Despite my best planning, the groceries were gone and the day had passed quickly and the kids were getting hangry- so I took them to Burger King for a cheeseburger đ. {My littlest guyâs FAVORITE!}
As I am trying to order our lunch, little guy rolls down his window and also attempts to open up his door, so he can talk to the person in the speaker, say hello, and order his own food. Except he was doing so so loudly that they couldnât hear me ordering, and the line behind us was quickly growing, which as I noticed this made me grow more impatient with him.
We pull up to pay and I roll down his window for him, because it does usually make peopleâs day in the drive-thru when a toddler with a giant smile tells them hello!
And it did. The guy at the window grinned ear to ear. And then he told me to wait a minute. {A minute turned into three, four.} Finally he came back. With three Burger King crowns. One for my son and one for my nephew who was also in the backseat. A third for my daughter who is way too old for a crown but it makes her smile, even if a bit baffled, that he thought of her too. đ
I smile too because it was super thoughtful, and I go to reach for them, as I also feel eyes from the truck behind me glaring and my imagination tells me theyâre probably muttering for me to hurry up already.
But the man insists on assembling the crowns for us, guesstimating the boysâ sizes, telling them what great kings they will be that day!
And in that moment I realize that my soul needs some work.
That I need to learn to hold on to my peace and our new-to-us easygoing pace, even when I feel pressured to pick up the speed- {because much of the world likes to keep things moving fast.}
I almost rushed this moment not because it wasnât precious but because I imagined that other people were running out of patience with us for it.
Whether that was true or not I never will know.
But what I do know is that we found a rare treasure of an example that day, in the older gentleman at that drive-thru window.
An example of how, even when the pressure to perform at lightning speed is presentâŚwe can choose to pause the cry of âurgentâ for a moment, and embrace important- for a minute. Or three or four, at least. đ
Sometimes thatâs all it takes.
Just a few minutes.
To remind someone else of what really matters.
To show them THEY matter.
What King-like kindness and love that is! â¤ď¸
And how divine that we found it in a most unexpected place!
I have sensed His presence so much lately and as I was basking in it today I did my best to put it into words. {Though words always fall short.}
But I want everyone to know Him. Not just Father, Not just Son, But Holy Spirit also.
God is Trinity, Three-in-One, yet with very different roles.
For a long time I paused in my sharing about Him, because I was insecure.
I am not a theologian.
I donât know Hebrew or Greek or the nuances between all the present words and all the original texts of the Bible.
I donât have huge chunks of scripture memorized.
I still count on my Bible and the Spirit to guide me, and I still call upon leaders who are further along in their faith journeys to pray alongside me and help me clarify when any confusion comes up and I want to make sure I didnât hear wrong.
Some days when God nudges me to share something I resist.
I give Him excuses like âThey have heard that before.â
Or âSo and so says it so much better.â
Or âThis is something your Spirit prompted in me, itâs not talked about in the Bible {though it does align with Biblical Truth and what others have testified and what I have experienced over many years of walking with you}âŚbut Iâm afraid that some may pick it apart and call me a false prophet.â
And then He reminds me- that no matter how many times we have heard something, sometimes we all need another encouraging reminder. {Lol. The irony that He was giving this to me as He was telling me to give it to others wasnât lost on me.}
He reminds me that- All the books in the world couldnât begin to describe His awesomeness, but the testimonies burn holes on our insides if we donât try! đĽ Theyâre too good to keep in! Theyâve gotta go somewhere!
He reminds me that- Iâm not claiming to be a prophet. Iâm not claiming to be a theological expert. Iâm not trying to be anything Iâm not. I literally just like the song- am just a nobody, trying to tell everybody, all about the Somebody who saved {and keeps saving} my soul. đś
So- here goes- let me tell you about Him. Just a glimpse of the Holy Spirit part. Just a facet of His indescribable-as-a-whole personality. In my own words.
He is PRESENT.
PALPABLE.
You can FEEL HIM.
Do you know that feeling when your eyes are closed and youâre sitting alone in a room, and someone else joins you, and you know it?
And without even opening your eyes you may even be able to distinguish which family member of yours it is.
Or if youâre in a public place you can sense if a stranger has joined you in the space, and maybe even sense a vibe they are giving offâŚ
I can sense Him like this.
Many people can.
He wants you to be able to as well.
Family.
He feels like family.
In the VERY BEST SENSE of that word. {Or if you donât have a good experience with family, imagine what you wished they would have felt like. This is Him.}
Holy Spirit helps as our Comforter. Our Guide. The Communicator. The Connector.
God is Heavenly Father.
The Church is the Bride of Christ, so Jesus- I have learned to relate to as my Heavenly Husband.
Faith isnât about feelings â that is true, But one thing I feel like many churches neglect sharing is that FEELINGS VERY OFTEN {but not always} FOLLOW FAITH.
The Holy Spirit helps us FEEL Full-Filled. God says that we have all we need in Him, which is great, I put faith in this. {And some days it takes more faith to believe this than others!} But Holy Spirit- when I ask Him to- helps me FEEL IT.
Holy Spirit helps us feel Godâs Fatherly {Perfect Parental} love.
This can help us at times when we need our parents and they canât be there. For instance, sometimes I still need my Dad or my Grandpa, but they are in Heaven. When I really need that sense of Dad-love, Iâve learned I can just ask. And I donât know how to describe how He does it, but He fills me. Like a warm hug. I can sense Him there.
This kind of love, where you can come to Him like a child climbs up on their parentâs lap and just meltsâŚ
The kind of rest that feels childlike and just trusts that Dadâs got itâŚ
Like- Heâs in the driver seat, so Iâm not afraid of traffic.
Like- Heâs got the finances covered so Iâm not afraid of lackâŚ.
Even when I quite literally AM in the driverâs seat and anxious,
or AM responsible for our familyâs finances and wonder how ends are going to meet and I feel nervous about thatâŚ
He comes in when I ask Him to be with me in it,
And I feel an inexplicable peace,
that even if my involvement is necessary, even if I do have to drive on a four-Lane highway, or even if I do have to do a job,
HE is with me and helping me
and Iâm not going through it alone.
âAdultingâ is hard, but mainly because we believe we have to carry the weight of our entire families on our shoulders.
And we donât. We arenât alone. Itâs not all on us.
It feels like it, until we realize Heâs got US in His hands.
Our Heavenly Dadâs got us. What a weight that lifts!
ââââ Holy Spirit also helps us feel Jesusâs husbandly {Perfect Partner} love.
Iâve seen this help in so many ways.
In my own life, when I got pregnant with our last baby after five losses, I felt a tremendous amount of anxiety and fear.
Every time I would go to the bathroom.
Every time I got ready for an ultrasound or appointment.
Every time I felt a pain in my stomach, which inevitably happens as your belly stretches to be able to accommodate the growing baby.
If youâve experienced miscarriage, you know what I mean.
I wasnât able to call my human husband at work every time it was time for a bathroom break, for comfort.
He wasnât able to take a day off for every single appointment, which because of my high-risk was every two weeks and required four hours drive time back and forth.
He wasnât able to talk me down every single time I felt panicked. Iâm sure there were times he was freaking out inside too. We are both human.
One day I heard the Holy Spirit tell me to call upon Jesus instead. To ask Holy Spirit to help me feel Him with me.
He said – and Iâll never forget-
âOne husband got you pregnant, and the other Husband, your Heavenly Husband, will keep you that way. We will walk you through all your fears. Just like we walked you through your grief.â
That was the first time I ever related to Jesus as a husband-figure.
But since then, itâs come in handy so much.
Itâs taken the pressure off of my marriage to Brett, because sometimes Iâll be honest- I can be needy.
Sometimes as a stay at home mom, I NEED to talk to a grown-up. And sometimes when my husband gets home he is wiped and he listens his best but his capacity is limited.
When I converse with Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, it relieves my need to get some things off my chest and then I can share the âabbreviated / pre-processed versionâ with my husband when he comes home.
My husband is my best friend and I talk to him about everything. But there are times when our differences as woman and man create conflict and since I donât like venting to someone else about it, having the Holy Spirit so I can talk to Jesus about it AND get sound Biblical guidance has been a game-changer for our marriage!
And also- as a girl with the top love language of words and gifts- whose husbandâs love languages are NOT words and gifts, Holy Spirit helps with this too. He prompts my own spirit to see the gifts in the things my husband does do for me, and He fills me up with encouraging words of His own. He calls me beautiful, chosen, beloved. He shows me my husband feels this way about me even if he forgets to say it sometimes. And because Iâm secured in Jesusâs love, Iâm not so needy from my human husband- so I probably do act more lovely most of the time to him, than I used to when I depended on him to be the one to fill me up. He also helps me speak my husbandâs love language, and my kidsâ, better- because on my own itâs not natural.
Iâve also seen women who have lost their husbands- because of death, divorce, whatever the reason. Itâs a void thatâs hard to imagine. And certainly itâs not easy. But Iâve seen them cope and receive love, comfort, courage, peace, opportunities for provision, and all they need, day by day, by relying on Him.
ââ
Learning to depend on Him takes so much pressure off our human relationships- whether parents or spouses or children or friends or pastors.
NOBODY can full-fill us {fill us to fullness} like He can.
Expecting them to squeezes the life out of our relationships.
Expecting ourselves not to need full-filling- Trying to be ok without it, Or resigning ourselves to do without it from anyone {including Him} squeezes the life out of us.
Thankfully we have a God- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit- who can resurrect lifeless things!
As soon as we let go of these expectations we have of people and of ourselves and place our needs in His hands, and ask Him to help us feel Him we can begin to feel life flow back into us again!
And thatâs why I share these things like I do. Not because I claim to know it all. Nobody knows everything about God- He is too infinite for our finite brains to imagine!
But because I do know Him, personally, thanks to Holy Spirit!
And even growing up in church I never really understood that that was an option this side of heaven, or what it might look like.
And I just want to help others come to know Him too!
Because life is heavy. But having a friend- a Father- A Partner- Especially the One In Heavenly Places- Lightens the load!
ââ
âAre you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and youâll recover your life. Iâll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with meâwatch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I wonât lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and youâll learn to live freely and lightly.ââ ââMatthew⏠â11:28-30⏠âMSGâŹâŹ
âI still have many things to tell you, but you canât handle them now. But when the Friend comes, the Spirit of the Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is. He wonât draw attention to himself, but will make sense out of what is about to happen and, indeed, out of all that I have done and said. He will honor me; he will take from me and deliver it to you. Everything the Father has is also mine. That is why Iâve said, âHe takes from me and delivers to you.ââ ââJohn⏠â16:12-15⏠âMSGâŹâŹ
Do you have anxiety? Do you feel like youâre drowning? (In anything- bad or good??) This is for you.
Water and air. Itâs what heâs speaking to me so persistently about lately.
We are in this world, Christian friend.
But we are not OF this world.
It would be like us trying to live under the ocean and breathe water instead of air.
Ever catch yourself accidentally holding your breath? Not breathing deeply and relaxed?
When Iâm stressed out I notice I do this often. And he showed me why!
Even my BODY knows Iâm surrounding myself with water when I was designed to be in open air!
So when I go into stressed-out, busy, auto-pilot mode, my body naturally holds its breath because it doesnât WANT to breathe all that in.
I might enjoy swimming sometimesâŚexploring the underwater world. It can be beautiful! But I have to come up for air often. Or I have to take an oxygen tank with me.
Thatâs how life is.
We might enjoy #allthethings we are doing.
We might LOVE the brand of busy we created around us.
Or we may not.
We may feel we have to.
And maybe we are in a situation where that is true.
But it doesnât change the fact that busy depletes us.
If you are a born-again believer, you no longer can breathe in water. You are no longer OF this world, even though youâre still in it.
You NEED God to feel like youâre able to breathe.
And being in the world depletes our oxygen supply.
That leaves me with 2 options if I donât want to feel like Iâm drowning constantly:
1ď¸âŁGet out of the world often through fasting. Taking frequent social media breaks. And when I go back in, holding my breath while Iâm under water. Not trying to breathe in the affirmation of people or the toxic fumes of envy or pride, failure or success in the worldâs eyes.
2ď¸âŁStay connected to God, my oxygen tank, ALWAYS, in prayer. So I can do the work he purposed for me to do while only breathing HIM and his affirmation in.
When you know this, then even feeling like we are drowning can be a good thing. Because it reminds us to pause in our pursuits, and b.r.e.a.t.h.e. HIM in!
The other morning I had cranked our praise music up, and my toddler and I were dancing in the kitchen, belting out the words to the song and his interpretation came out wrong.
But also- it came out even better than right! âď¸
Here is how the song was supposed to go:
đľ Iâm praying, God come And turn this thing around God, turn it around God, turn it around God, turn it around
I’m calling on the name That changes everything, yes God, turn it around God, turn it around God, turn it around
All of my hope Is in the name The name of Jesus Breakthrough will come Come in the name The name of Jesus⌠God, turn it around God, turn it around God, turn it around
He is up to something He is up to something God is doing something right now He is moving mountains Making a way for someone God is doing something right nowâŚ
All of my hope Is in the name The name of Jesus breakthrough will come Come in the name The name of Jesus
God, turn it around Turn it around Turn it aroundâ đľ
And here is how my little one sang it:
đś đľ Iâm praying, God come And turn this thing around God, turn ME around God, turn ME around God, turn ME around
I’m calling on the name That changes everything, yes God, turn ME around God, turn ME around God, turn ME around
All of my hope Is in the name The name of Jesus Breakthrough will come Come in the name The name of Jesus⌠God, turn ME around God, turn ME around God, turn ME around
He is up to something He is up to something God is doing something right now He is moving mountains Making a way for someone God is doing something right nowâŚ
All of my hope Is in the name The name of Jesus breakthrough will come Come in the name The name of Jesus
God, turn ME around Turn ME around Turn ME aroundâ đľ
Heâs a toddler.
He had no idea what changing two letters would mean.
And I wouldnât have either if God didnât use the moment to point it out to me.
âItâ being the key to intercession in our relationships and in our personal situations.
Hereâs what God said to me, in this moment:
Pray like this, Daylene.
Ask me to turn YOU around.
To correct your perspective when it needs it.
To reposition your face toward me when you feel needy or the world feels dark so that you can receive the light and fullness that I have for you.
To help you remember- when your eyes are upon me- that I am BIG.
I am bigger than whatever it is that youâre praying about.
And I got it in my hands.
So you donât have to take matters into your own hands. Just hand it back to me!
Ask me to help you.
Ask me to turn it around, yes, instead of trying to turn it all around in your own.
Or resigning yourself to believe this is just how things are now and always will be.
HAVE FAITH for change! Take heart!
But first- because I love you, and I want for you to be at peace before this challenge even passes, ask me to turn YOU around.
So you can see me and feel me and KNOW that youâre not alone.
Humility brings results.
First, it brings you to me.
Then, because youâve come to me- you receive my fullness.
And, in the midst of that fullness, prayers that remain for others and for situations (Intercessions) also transformâŚ
from wanting the change for you to wanting fullness for them!
& wanting glory for Me. {God.}
No longer needing glory for yourself, or needing anyone elseâs behavior to change, before you can feel joy-full.
But freely filled, first, and pouring your heart out to me asking me to move on their behalf- to move in this world- to turn things back around⌠{yes, thatâs still important, I just wanted to take care of your heart first so you can pray FROM FULL instead of from fear.}
AMEN, JESUS. Holy Spirit, keep turning me around. â¤ď¸
Singing the song this way now, as a prayer:
đś đľ Iâm praying, God come And turn this thing around But first- God, turn me around God, turn me around God, turn me around
I’m calling on the name That changes everything, yes {change me first, God} Turn me around Turn me around Turn me around
All of my hope Is in the name The name of Jesus Breakthrough will come Come in the name The name of Jesus⌠God, turn us {our families} around God, turn us {our churches} around God, turn us {our country} around
God, please do something. God please move the mountains. God please make a way for all of us. All of our hope is in your name, Jesus. Breakthrough will come in your name, Jesus. God turn it around.
God, {start with me, and in each of us believers, and help us to pray, because change happens in the heart, and each heart must decide for themselves:} Turn me around Turn me around Turn me aroundâ đľ
When we plant a seed, there are processes immediately at work between that seed and the soil and water and sun, that unbeknownst to us are happening even before we see any indication that the plant is going to grow. I’ve not yet heard of anyone truly finding magic beans that grow into a huge beanstalk overnight, and if I did I’d be leery to sell the “family cow” to buy one because things grown overnight are rarely as wonderful and good-quality as the ones you wait for.
The finest wines are aged for decades.
Babies take 9 months to grow inside their mothers.
And I’m coming to realize that between the faith we plant in God’s promises and the time of getting to eat the fruit of those promises, there is always a wait.
Sometimes God gives me little pieces of knowledge before I actually know what I’m supposed to use it for, and I jot these words down knowing I’ll certainly need them later. Probably on multiple occasions.
A few years ago I wrote down these two thoughts:
*When you are pregnant, you do not want your baby to come too soon. That could be dangerous and even deadly. We must wait for our blessings until their due time. Only God knows the due date (of ALL we are waiting for).
*Discomfort can be a sign of a good thing on the way. When a mother is expecting, she often must go through morning sickness, breast pain, nausea, and the agony of childbirth. But she bears these things gladly knowing the rewards that will follow.
The road to our answered prayers is not easy.
Waiting is a painful part of the process, and so is the growing that we must go through to be ready.
It’s so easy to want our beans to grow overnight or want the “pregnancy” (the waiting period) to hurry up.
But if it did, what came from it would not be healthy.
So instead of praying for no wait, I’m realizing we need to pray for strength and peace DURING the wait.
ă°ď¸ă°ď¸ When I was in labor with my first son, it took over 24 hours because my body tensed up in pain. Even my epidural didn’t help. With my daughter and practicing relaxation techniques, it wasn’t quite as long and it definitely wasn’t as painful.
Perhaps if we force ourselves to look away from the pain, to relax even when everything inside us wants to curl up in a ball and tense up, just maybe the wait won’t be (or feel) as long. And it probably won’t be as painful either.
ă°ď¸ă°ď¸ă°ď¸ Letâs distract ourselves today by praising God BEFORE the breakthrough!
Praise him for the work he is doing under the surface!
Praise him for the processes happening that we cannot see, between the seed and the soil.
Even praise him for the fertilizer (whatever âpoopyâ situation we find ourselves in đŠ) that is going to help us grow in faith in HIM, instead of the false sense of security we are used to having in other things. ă°ď¸ă°ď¸ă°ď¸
Psalm 126:5-6 âThose who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.â ă°ď¸ă°ď¸ă°ď¸
The work God does within us while we wait is just as important as whatever we are waiting for. đ
I let my kids see their dad and I kiss, our love for each other.
We let them see us hold hands in the car, and on the couch, and on together-walks.
Occasionally, they may even see him playfully pinch me on the back side. Which is always followed by an âEeew! You guys! We are right here!â đ
But I think itâs important for kids to see their parents loving on each other. Itâs important for them to see the great parts of marriage. To see the romance, the joy, the delighting in one another continue, even when itâs not fresh anymore!
ă°ď¸ă°ď¸
I let my kids see their dad and I bicker sometimes, which is also a reality of a marriage between a man and a woman – who as a man and a woman have brains that are wired very differently.
Who would we even be kidding if we didnât? Everyone (and especially the children) can sense when a couple is having a moment of disharmony.
They sometimes see a tear fall out of my eye when heâs said something insensitively and my soft heart is (sometimes too) easily pierced.
They sometimes see his jawbone tighten and his normally laid-back demeanor clench up when Iâve said something disrespectfully and his masculine need for respect has been punched.
We let them see frustrations with one another and how we get through them, by pressing into prayer and leaning into love, when the enemy tries to tempt us to stiffen up in pride and pull away from each other.
There were many years before we put God in the middle where we were much more dramatic with our disagreements. One leaving the house for a couple of hours to settle down. (Thankfully always coming back.) Or withdrawing for long periods of time into separate rooms. Me following him around the house because I âhad toâ resolve it now. Giving each other the silent treatment. Or sometimes even yelling.
They saw those moments too, when we didnât want them to.
But you know what, I donât feel bad about that because they see how differently it looks with God at the center.
Not that itâs perfect or ever could be (we are two different people trying to weave a life together after all).
But that the forgiveness comes quicker, the leaning in and showing love comes quicker, can come before the feelings even, when we press into the Lord of Love, the Father of Forgiveness, and ask him to give us his grace and mercy for each other when we arenât feeling it on our own.
ă°ď¸ă°ď¸
AUTHENTIC.
If I had to sum it up in one word, that is my goal. To just be real and show real.
Filtered not by feelings and what I WANT to be real but by FAITH, and what I KNOW to be true despite any particularly messy or particularly magnificent moments.
That we will have good times and bad together.
Sunshine and rain.
Such is life here on Earth.
BOTH are required to grow us. And sometimes growing is great. And sometimes growing is hard.
ă°ď¸ă°ď¸
This is how I want to show my love for Jesus with the world! Just like I show my love for Brett with my kids!
Appropriately, yes, but unashamed!
AUTHENTIC.
Letting others see the very thing that fills me up with love.
My Jesus, like my husband.
Real.
Doesnât always say what I want to hear.
Comforts.
But doesnât always conform to my ideas.
Loving. Protecting.
But canât always shield me from every feeling, every situation, every storm, in t.h.i.s. world.
ă°ď¸ă°ď¸ Sometimes God and I have moments together where he takes my breath away with the way he lavishes love upon me. He has given me blessings that I could never deserve.
And sometimes God and I have moments together where I feel angry and hurt. Where, just like a man, but moreso, I donât always understand him. Because we are DIFFERENT. He is God and his ways are higher than mine!
But always, ALWAYS we are better together! God and I. My husband and I. And my husband and I, WITH God in the center, we donât break down as easily as we did before.
âTwo are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companionâŚif two lie down together, then they keep warm;⌠though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.â ă°ď¸Ecc. 4:10
âYouâre trying to lift your head in worship, but the weight of life has you pinned to the floor. Thatâs ok; Worship from the floor!â – Author Unknown
I saw this quote this morning and it embodied one of the very things God had been showing me lately:
While worship isnât for us {We come to thank and praise Him} we come out of that time STRONGER âď¸ His presence SECURES and EMPOWERS {HIMpowers} us. âď¸
The enemy would have us believe that we shouldnât come into His presence until we are either worthy or desperate.
The enemy would have us believe that we should try our very best FIRST, and only then âbotherâ God for help.
The enemy would have us believe that there are other people who are more desperate, always. {And usually there are.} And so he tells us we donât want to bother God with our little desperations. And we tend to only REALLY seek His help with the big stuff.
But GOD- doesnât operate like the enemy. And His thoughts arenât like our thoughts either.
God says COME.
No earning or âtrying to be goodâ required. The altar does require perfection, but humans donât have that capacity for pure holiness. We all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. But JESUS PAID our way in! So all we have to do is accept that He is the way and ASK Him.
God says ASK.
Ask for His help with the big stuff. But also the little stuff. And everything in between. When we ask, we also gain an awareness of His presence. And when we receive an answer itâs a present.
Our graces and blessings are gifts from God, not âthe universeâ.
And no matter how many other bigger problems people are experiencing out there in the world, He can handle them.
He has room to bear your burdens too, Theyâre not a burden to Him.
Not that theyâre not heavy-
That the weight of the world in this moment isnât heavy.
We arenât denying that it is.
We are simply remembering, right now, just how much BIGGER He is.
Heâs got the whole universe
them-
you-
even future generations-
all of us, all of it-
in His hands.
So come. Ask.
Like this: đđť âGod, I feel like a mess today. I feel like I should be able to fix this thing {whatever it is, insert your burdens here} on my own. I feel like I should be able to âwoman upâ and get through these feelings. But I canât. The more times I go through it, the less desire I even have to try. But I heard I can just ask you. I heard that even though I donât feel like I deserve any favors from you, I have your favor. Because Jesus loves me. So Iâm coming to you with that faith. