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I passed this sign the other day on my way to a cleaning job I do, and I had to stop and take a picture of it because it put into words something I hadn’t been able to express that has been so very much on my heart:

The outskirts of Heaven

What exactly is that?

Well not what I imagine they meant when they posted this in their front yard (which was probably that country living feels heavenly, with its beautiful views).

What it was 𝓉ℴ 𝓂ℯ, was an explanation about all the exasperation I can still feel in this life, even as a Christian.

You see, my soul is now set ℴ𝓃 ℯ𝓉ℯ𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓉𝓎,
my heart has been rewired to desire 𝒽ℯ𝒶𝓋ℯ𝓃.

And nothing and no one, in this world, is enough to satisfy me.

Things that once came close, fall terribly short, now that I’ve had a taste of ℋ𝒾𝓂.

And that’s not saying that I don’t find pleasure and joy in my family, or in the blessings of this life, or even in serving, because I do!

What I’m saying is, now that I’ve “seen God’s face” (now that I’ve come to experience His presence so strongly in our personal time together), I am not content simply with “His hand” (the things He blesses me with.)

Nothing but Jesus will do!

Nothing but that intimate time with Him fills me up!

It’s like I’ve been converted from one type of fuel to another, and now only He will do!

I can 𝒪𝒩ℒ𝒴 run on the grace that flows into me during this time. And whenever I try to grind like I used to- and get by in my own power- I become painfully aware, (and quicker each time)- that it’s a big fail.

I left the grind life behind.

I left the path of daydreaming and motivational speeches and being a #momboss.

I was the 𝓌ℴ𝓇𝓈𝓉 boss ever to myself.
I needed HIM to be the boss of not just my work but of my whole life. Putting Him in that position (and keeping Him there) is the only thing that makes me feel whole instead of pulled apart.

I no longer have the ability to set a dream and run after it.
He pulled me out of that chase, and chased me down to spend time in His presence,
and now there’s not a “carrot” or a dream or a present this world could offer that would come even close to providing what I feel in our time together.

Only Jesus can fuel me now!

But therein lies the problem:
It’s not only Jesus and us in this world.

It’s not Jesus and us and our loved ones who love Him either.

That is what Heaven will be.

And this is not Heaven.
It is earth.
It is earth-after-Eden.
Fallen earth, imperfect earth,
earth where the enemy has access to interrupt our lives and our minds. And it’s not a natural thing to shut him out. It takes intention. All we want is peace, and he persistently comes at us with his problems.

One of those problems, for me, in this season has been worry about provision. And I can sometimes (ok, often)- allow that to pull me out of taking that needed time with Jesus- because I’m trying to handle things myself.

I’m not saying work is bad.
I’m also not saying work is the problem.
It’s not the time I spend cleaning houses, or sharing faith shirts that’s the problem, it’s the time I spend worrying or ℴ𝓋ℯ𝓇working to try to make things happen in my timing (which I usually want to be quicker than God’s. 😉)

So I find myself at enmity-
What I want to do (spending time with Him)
competing with what I “have” to do (working), and making me think that work is now the enemy when actually, even if I didn’t have to work, these are things I wouldn’t mind doing and would 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 to do.

I’m so confusing! 🤪

Add to the the crazy schedules of being a mom with kids in activities, and being involved in ministry, and some days lately I feel like my mind has been batted around all day and I collapse into bed more exhausted from my own back-and-forth thoughts and emotions than from actual activity.

And there we have it:
The personal time I desired with Him but didn’t take, has not only NOT “saved” me time, but not taking it has kept Him from saving me from these mental battles. 😯

I was seeing my time with Him as something competing with other things for my time, and tending to handle “needs” before desires, while missing that this time with Him, is, in fact, the deepest need of all!

I was staying on the ℴ𝓊𝓉𝓈𝓀𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓈 of Heaven,
hungrily thinking about it,
while not allowing myself to actually enter in, sit down, and dine on His presence.

We do not live by bread alone, but by every His every word… and I’ve been skipping meals and getting hangry, because it felt like I had to.

Unbelievers may not understand, but I want them to. Feasting on Him is more filling than anything in this world! Soaking in the Son is better than the most lavish all-inclusive beach trip, soaking in the sun!

But— sometimes, it doesn’t seem like it— looking from the outside in.

Sometimes Christians can seem more miserable than anyone.

Sometimes I can 𝒻ℯℯ𝓁 more hangry than ever, now that I’ve fed on Him, because I have turned on an appetite that now nothing else will satisfy!

A Christian who isn’t filling themselves with personal time with God, but ℴ𝓃𝓁𝓎 staying on the “outskirts” (only going to church for the social aspect, or the tradition; only doing devotionals to check them off) is effectively the same as someone who is starving driving to a Texas Roadhouse, smelling all the smells, seeing all the pictures of the food plastered on the windows outside, but never ℯ𝓃𝓉ℯ𝓇𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝒾𝓃 and ℊℯ𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝒻𝒾𝓁𝓁ℯ𝒹! Your stomach would growl even more, being that close, than it would have before when you were further away, wouldn’t it?

That’s how it is with Him too!

So many people go to church and leave hangry.

Then they feel even guiltier and more broke because they think that it should work for them, that they should feel filled, should be able to not act hangry, should be ready to serve… but the truth is, they stopped short.

I sometimes stop short.

We are so set on our schedules,
(an hour-long service)
that sometimes we leave after appetizers and miss the main part of the meal.
(The part where we just bask in His presence and worship as He pours over us!)

Sometimes we don’t even “eat” the appetizers, we just come in, chat with a few people, turn around and leave, and wonder why we are still hungry!

And even if we get a full meal there, even if we enter into His presence and get filled, sometimes we forget that we need this “bread” 𝒟𝒜ℐℒ𝒴! We wouldn’t think of eating food only once a week. But how often do we skip our spiritual meals which is quality time with Him? Or eat a quick snack like a devotional, (which could be equated to someone else sharing about their meal) instead of getting directly filled by His actual presence? Reading is important, of course, but the awareness of His presence with us and of the 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝓈ℴ𝓃𝒶𝓁 nature of what we are reading- His words to 𝓊𝓈- is so so important.

It makes all the difference between actually dining, or just driving to the restaurant and getting a smell. 😉

And y’all.
I didn’t realize it, but in our current season of busyness that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

Settling for smells.
Staying in the outskirts FAR too often,
with only the occasional real meal.

Fine dining takes time.
It’s an experience!

But experience is telling me that skipping this time is not only not increasing my productivity, it is hindering it.

So that’s what He’s working on in me this week:

Trusting I CAN take it.
That the world – and my world- won’t fall apart if I pause to eat of His presence regularly and often.

Trusting that I’ll be –
and serve-
and love-
all the better for it!

No longer hangry, and for the satisfaction of people, but filled and from the satisfaction of that fullness which is only found in my Jesus.

Believers, allow yourself a breath.

Don’t try to gain the world, just to lose your soul.
And don’t try to gain the world (as in the world of people, for Him), to lose 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 soul because you’ve starved to death while trying to feed the hungry.

Those who aren’t yet believers-

Take it easy on us Christians.
We are 𝒻𝒶𝓇 from perfect.
We are far from our heart’s true home (heaven).
Sometimes we forget to feed our souls.
And so sometimes we act hangry.
Please forgive us.
It’s not right. But it’s the truth.
And we try every day to be worthy of our calling, but we just can’t on our own.
It’s why we need to be filled with Him.

So when we are acting like jerks- even when we have Jesus in our lives- we just need someone to remind us to go sit down and eat a real meal with Him. 🥖❤️

——

If that’s you today, friend…
(like it was me…again…just this morning…)
this post is officially your “permission” to do something kind for yourself by going to spend some quality time in His presence.

Trust me, you’ll feel SO much better on the inside than on the outskirts! 🩵

“Slow?” 🤔 ”You want a bracelet to say ‘slow’?” was my daughter’s response when I presented my request.

Yes, yes I do. Actually I NEED a bracelet on my wrist to remind me to be slow. And here’s what that means to me and why I need it so much:

• Sometimes I get so wrapped up in projects with God that I begin to lose myself –
  lose the version of me that I am,
  the Daylene that I actually like,
  the one that is only found and around by spending lots of 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝓈ℴ𝓃𝒶𝓁 time with Him.
  So sometimes I need to be reminded-
  to take a break from Facebook,
  take a break from projects
  …even together-projects…
  to 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒷ℯ together.
  This requires me slowing down.
  Remembering that my assignments are not a race. Allowing myself time… not just to seek His hand (His provision, His blessing, even though I am depending on Him for those things in this season)… but to simply seek His face. Because I love Him. And because I need that “face time” with Him. Just like I need it with my earthly husband, Brett. And even though Brett and I are together almost 24/7 in this season, and we work on a lot of things together, and we spend time with our family together, all of that can NOT take the place of our time together where we are 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒷ℯ𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝒶𝓁ℴ𝓃ℯ 𝓉ℴℊℯ𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇. That time, in fact, is not only indisposable but it 𝒻𝓊ℯ𝓁𝓈 me for the rest! The same is true of my alone time with Jesus. I can spend all my other time with an awareness of His presence as I do my chores, do my work, hang out with my peeps…but it can’t take the place of our alone time, and when I allow that time to be squeezed out by the rest, I suddenly find myself feeling 𝓇ℯ𝓈𝓉𝓁ℯ𝓈𝓈 and irritable and not ”myself”— not the version of me that I like anyway. (The version of me that is only enabled by Him.)
• In addition to that, and probably as a result of my allowing that time to decrease instead of increase, as I aim to do more Kingdom work…I find that I am quick to react in ways that I don’t want to. I get annoyed more easily. I get offended more easily. I get my feelings pierced more easily. And that was happening recently, which is one of the reasons I knew I needed to take a break from Facebook.

Because if I’m honest I can hide, can scroll, can “tune out” of real life and get lost in my feed, trying to FEED some inner hunger subconsciously. (Wow. The fact that it’s called our newsFEED really just hit me for the first time right now.)

But the thing about the newsfeed, or anything actually that we are trying to feed our emptiness with, is that it will never ever satisfy us. Because only He can. I can scroll forever and never feel settled. Or I can allow Him to scroll my soul and tell me exactly why I’m feeling angry or empty or offended or hurt or uneasy, and He will. And He will also fill me with Himself – whether or not any of the circumstances that cause me to feel those ways changed or not. He is AMAZING!

Why do I resist this sometimes? Why don’t I remember to go to Him 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉? Why don’t I see that what I’m craving isn’t the affirmation of people but of “MY PERSON” (Jesus) even more than of my husband who is my favorite person on this earth? I don’t know. But I’m hoping my bracelet will help me “slow” down each day going forward so I don’t lose sight of this.

• Lastly, He gave me an acronym for SLOW, among the many things He gave me this week in my moments of alone time with Him.

S
L
O
W

Stop
Looking to
Others to define your
Worth!

Only God gets to grade me.
Only God gets to define me.
People are fickle- and that includes my own self.
We are also wired with the need for someone to always love us and always be pleased with us, and if we examine the world we can see for ourselves how humans tend to jump around from place to place, relationship to relationship, friendship to friendship, job to job, church to church, looking for 𝓈ℴ𝓂ℯℴ𝓃ℯ, 𝒶𝓃𝓎ℴ𝓃ℯ who will love them like this.

And we never find it. Not forever. It may start that way but sooner or later they’ll let us down and we will let them down. Because perfect love only comes from a perfect person, and there’s only ONE of those who ever existed! ✝️ But the Good News- literally- is that there’s enough of Him to go around!

We can ALL have that relationship with Him!

He can be “MY PERSON” and YOUR person and everyone else’s person too, because of the Holy Spirit!

