I set out in the direction He calls me, because when I am flowing in His spirit, He is moving me I am not the one doing the moving. I am not trying to desire more time with Him, I simply do.
But when I go into the rest of my day, “into the (“real”) world”, His isn’t the only voice I’m hearing. The voice of hustle tries to chime in as well. And the voice of guilt.
And then I intentionally have to go back to Him so He can show me how to proceed. Assure me that I’m on the right track, or correct me if I’m off. And here is what he showed me this time:
What is the most valuable thing we can give anyone?
The thing that we cannot buy more of, control our supply of, or get back once it is given?
TIME.
There are always going to be people who look at others living a God-led instead of goal-led life, and think “How wasteful! How wasteful that you’re spending so much time just enjoying His presence. Your time could have been put to work instead, for a year’s wages and handed out to the poor.”
In other words, these voices say “You could be more valuable to Him, make more of an impact for His Kingdom, if you would just spend your time the world’s way, and if you spend your money the religious way…”
But God goes to great lengths to show us that His ways are higher than ours.
Sometimes His ways are beyond what our fleshy, (worldly or religious, either way) minds can wrap themselves around.
We can learn the most from the red letters in His Book. (The ones Jesus said.) ❤️
And what did Jesus say to these accusers?
***”But Jesus said, “Let her alone. Why are you giving her a hard time? She has just done something wonderfully significant for me.“ ***
And what did Jesus say when I came to him about the voices of guilt accusing me (having come from being a workaholic) of being lazy?
He made those thoughts leave by speaking Truth over me. “By giving me your time, your most limited commodity, lavishly- lovingly- you have done something wonderfully significant for me…”
And then he reminds the grind-stirrer in me, “You will have the poor with you every day for the rest of your life. Whenever you feel like it, you can do something for them.” (And He helps us to desire and do that too!)
There will be plenty of other moments in the day where I can serve, and plenty of opportunities to do so. But just like He shows us in the story of Mary and Martha, when HE is our joy, our delight, and we spend our time delighting in Him lavishly, it’s not a waste. It’s the BEST. Even though it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice because we are so in love with Him that it feels like all joy…And even though everything we have came from Him to begin with…He perceives it as a gift!
Jesus didn’t say don’t help the poor. Jesus didn’t say don’t work. Jesus didn’t say don’t spend time serving.
What He said was- lavishly loving moments with Him come FIRST!
& What He said to anyone trying to guilt us over taking that time (even just the other voices that try to whisper lies to our minds), as if we are taking away from His Kingdom, or even our own kids, by taking that time- is… you’re wrong.
He didn’t come JUST for service to the poor.
He didn’t come JUST to feed the hungry food.
He came to teach us how to live by more than bread alone! (Matthew 4:4)
And until we allow Him to teach us how to live that way in the quiet place (which takes time that seems so foolish to the world to set aside)… how could we ever hope to share this “better bread?” with the world, which deep down is what they REALLY need anyway. It’s the BEST stuff!
You know, the thing is, I call this my encouragement blog, but really? It’s more like an encouragement LOG, where I simply share all the wonderful ways that He encourages me. 💕
If God were speaking directly to you this morning, what word would He place in there?
The text was originally written, God, not your marital status, defines your life. (So whether single or married or who we are married to- whether the most difficult or the most magnificent of mates, we can be defined by our partnership with God which is ETERNAL.)
For me, though, marriage isn’t the issue on my heart at this moment. So Holy Spirit chimed in this morning with “or career status.”
“God, not your career status, defines you, Daylene. ❤️” {And anyone else reading this who needed to hear that.}
Perhaps we are in different seasons right now which are causing us to both need that encouragement.
Maybe someone reading this is facing the possibility of unemployment due to the vaccine mandate (I’ve had several people come across my path who need prayers about that.)
Maybe you’re a mom, like me, who wants to be home with her kids and yet there’s also this other, personal creative drive that you sometimes struggle to contain within the time that you have and you feel guilty. At times it feels like you’re shortchanging your kids by taking some time for this calling, and at other times it feels like you’re falling short of what God wants from you because you’re limited in time due to having so many duties at home.
The enemy- he likes to put up fences and box us in.
He does this by presenting choices. So many of them. TOO many.
And then he gets us to sit around and question where we are at, if we made the right choice.
And some of us climb to the other side of the particular fence he is making us focus on, and we think that the grass will be greener, and maybe it does seem to be so at first- but after awhile when the newness wears off we are disillusioned because we find that the landscape isn’t perfect there either.
Not all of the world’s encouragement quotes are good but there is something to “The grass is greener wherever you water it.” 🌱 💦 ☀️
However I’d go a step further and say that we can learn to be most content by looking up (at Jesus) instead of down and around.
〰️〰️〰️ I didn’t even intend at all to write about marriage today since that’s not what I’m struggling with at the moment, but I know that many are. And since that’s the original context of the verse He brought me to today, I will go ahead and exhort anyone who needs it while I have the opportunity.
The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the marriage fence, whether that means singleness or searching for someone else.
Both being in a committed partnership (no matter who it is that is our spouse) and being single have blessings and challenges.
And sometimes watering the grass where you’re at does make it greener! It really does.
I’ve seen my marriage improve alot as my husband and I have made a point to invest in learning about each other more and doing our best to love the way they need it and not just the way we receive it.
But the ONE thing that’s helped our marriage become better than it ever has been before is having God in the center as our mediator, comforter, guide, and number one common ground.
We each became happier people, easier for one another to please, when we started looking UP at Him, more than at our “grass” to see if it was green or brown, or at others’ marriages or single lives “on the other side of the fence.”
〰️〰️〰️ Going back to what was originally on my heart to write about- career status- or personal callings and passions and using creative talents versus serving in ways that feel more general whether at a job or at home…
The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the career fence, either… no matter what the enemy might say.
Whether that means finding a career where you can feel secure by a set salary and benefits, either doing something you enjoy, or something you can tolerate enough to make the work worth it….
Whether that means having ALL the time to work on a job or personal project that with the creative skills that make you feel alive…or serving at home 24/7.
Career defined means “an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life and with opportunities for progress” – so even if serving at home replaces a traditional career, we can still think of it as such.
Any service whether paid or unpaid, outside of home or in the home, comes with blessings and challenges.
And sometimes watering the grass where you’re at does make it greener! It really does. Investing in our work and in our family with prayer and a good attitude and effort makes a difference.
But just like He’s already shown me in my marriage, the ONE thing that I think God is trying to show me that can help me find the contentment I’m looking for in the work/life tug of war that the enemy keeps trying to set up in my soul…
is tearing down that fence, and turning my eyes up!
Work and life are not separate.
The work outside the home which I do not naturally enjoy does not need to compete against family, so that I’m resenting it and looking over to my family-side-of-the-fence longingly, wishing I was home all the time. (Which is what happened just before I made my first jump from working full time outside the home to working from home.)
Work inside the home which I do not naturally enjoy (the things we don’t think of when we wish to be home full time, like the fact that when we are all home all day, the house needs cleaned more than once, and we have to cook 3 meals instead of 1)…does not have to compete against passion, so that I’m resenting it and wishing I was able to do what I love always. (Which is writing and encouraging, and this particularly is the encouragement He is giving me right now.)
He’s making it clear that the real battle isn’t about where I am or what I’m doing, it’s a war between my flesh that wants to feel pleased and be about me always and my soul that wants to serve and be about others always. And I can’t be all about me and all about others all at once. So the only way to reconcile this is to give it ALL to Him.
So that when I’m in the block of time where I can passionately do what I love, I do it for His glory and to draw others to Him. I can see it as not even just a joy that I get to do, but a job that is purposeful and can have impact (even if it’s unpaid.)
And when I’m in the blocks of time where I am called to serve in other ways, that I don’t naturally flow in as much, I can see it not just as a “job” which makes me feel a flesh resistance to it, but I can see it all as a joy because I get to do it with Him.
I used to want nothing more than to be my own boss and not have a boss over me. That’s actually more heavy than I could have ever imagined. Now, I understand nothing is better than having Jesus in the boss-seat of every part of my life. He’s not only my boss, He is also my best friend, comforter, guide, and the connector that helps me in relationships.
My marriage transformed so much when I allowed Him to teach me that the number one goal is not necessarily to be made more happy, but to be made more holy— more like Jesus. He also showed me that I can find joy in doing things I don’t naturally, as an individual, love to do (like anything athletic really 😆) – with my husband, because I love my time with Brett, not because I love the activity itself. And you know, I’ve come to enjoy cornhole more now than ever because of this new mindset.
This morning, He brought a new sense of peace to my mind, calming the chaos that was there between “all the things” and my flesh and soul tugging me back and forth between the ones I enjoy and the ones I don’t, so that I felt constantly pulled apart.
“With me”, He said, “it can ALL be a joy! Because you enjoy spending time with me and learning from me!”
“And- it’s also ALL counted as service unto me. The parts you love that don’t feel like work, count just as much as the parts that FEEL like you’re doing a job, because you’re doing them all for me. For my glory. To grow my kingdom, not your own or anyone else’s. It all matters.❤️”
As I dwell on that this season, I am confident I will become an even more joy-full person, more content in all areas of life, as I look up at Him more, in the “doing” (both creative work I enjoy and cultivating work that feels more like work), instead of letting the enemy make me wish I was someplace else or doing something else. ☀️
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Romans 5:1-5 MSG
“By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus.
And that’s not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us.
We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand— out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory standing tall and shouting our praise.
There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next.
In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!” God is so good! He brings out the good in ALL! Amen! 🙌🏻 ✝️ 🙌🏻
Last weekend and early this week, we were all down with colds. The older kids, of course, just like my hubby and I, can take care of their own noses. But since the little guy hasn’t figured out how to blow his own nose just yet, every morning we had a new routine.
Just like normal, I’d get him up. Sing him a song. Change his diaper. Get him a drink.
Except on these mornings I would also grab out the nose frienda and a bottle of saline nose spray.
I’d take a warm, soft baby washcloth and wipe the crusties out his eyes. He didn’t mind that so much. I’m sure it felt pretty good.
But then came the part he hates. And the part that I GET that he hates, and hate that he hates, but I have to do it anyway because it’s important to get all that gunk and snot out, so he can breathe deeply again and feel better. And because did you know that if you let all that snot sit, it can cause a secondary sinus infection? And of course I don’t want that for my kid.
So the first two mornings he pitched a fit, kicking and screaming, but we still got it done.
By morning 3, he fussed a bit but willingly let me do it. {I think he remembered that bonus snuggles come after nose sucking.}
And by the next day, he knew what was coming and didn’t bother protesting. “Mommy’s helping you” I reminded him. “Okayyyy Mommy,” he echoed back. And afterwards, “Thank you for cleaning me.” {He’s so sweet that one, he always thanks me for cleaning him, like every time I change his diaper too. It’s adorable.}
God speaks to me so much through my mothering experiences, and every morning as this would happen, I felt in my heart that this is what it’s like to sit with the Father- when we are “sick”. Meaning-when there’s something icky in us that he has to help us address.
He doesn’t bother to ask if it was our fault or not, {Did you insist on going outside in the cold without your hat on??}
He doesn’t tell us to take care of it ourselves. Even if we are old enough and know how to “blow our nose” spiritually speaking. The truth is we are all spiritual infants compared to Him, and we could never adequately get all the “snot” out without His help.
He isn’t harsh or unloving about it. He simply pulls us onto His lap. Gets us into His presence. Gets out his spiritual “snot sucking kit”- which is the Bible – and lets it do its work on us, exposing and clearing out all the junk in our hearts.
Fear. Envy. Pride. Anger. Whatever it is.
Keeping it from settling and causing secondary spiritual infections.
Helping us heal faster so we have less of a chance of spreading it to others.
And if we trust He is a good Father, we let Him do this in us.
Is it pleasant? No.
I much prefer our regular “snuggle time” where I cuddle up with a coffee and my Bible and everything is good and I feel like I’m reading a love letter from my Heavenly Dad.
But sometimes it’s not like that, though the snuggles always follow if we stay for them.
Sometimes it “sucks”.
Have you ever used a nose Frieda on your kid?
It’s really icky. Super effective, but looks gross. Nothing gets in your mouth, but the snot chamber is clear and you can see everything that’s coming out. It’s how you know when you’re done. 🤢 And toddlers really don’t like seeing that. Or feeling the suction. It’s definitely not their favorite, but they do like deeply breathing when you’re done!
Sometimes reading the Bible when we have that “snot” in us sucks.
The Spirit reveals. Highlights things you need to let God work on. It brings everything out. And we don’t like seeing that! We don’t like feeling that “suction.”
But we can learn to love the next part- the breathing deeply that follows!
{Is it a coincidence that the “nose Frieda” He used to illustrate this for me sounds like FREEDOM? I think not.}
Also, the snuggle time with our Savior after, that follows, is simply the BEST.
And it’s loving that, that helps us tolerate what needs to be done in us. Keeps us coming back to be cared for. When we feel good about it, and even when we don’t.
Everything He does in us and reveals to us is for our good. And He takes the time to do it because He loves us. Because He’s our Father. ❤️
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“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
I wrote this post last year, when I was in the deepest part of the pain that comes when you lose a parent right before the holidays and you’re dreading all the firsts without them.
Today I just want to share that if you’re struggling with grief, on this National day of gratitude (Thanksgiving) that’s ok.
It doesn’t make you ungrateful for what remains.
Grief is a very real emotion and it’s a hard one to go through.
Give yourself some time and space.
And reach out to someone if you need to.
Above all, pray. (Talk to Jesus.)
It’s the only thing that really helps us get through.
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Anyone else find themselves scrolling to fill, scrolling to feel today?
Yeah. I have been too.
Truth is, it never works.
And yet, I keep searching anyway.
Until my scrolling leads me to a friend’s reminder of what I’m really after. Comfort. And the good kind only comes from one place. Christ.
Truth is- this year, this season is weird.
Hard.
Actually, I think life just is.
And the holidays seem to accentuate all the “feels”.
Chaos, mixed with moments of peace;
eager anticipation, mixed with moments of agony;
a desire for things to remain forever, mixed with reminders that they change too fast…
As I deal with grief this holiday season, and a deep sense of loss, I realize now, more than ever, how important God’s people, {His hands and His feet} are for those of us who remain on Earth…
Hands that hug. That hold. That give a reassuring grip on your shoulder.
Feet that come over, spend time with you, force you to get up out of your seat and interact.
Eyes that see past the scrolling, and the sullenness, and KNOW you’re not trying to be antisocial. You are just feeling a deep sense of loss, and your flesh is trying to fill it…
Fingers that type, mouths that speak… and remind us of the truth.
It’s OK.
It’s ok to not be ok.
It’s ok to have those holes.
Nobody needs you to be whole, for them.
Sometimes we are just going to FEEL more hole-y than holy.
And that, my friend, is ok. We don’t have to fix it. In fact we can’t.
No amount of scrolling is going to give us the substance our souls are searching for.
Tonight, I needed a friend’s post to snap me back into reality… that when all else fails {to satisfy that deep, deep longing, the void in our souls}, God does not…
Maybe you needed that reminder too. If so, I pray my ability to relate is a comfort to your heart. 💗
And now… I think I’ll log off for just a few days, so God can help me get filled with the comfort only He can give, in the quiet place we enter when we shut the virtual world off…
Wishing you comfort and joy this Thanksgiving, friends, & praying for His peace in you, that fills all the holes. I’m so thankful for all the people, near and far, virtual and in-person, who God has given me to do life with.
From Full 