The last two weeks we have opened up the sanctuary in our church to offer time just to soak in God’s presence.
I know I can hear from Him at home but there’s just something wonderful about reserving that time and place, preparing and showing up ready to hear from Him, and 𝓀𝓃ℴ𝓌𝒾𝓃ℊ that He will show up too, and speak to me…
Since these nights were originally going to happen in my living room, and since I also imagine that I’m standing on Holy Ground… I have “made myself at home” this week and last, by removing my shoes and walking around, kneeling at the altar, and pacing the floors, sock and feet.
Walking out of the sanctuary for a moment to refill my coffee, I suddenly felt an old emotion wash over me. Like being a college kid still “at home” in their parents’ home.
I walked back into the now-empty sanctuary and sat back down in the rows, not ready to leave yet.
“Lay down” I heard.
“Lose ALL the formalities and let yourself be even more at home with me- even outside your home. I want to show you something.”
So- I laid down across the row of chairs.
It was certainly the first time it ever occurred to me to do that before!
At first it felt… unnatural.
So I closed my eyes.
(Zoomed into my “inner home” where I’m always comfortable with Him.)
Focused on the music.
Let myself get comfortable.
When I opened my eyes, I saw a fan.
I don’t know if I’ve ever paid attention to the fact that there was a ceiling fan in our sanctuary, truth be told.
But in this moment it made it seem even more like a living room.
I was taken back to my freshman year of college, with so many pressures on me throughout the week:
School work that seemed beyond my own comprehension.
A wedding to plan.
A future to build.
The weight of my hopes and dreams and of my world on my shoulders, or so it felt like.
But some weekends, I would simply drive home, toss off my shoes, and sink into the old familiar couch in my parents’ living room.
Fall deep asleep, as if I’d tossed my backpack of worries down and for just a little while, I could take a break from carrying them.
In this moment, in the sanctuary, this is exactly what it felt like too.
(Admittedly, I can go too long sometimes…
carrying it all, worrying about it all,
wondering if I’m doing my work right…
my wifing & mothering work,
the homemaking & homeschooling,
the ministry work & the other odd jobs,
wondering what the future will hold…)
Sometimes I think I even forget to breathe,
until He reminds me.
Sometimes I forget that I’m not supposed to be carrying these things FOR Him, but TO Him and WITH Him.
Sometimes I forget to take a moment to simply be carried BY Him, and held by Him.
As I laid there on His “couch” {across a row of chairs there in the sanctuary} that’s exactly what He gave me:
A moment of simply 𝒷ℯ𝒾𝓃ℊ.
𝒩ℴ𝓉 𝒹ℴ𝒾𝓃ℊ, 𝓃ℴ𝓉 ℴ𝓋ℯ𝓇-𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀𝒾𝓃ℊ,
but simply being held by Him.
And as I got up, rested and refreshed, unaware of what time it was or how long I had been there…and I gathered my things from the emptied sanctuary to leave, I heard this:
“I have at least thirty-seven other ‘couches’ here, available for any of my other children who need to take a pause from adulting and just come home {to ME} and rest… Keep putting the invitation out there.”
And encouraging others who are too far away from the sanctuary you visit, to do this at their own churches or their own homes.
It’s not as much about the space you are in, but the place your heart is in, and the place in your heart you give Him.
So that’s what I’m doing: continuing to invite people into His presence.
No need to talk.
No need to do anything.
It’s a time to just come, and 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒷ℯ.
At home.
Unburdened.
Held.
He is the BEST.
From Full 