I can’t and don’t want to share my earthly husband. He’s mine. All mine. But I CAN and WANT TO share my heavenly husband! Because He isn’t limited! He can be “all mine” and still be “all yours” and it doesn’t take anything away from me! In fact, it adds to me, it blesses me, when I see others loving Jesus and being deeply loved by Him! It’s one of the best joys in this life!

——

• Do you feel overwhelmed? Maybe even with Kingdom work that you love?
• Do you need a getaway?
• Have you been unconsciously trying to getaway by vegging out in your newsfeed or in any other hiding place? (Maybe alcohol, drugs, sleep, shopping, work, volunteer work, whatever…)
• Can you not get enough to fill you? Do you always want more?
• Do you find yourself restless, irritable, and maybe even reacting quickly in ways that you don’t like? Knee-JERK reactions like I talked about?
• Do you want someone, anyone to love you perfectly and always believe the best of you even when you’re not acting like your best?
• Have you left relationships because they can’t give that to you? (Sometimes people make us see the worst in ourselves. Sometimes we do this to ourselves worse than anyone! Sometimes we would “leave ourselves” if we could.)

But the good news is we don’t have to!
We don’t have to leave our relationships.
We don’t have to leave our selves (life.)
We don’t have to turn off these desires either.
We just have to 𝓈𝓁ℴ𝓌 down and remember where to go for these needs to be met perfectly.

It’s 𝒜ℒ𝒲𝒜𝒴𝒮 Jesus.

It always was what we were missing before we had Him.

It always will be, when we feel that empty “missing something” feeling.

We NEED 𝒥ℯ𝓈𝓊𝓈, and 𝓂ℴ𝓇ℯ ℴ𝒻 ℋ𝒾𝓂!

I can never get enough!
Thankfully, He never runs out!

I love talking about the 𝒹ℯℯ𝓅 stuff.

I cherish 𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎 that walks hand in hand with 𝓅ℴ𝓈𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓉𝓎.

There’s nothing like having a conversation with a friend where you have permission to be open and honest with them, and they with you, and you know on the other side of it, even if it gets messy for a moment, love will prevail.

That’s a “ℊ𝓇ℴ𝓌𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝒸ℯ” 💕 and to be honest it’s one our society rarely goes to.

Our culture feels like one where we are forced to choose between staying…silently offended; or leaving…either physically or by “quietly quitting”.

(Ever heard that term? It means staying physically but mentally checking out, and emotionally disconnecting.)

It’s so hard to just be honest with one another, and then come out of that time better for it, because we have been conditioned to believe if we don’t have anything nice to say we shouldn’t say anything at all.

But that’s not biblical.

Jesus didn’t call us to always act as if everything is ok. And He didn’t either.

With His own life He showed us what it looks like to speak bold Truth, undergirded by big love.

He showed us how to pause when we are frustrated. (Yes, Jesus got frustrated too! So that means it’s not a sin. It’s just what follows our frustrations sometimes can be.) (Matthew 11 holds one of my favorite passages- about the unforced rhythms of grace- but examine the section directly before that and you’ll find Jesus himself getting frustrated with people and having to avert His eyes from them for a moment, focus on His Father, and 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓃, resettled in love, proceed in His conversation with the people.)

From verses 20-27:
“Next Jesus unleashed…”
“Abruptly Jesus broke into prayer…”
“Jesus resumed talking to the people, but now tenderly…”

Wow! Isn’t that a beautiful and freeing example for us?

We don’t have to always feel good about situations or other people! (Shocking I know. 😯)

Sometimes our emotions are going to take the lead.

But we can learn to reign them back, without becoming resigned to force them down or hold them in or just leave because we can’t do either…and this, I believe, can only be done in the way Jesus did it. By calling upon a greater inner strength than we ourselves possess.

By asking for ℋℴ𝓁𝓎 𝒮𝓅𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓉 𝒽ℯ𝓁𝓅, God help, (and for us, Jesus help through the Holy Spirit) which for me sounds like:

“Jesus, I DON’T ‘got this’
but I know you have given me your Spirit
to help me and to walk it out with me,
so please give me your strength in this moment.

Please give me your 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓎𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝓅ℴ𝓌ℯ𝓇 to withstand everything the enemy is throwing at me that’s making me want to run.

Please give me your mind to see that my real battle is not against flesh and blood…(Ephesians 6:12)

Please harness my emotions to you in this moment so I can feel calm even before this storm of feelings passes.

Please show me how you’d have me proceed, because I want to stay where YOU want me stay, and go from where you want me to go. My own emotions are not a reliable guide. And I don’t know the future or what is down any of the paths, but you do, and I 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓈𝓉 you. 🤍”

——

Sometimes I get so exasperated with the emotions of human life, and life with other humans…

And I have found myself asking Him “Why?!?!”

“Why does this all have to be so hard???”

And last night I felt Him speak to my soul, something like:

“Strength training isn’t always easy.”

“If you never had the desire to leave any place, any relationship, or any challenge…you’d never have the opportunity to learn to draw on Me for my staying power…”

“I work in the beautiful 𝒶𝓃𝒹 in the brutal. I use it 𝒜ℒℒ for your training and your benefit!”

Wow. Who can argue with that??

God you are so refreshingly, breathtakingly, beautifully 𝒢𝒪𝒪𝒟! ☀️

In this season of life, I’ve had the opportunity to clean for a couple of families in order to help provide for our family while still keeping the flexibility we need in our schedule. I 𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 enjoy it! 💕

It started out as helping my mom with just one house after she got into a car accident. And now I’ve taken on one more who asked me if I could help out because it’s their family’s especially busy season.

One of the reasons I really enjoy this time is that it gives my introvert self a few hours of quiet, while I clean, to just sing praise music, or pour out my heart to God in prayer!

It’s a win-win, because after that time the client has a clean house and can feel less stressed, and not only does it help pay our bills, I feel like that time with God allows Him to “clean house” in me, in the spiritual “house” which is my heart and soul and mind.

———

My husband and I really enjoy providing hospitality to people in our home. I think it’s one of the spiritual gifts God has given us as a couple, to serve others with. It’s a 𝓅𝓁ℯ𝒶𝓈𝓊𝓇ℯ to host people for dinner, or coffee, and to chat! We always come out of that time feeling lighter and refreshed, for having shared it.

In the past few years, He has extended that to helping provide hospitality in our church home. Helping set the atmosphere, serving how we are needed, making others feel at home. And that has been a joy too!

And now- now I find myself learning about hospitality in a 𝓃ℯ𝓌 kind of way!

Until I began this work, I thought of cleaning houses only in the physical sense, but as I’ve begun, I’ve found it a unique opportunity to provide hospitality to another family, in their own home.

Who doesn’t like, when on vacation, to come back to a refreshed room — beds made, clutter cleared, floors swept, bathroom sanitized? 🪴

It’s part of the mental break!

Extending that into your own home is a great way to bring some refreshment even when you can’t get away on vacation!

I remember as a momma working 40+ hours a week, how much I would have loved to have someone help me with laundry 🧺 which always felt like my arch enemy lol.

At one point, even while working from home, I did have a friend I paid to come do only that. Just to help me fold laundry so I didn’t feel like “folding the towel” before it was time and calling it quits.

Sometimes we all just need a little help lightening our load. 💕

———

But anyway, the cleaning itself isn’t why I’m writing this post, which has been on my mind for weeks now. Rather, it’s the spiritual refreshment I want to talk about.

Have you ever heard the phrase “be kind to your own mind”? ☀️

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for your mind, your spiritual “house”, is to invite someone in to clean it up.

Do you ever get so overwhelmed by your thoughts that it’s hard to function?

Do the worries of this life ever pile up like dirty dishes on your counter?

Does the “dirty laundry” that you don’t want to air out, (and rightfully so because it is never a good idea to just vent on social media), pile up because in your aim to not vent you simply don’t share about your struggles 𝒶𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝓁?

Does your mental to-do list ever pile up to the point you feel trapped in your own mind, like you’re living in a mental hoarder-house of sorts?

I have some good news for you today, if so!
There’s help available!

There’s Someone who 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉𝓈 to come in and clear those things away periodically (and as often as you need!)

There’s someone who doesn’t mind scrubbing your residual guilt away, and adorning your “home” with the gift of ℊℴℴ𝒹 & 𝒷ℯ𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒾𝒻𝓊𝓁 thoughts! 💕

His name is Jesus!

———

The thing about a clean and refreshed home is…we can feel more 𝒶𝓉 𝒽ℴ𝓂ℯ in it. And we can help others feel more at home with us there too!

The same goes for our spiritual houses.

We not only feel so much better when we regularly have the junk and the residue cleaned out of our minds and hearts, but we become so much more hospitable and approachable and welcoming to others around us too!

When we take the time to 𝓉𝒶𝓀ℯ fresh breaths of Spirit-air, we find others sharing that when they’re around us it feels like a fresh breath of air! (And we know that has nothing to do with our own selves, and everything to do with the One who has come in and “kept house” for us! Praise God, He is a life saver!)

———

To me, it doesn’t feel like work that is “beneath me” to clean someone else’s toilets. (And that’s a work itself that God has done in me, because I’ll admit there was a time when I felt bitter about even having to be the one in ℴ𝓊𝓇 house whose duty it was to clean the toilets.)

But now, He has made this “burden” easy and light, as I focus not on the chores my body is doing but on what He is doing in refreshing my mind!

Now it feels like a joy to know that my simple tasks can truly lighten someone else’s load and make their day feel brighter and their home more fresh!

And when I write or we podcast to encourage, or simply communicate with people one on one to provide the same— that’s an honor and a privilege too!

It’s a joy to help others in the same way He helps me, sending icky thoughts out and welcoming fresh and beautiful ones in!

And it’s even more of a joy teaching others how to go directly to the Source of the best refreshment (Jesus) so that He can 𝒸ℴ𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝓊𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 renew and restore them!

What an opportunity!

Isn’t the Holy Spirit amazing?!

Who are we, that He is willing to come in and provide hospitality 𝓉ℴ 𝓊𝓈 {you, me, anyone who will accept it} in our own homes? ☀️ ☀️ ☀️

He constantly amazes me with grace!

If you’ve never had your spiritual house cleaned, simply 𝒶𝓈𝓀 Jesus about it today! Be honest about your mental messes and humble about needing His help. I know He would love to come in and do that for you! He is the BEST.

———

“At that time,” declares the Lord, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people…” “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” — Jeremiah‬ ‭31‬:‭ 1, 25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

This half-off Goodwill coffee mug ☕️ called my name this morning, when my daughter and I met some friends there to thrift shop. 💕

You can’t tell it from the picture, but it has a blue-ish tint, and a small bird on the backside, and bluebirds and positive words bring me great 𝒿ℴ𝓎, so for a few bucks I thought it well worth it to bring this home with me!

We checked out, and they wrapped it up in one of my other purchases: a zip-up hoodie for our girl, who came downstairs not long after we got home, sheepishly showing me how the handle of my mug had broken because it slipped out of the bag when she pulled her sweatshirt out, not knowing they had wrapped it up like that. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Needless to say, I wasn’t entirely happy about it.
I didn’t even get to use it o.n.e time!

I told her just to pitch it, and chalked the whole thing up as an unfortunate $2 loss, which for sure could have been worse.

But a half hour-ish later she came back downstairs after having used her nail glue to piece the broken handle bits back into place.

Not perfectly, as you can clearly see by the photo 😉 but lovingly.

And in that moment the word on the mug shone as brightly as the sun peeking from behind a cloud, calling all attention to it! ⛅️ ☀️

✨ ✨ ✨ 𝒥 𝒪 𝒴! ✨ ✨ ✨

What is the difference between happiness and joy, after all?

Happiness hinges upon everything being and happening perfectly. Just as planned. Or better than planned, even.

Happiness is what we feel when the weather is warm and the sun is shining.

But joy?
Joy outshines happiness.
Joy oozes out of a 𝒹ℯℯ𝓅ℯ𝓇 well,
into the atmosphere from the inside, out,
rather than relying on the outside to soothe the in.

Joy sees the imperfect,
the “accidents”,
the disappointments,
the dreary weather,
and says “So what? 🙃🙂 There’s still so much here to be thankful for!”

Joy feels the windy day, indeed,
and yet the Spirit-wind inside her blows with even more perisistence, until what would be grumbles about the weather give way to songs of gratitude instead.

For a moment, I really liked this like-new mug I found at the thrift shop.

In another moment, I thought it had become trash.

And then one moment later, I realized that God has helped me to turn it into a piece of art instead, so that I could drink of its message daily instead of drinking my coffee out of it once in awhile.

I think I’ll use it to hold some flowers this Spring!
𝒟ℴ𝓊𝒷𝓁ℯ joy that will be! 💐

Even better than I had planned!

I am going to be really raw with you here—

I don’t know about you but I find that I have always wanted so badly for someone, anyone, to always be happy with me.

To just love me for me-
Always show me love perfectly-
when I’m doing well and when I’m not.

I’ve tried so hard to be perfect in many areas of life, in a (mostly subconscious) attempt to receive this kind of love.

And I never understood until 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓂ℴ𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃ℊ, as I have been seeking God for help to break the people-pleasing tendencies in me that confine me…

I never understood until 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓅𝓇ℯ𝒸𝒾𝓈ℯ 𝓂ℴ𝓂ℯ𝓃𝓉, as I type this, that I was going about this affirmation-search all wrong.

NOT that it’s wrong to need affirmation.

It’s a legitimate desire,
actually a legitimate need-
to be affirmed, adored,
and even loved perfectly.

But we don’t have to-
we can’t –
be perfectly lovable.

Nor can any human love us perfectly.
( And neither can we perfectly love them.)

But 𝒾𝓃 𝒥ℯ𝓈𝓊𝓈, we can receive 𝒸ℴ𝓃𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓉, 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝒻ℯ𝒸𝓉 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ & 𝒶𝒻𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓂𝒶𝓉𝒾ℴ𝓃! Both from Him and from the Father!

So today I want to share a little bit of what God spoke to my heart, for me, in case it helps anyone else out there struggling with this hunger for love.

(And let me assure you, we 𝒶𝓁𝓁 do- whether single or married, whether our friend group has zero members or a close few or a couple hundred! We ALL hunger for more, because we were created with a God-sized hole in our hearts that nothing and no one else can completely fill.)

—————

So here is what He said:

We are born with this inclination to please…but we need to be taught where to direct it.

We first tend to direct it towards parents (Daddy are you proud? Momma were you watching? Did you see what I did? Did I make you happy?)

Then teachers.

Then peers.

Later- our spouse (Do you see me? Do I please you? Can you tell me if I’m doing a good job loving you? If I’m not let me know so I can do better. I want to please you. It’s a JOY to know I bring you joy!)

& Even our kids (Deep down I’m afraid I’m failing you. Can you tell me you love me? Can you tell me I’m a good mom so I know that I’m not a screw-up? Can you tell me that you know you are loved, so I know the love I’m pouring on you is sinking in?)

The problem is – that “pleasing pull” was never meant to be attached to other people but to God.

People’s opinions of us are so fickle.

Sometimes they’re accurate.

Sometimes we need to listen to constructive criticism or encouragement, because God can use people to speak to us.

But ALWAYS we need to go to Him for that need.

Because sometimes people 𝒶𝓇ℯ𝓃’𝓉 accurate in their assessments of us.

They don’t have all the background of our past and our situation, they don’t know all the details of our circumstance, they don’t know our hearts- like know it better than our own self does, which is – I believe- 𝓌𝒽𝓎 we were wired like this anyway.

It’s a self-checking-apparatus,
a soul-checking method,
designed to keep us aligned…(think of it like your spine.)

But if we keep trying to line ourselves up so we can feel right – by looking to everyone and their brother- we will be pulled here there and everywhere and more of a mess than ever! (Can you imagine how painful it would be if each of your vertebrae turned a different way? 😬)

That’s why we are supposed to learn to go ONE place for our self-check. (And it’s not self.)

Only HE can align us.

Because He MADE us.

Because He knows us inside and out,
better than anyone,
better than we know ourselves.

Because He knows every intricate detail
of our circumstances,
our hearts,
our past/present/and future,
our personality traits,
our fears and our dreams,
our hurts and our hopes;
AND He knows all these things about the other people we are in relationship with too!

And that’s another thing-

Sometimes people can’t assess us accurately because they’re seeing us through a lens of their own self.

If they’re not called to something, they can’t always see how we would be either.

If they’ve failed at something they may instinctively not want to see us succeed,

and if they’ve succeeded sometimes they don’t understand how anyone else might fail. 🤷🏼‍♀️

People are people.
And that’s precisely the problem.

It’s time to let people be people in our hearts, and let God be God.

—————

When I was a teen, I had braces.
My teeth were crazy crooked, actually, so I also had spacers, retainers and even head gear.

Yes. Yes I was embarrassed and frustrated.
But looking back I’m so grateful for that investment my parents made in my smile.

And it was an investment-
it cost them a decent chunk of money.

But it also included one thing that I haven’t heard of many other people having done after braces:

A procedure which cut the invisible-to-the-naked-eye ties that are in our gums, kind of like ligaments, which would have tried to pull my teeth back into their crooked positions once my braces were off.

The way the orthodontist explained it, when those ties are cut through this procedure, they have the opportunity to reconnect to the teeth in this straightened position, and it will be as if the teeth were always straight after that! A “reset” if you will! So the ligaments will work to keep the teeth straight instead of trying to tug back to their former crooked positions.

———

This is the memory that God used to show me how my people-pleasing & perfectionism tendencies will be healed.

And this is what He said to me after He brought up that story:

It’s time cut the ties of people pleasing, and let those ties attach firmly back to Me where they’ve always belonged.

How? Let the Doctor do it. (Me, God. I am the Great Physician after all.) All you have to do is ask.

———

Remember- when we have taken Jesus as our Savior, we are 𝒶𝒹ℴ𝓅𝓉ℯ𝒹 into the family as God’s children. And we are given all the same privileges as blood-children, because we 𝓌ℯ𝓇ℯ brought in by His BLOOD. 🩸

When God looks at us who are in Jesus, He sees us through the lens of Jesus – not of our own flawed selves.

So you know that verse in Mark (1:11) that says “and a voice came from heaven: “You are My beloved Son; in You I am well pleased” ?

As we 𝓇ℯ𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓃 in Jesus by simply doing our best each day to walk in relationship with Him and in obedience to Him, ℯ𝓋ℯ𝓃 𝒾𝒻 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒽ℯ𝓃 𝓌ℯ 𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓈𝒽ℴ𝓇𝓉, this is what God says to us…because He sees Jesus all over us:

“You are my beloved child; in you I am well pleased.” ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

———

But trying on our own, we could never be good enough to please God… we can’t even please mere people all the time. And trying to is ℯ𝓍𝒽𝒶𝓊𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃ℊ isn’t it?

That’s the Good News, in an essence, {it’s so so many things, but this is a wonderful part of it!}

➡️ We CAN make somebody happy all the time!

➡️Which means we can experience the pleasure of having someone happy with us 𝒜ℒℒ the time! 💗

But it has nothing to do with what we do,
or even who we are…
and everything to do with 𝒲ℋ𝒪𝒮ℰ 𝓌ℯ 𝒶𝓇ℯ,
& Who is 𝒾𝓃 𝓊𝓈, doing the pleasing!

———

Jesus allows us to receive the Father’s pleasure that was directed at Him! 😯

Isn’t that mind blowing?!

Isn’t that perfectionism-busting?

Because of Jesus’s sin-cleansing offering, the Father NEVER sees us as “dirtied” or flawed if we have chosen to bathe in Him.

And there’s NO dirt His blood can’t wash! No stain His sacrifice can’t treat!

There’s nothing we can do to make God love us any more or any less.

(His infinite, unconditional love was shown by His willingness to send Jesus to that cross.)

But He doesn’t force it on us.

So the question is: will we 𝓇ℯ𝒸ℯ𝒾𝓋ℯ it?

Not just salvation. (Though that’s primarily and eternally important of course.)

➡️Will we receive His affirmation, & His adoration, that our souls are starving for?

➡️Will we ask Him to help us stop searching for or settling for those things (or numbness to the need for them) in other places?

➡️Will we ask Him to show us how to not only take Jesus as our savior, but take Him deep into our hearts where He can fill ℯ𝓋ℯ𝓇𝓎 need, every deficiency, and every place of emptiness and hunger and ache that we have?

———

Salvation is only just the start of the wonderful things God wants to do in our lives and in our hearts.

So many years into my journey, yet He 𝓃ℯ𝓋ℯ𝓇 𝒸ℯ𝒶𝓈ℯ𝓈 to amaze me and continually teach me and bless me with His love!

And that’s exactly why I can’t NOT share it.

I want everyone to be pleased ** 𝒷𝓎 𝒢ℴ𝒹 ** too!

The last two weeks we have opened up the sanctuary in our church to offer time just to soak in God’s presence.

I know I can hear from Him at home but there’s just something wonderful about reserving that time and place, preparing and showing up ready to hear from Him, and 𝓀𝓃ℴ𝓌𝒾𝓃ℊ that He will show up too, and speak to me…

Since these nights were originally going to happen in my living room, and since I also imagine that I’m standing on Holy Ground… I have “made myself at home” this week and last, by removing my shoes and walking around, kneeling at the altar, and pacing the floors, sock and feet.

Walking out of the sanctuary for a moment to refill my coffee, I suddenly felt an old emotion wash over me. Like being a college kid still “at home” in their parents’ home.

I walked back into the now-empty sanctuary and sat back down in the rows, not ready to leave yet.

“Lay down” I heard.

“Lose ALL the formalities and let yourself be even more at home with me- even outside your home. I want to show you something.”

So- I laid down across the row of chairs.
It was certainly the first time it ever occurred to me to do that before!

At first it felt… unnatural.

So I closed my eyes.
(Zoomed into my “inner home” where I’m always comfortable with Him.)

Focused on the music.

Let myself get comfortable.

When I opened my eyes, I saw a fan.

I don’t know if I’ve ever paid attention to the fact that there was a ceiling fan in our sanctuary, truth be told.

But in this moment it made it seem even more like a living room.

I was taken back to my freshman year of college, with so many pressures on me throughout the week:

School work that seemed beyond my own comprehension.

A wedding to plan.

A future to build.

The weight of my hopes and dreams and of my world on my shoulders, or so it felt like.

But some weekends, I would simply drive home, toss off my shoes, and sink into the old familiar couch in my parents’ living room.

Fall deep asleep, as if I’d tossed my backpack of worries down and for just a little while, I could take a break from carrying them.

In this moment, in the sanctuary, this is exactly what it felt like too.

(Admittedly, I can go too long sometimes…

carrying it all, worrying about it all,

wondering if I’m doing my work right…
my wifing & mothering work,
the homemaking & homeschooling,
the ministry work & the other odd jobs,

wondering what the future will hold…)

Sometimes I think I even forget to breathe,
until He reminds me.

Sometimes I forget that I’m not supposed to be carrying these things FOR Him, but TO Him and WITH Him.

Sometimes I forget to take a moment to simply be carried BY Him, and held by Him.

As I laid there on His “couch” {across a row of chairs there in the sanctuary} that’s exactly what He gave me:

A moment of simply 𝒷ℯ𝒾𝓃ℊ.
𝒩ℴ𝓉 𝒹ℴ𝒾𝓃ℊ, 𝓃ℴ𝓉 ℴ𝓋ℯ𝓇-𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀𝒾𝓃ℊ,
but simply being held by Him.

And as I got up, rested and refreshed, unaware of what time it was or how long I had been there…and I gathered my things from the emptied sanctuary to leave, I heard this:

“I have at least thirty-seven other ‘couches’ here, available for any of my other children who need to take a pause from adulting and just come home {to ME} and rest… Keep putting the invitation out there.”

And encouraging others who are too far away from the sanctuary you visit, to do this at their own churches or their own homes.

It’s not as much about the space you are in, but the place your heart is in, and the place in your heart you give Him.

So that’s what I’m doing: continuing to invite people into His presence.

No need to talk.
No need to do anything.
It’s a time to just come, and 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒷ℯ.
At home.
Unburdened.
Held.

He is the BEST.

So last night we had our first open-church night.

It was hard and it was good, all at the same time.

Hard because the seats were mostly empty, and it felt like when you plan your kid a birthday party and barely anyone shows up.

Ever had that happen or been scared of that happening?

You feel disappointed because you’re afraid they’re going to feel less loved;

you feel insufficient in yourself to fill up that empty space

and then you feel guilty because it was you who created that empty space to begin with, so you believe that their emptiness is, in fact, your fault.

Just being totally authentic, this is how I started out feeling last night.

(To give a little background, God laid it on our hearts to have an “open house” and invite people in to the worship time with God that we have come to love. A “just be”ing with Him, and praise music, and coffee and each other. Originally the vision was to do it in our own living room, but our pastors invited us to do it at our church to make room for more people who may want to come.)

So as I was sitting there, eyes closed and head bowed, so that I didn’t have to see the empty rows…and feeling lots of icky feelings that I didn’t want to feel— God met me there and helped me to sort them all out.

It started off with Him reminding me of something I used to tell my bag-party-hostesses back in the day: “Don’t be afraid of nobody showing up, because EVERY gathering has purpose, and even if it’s just me and you it’s going to be great!” {And in fact, there were a few like that, and they always were still great because my hostesses and I just got to take time visiting with each other.}

So then I moved from being sad that people weren’t there for Him, bringing the glory of a full sanctuary to Him, helping us to demonstrate how loved He is by numbers…to being sad that they weren’t there – for 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓂.

God is so amazing, so filling, so healing, so restoring, so reviving, so perfectly suited to meet every need in us, that it literally hurts to see people missing out. And especially to see them missing out because they’re over-extended, drained, and in need of restoration… it would be like watching someone die of thirst, while having a room of bottled waters right next to them. It’s exasperating. I don’t know how to describe it other than that. My heart aches to see other hearts filled and replenished.

On top of these things, there was confusion. “God, if you knew only a few would come, why didn’t we just have this in my living room? Should I have stuck to that?”

But- 2 of the 7 were new to the church and wouldn’t have come if it were in my living room. And 2 matter! So I knew the answer to that one right away.

However, what I didn’t know is what God was about to whisper to my heart about my own self. This is what He said:

“Daylene, you’ve always loved worshipping me in small spaces. You’ve always felt most intimate with me there.

Your living room.
Your camper.
Your car.
Even your closet.

And that is because you are picturing me as having the properties of a gas… expanding to fill whatever space I’m given.

So it’s like (unconsciously) you are drawn to small spaces partly because I feel more “concentrated” there.

And you are upset, a little, that you’ve taken your worship time into this bigger, “emptier” space.

You don’t get upset to worship in a bigger space when there are more people, because you imagine that more of Me shows up,
so the concentration of me is the same or greater in a big room with lots of people as it is your small space with just me and you…

But there is something today that I want to teach you:

I am not gas, I am God!

I fill from the inside out, not the outside in.

My presence doesn’t “spread out” in sparsely populated places so that I’m less concentrated, and “concentrate” in a packed place…
I breathe fresh air from the inside.

It’s not the size of the ROOM you worship in,
or how many people are in that room,
it’s how much room you give me IN 𝒴𝒪𝒰.

I will 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 “expand” to fill whatever room each person gives me in 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓂𝓈ℯ𝓁𝓋ℯ𝓈!”

❤️❤️❤️

Would a sanctuary full of people be thrilling?

Yes!

It’s exciting when we see multitudes worshipping Him above all the other busyness and things in their lives!

It’s exciting to see Him glorified and to feel like a part of something much bigger than ourselves when others “get it” and long to spend time with Him corporately {and individually} too!

It’s exciting watching new people worship, especially, because it’s like watching a toddler’s face full of wonder! It’s wonderful!

It’s like a mother delighting in watching her children love on their father, when we see our youth worshipping God, their Father in heaven. It brings 𝒾𝓃𝒹ℯ𝓈𝒸𝓇𝒾𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓁ℯ joy to witness that kind of worship, because it’s so fitting, so 𝓇𝒾ℊ𝒽𝓉— in this often so-so-wrong world.

But as far as the filling?

It’s exactly like I used to tell my hostesses-

There’s good in ℰ𝒱ℰℛ𝒴 gathering!

He always fills the ones who show up.

Not based on the size of the room.

But based on how much room they give Him, in themselves, for Him to move. ✝️

———————

There’s a song I used to sing at church camp as a kid, that came back to me just now. I’ll share it here. It’s my prayer. 🙏🏻

“Spirit of the Living God
fall fresh on me.

Spirit of the Living God
fall fresh on me.

Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me

Spirit of the Living God
fall fresh on me…”

I prayed that last night and He DID.
He 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 does.
Better than 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃ℊ in the world.

“Why do you separate your bananas?” 🍌 🍌
the Spirit asked me, in inner-dialogue the other day, as I was putting away groceries I had just brought home from the store.

Of course He knew the answer,
but the purpose was to prod me into thought about it…and the deeper reason behind the question…

So I answered…

“Because if they stay together, they’ll ripen too fast. I want to slow the process down.”

🤔

Hmmm.

Really was some “food” for thought 😉
{pun totally intended here because y’all know I love a good pun!}

But for real- there are some real spiritual parallels here!

Have you ever considered the great lengths the enemy has gone to, in this world, to keep Christians from getting too close to each other or to others, so we won’t be “ripe” and ready for Jesus’s arrival?!

• 2020 and COVID: literal separation, literal masks hiding our faces and our emotions, 6 foot distancing in public, churches forced to meet online instead of in person
• Now habit: some have gone so long without meeting in person for worship and study that it’s their new norm. But we can’t practice Christlikeness and service well, apart from His Church. So not as much ripening is happening it seems.
• Busyness: my husband and I have speculated on this SO much. I don’t know exactly when the change happened, but youth sports went from being recreational to being essential for most people, and from being seasonal to CONTINUAL. All sports seems to – at least by the high school level- practice during ALL seasons, and it’s not enough to be in one there’s pressure to do them ALL, and be all in all we do. School leagues, additional rec leagues, travel leagues, all-star leagues. Where will it end?! And it’s not just sports. It’s other stuff too. Even essential stuff like work, but working for a fullness instead of from it so that we are constantly trying to fill an empty tank. And all of this filling is keeping us from the One who truly wants to and CAN fill us better than anything!

So the deeper question I’m pondering now is why?

Why so much increased effort on the enemy’s part to keep us (church families) in our own separate lives?

It feels obvious but I also don’t know how I feel about stating it. I’m not really a fan of ruffling feathers, but here goes. {God please give me boldness and courage to speak Truth in a spirit of Love… 🙏🏻}:

Perhaps the time is getting shorter.
(I don’t know when the end will be of course. Nobody does. But the signs are starting to show that this world is getting closer to harvest season.)

When that time comes for harvest,
only the ripe-
only the ready-
will get to enter into His Kingdom.

(I’m not saying that because I want it to be true, I’d prefer that everyone get to go. I’m saying it because it IS true, and because I want everyone to know they have a choice to go. And because it feels ultra important – even if uncomfortable- to point out that we are often choosing, moment by moment, to be so busied in other areas of life that we forget about our Kingdom lives here and the eternal life that will follow.)

Nothing can separate us from the love of God, it’s true.
EXCEPT OURSELVES.

So this post may be controversial and for me it’s certainly uncomfortable. But I feel like He is asking me to pose the question today- {though it’s none of my business for whom, I’m not pointing fingers or prodding here, only obeying and asking}—

What, if anything, is keeping you from being ripe and ready for harvest?

What is keeping you from gathering together, with other believers, and worshipping together?

Is there something else in your life taking up all your time, that maybe you’re worshipping instead, even if you’d never call it that?

(Looking back in different seasons of our life there DEFINITELY were things keeping our priorities misaligned, that we had to submit to Him to be put in their places or removed entirely. Was it comfortable? No. Did we have FOMO? Of course. But has there been spiritual blessing on the other side of that? YES! And it’s been worth every bit of it!)

What is keeping you from spending quality personal time with God?

If Jesus came back tomorrow,
would He say that you know Him (have an intimate personal and currently active relationship with Him) and invite you into Heaven?

Or would He say- I never knew you…

Or would He say- I used to know you, and I’ve missed you. I wish you would have stayed close to me…

(Don’t answer this aloud for me now, I’m not asking you to reveal yourself to me. I am only writing this to help others self-reflect, as we have had to do and still have to do, over and over in our walk with Him, so that if anyone needs to make some adjustments to their priorities or their calendars, or pray for Him to make some adjustments to their hearts- they can. Before it’s too late.)

One day, the end will come.
Every day, is someone’s last.

But Jesus says that if we love HIM with all our hearts, souls, minds, strength… (all our time, energy, affection)… and if we make Him the Lord {boss} of our lives, then death won’t have the last laugh.

I’ve seen too many deaths in my newsfeed lately.

The only comfort in that is when we know that we know someone was living for Him, because then we know they are living (eternally) WITH Him in Heaven.

And that’s what we want for everyone, in and beyond our friends’ list. ❤️

I even want it enough to risk someone unfollowing me because I’ve offended them.

Even though if you know me you know that I’d prefer everyone feel loved by me and comforted, not offended.

This world is going bananas, y’all. 🍌
We need a peace more secure than this world has to offer.

I tried this craft for the first time yesterday with my preschool class. It turned out to be super simple and really beautiful! 💞

And of course, it reminded me of the spiritual too.

God chooses for his kingdom not the “perfect” crayons but the broken ones.

Maybe freshly broken and hurting,
or maybe after we have been broken awhile and have decided to look on the bright side and say that “broken crayons 🖍️ still color.”

For whatever reason, God doesn’t see our brokenness as making us inferior, but SUPERior— (not in a prideful way, but as in ready for the picking! Ready to be turned into something even better than an intact single color!)

He picks us up and peels off our labels.

This can be a tedious process, (as our preschoolers learned.)

It can be hard to be patient, in that process.

Some of us like our labels and don’t want to let go of them.

Some of us hate our labels and want to shed them but they feel stuck onto us, like there’s no way they’re going to come off.

But God always succeeds in the ones who will allow Him to.

Also, He sticks us together with other broken crayons who have had their labels removed.

This is church.

We sit in the son-shine and He melts our hearts, blurs our differences. Makes us into something more colorful than we could have ever been on our own.

Of course we must go out into the real world too. This is the cold atmosphere that forces us to stick together, (sometimes going through the hard things together binds us best, doesn’t it?)

While we may not understand any of this while it’s happening, eventually we will see it.

We will recognize that He has made us into a part of something beautiful!

That He has gifted us the opportunity to go color a 𝓉𝓇𝓊ℯ rainbow- a sign of ℋℐ𝒮 goodness and faithfulness and promises- on the world around us.

His ways are so different from ours.
But He is love.

So. Much. ℒ𝒪𝒱ℰ!

——
FromFull.com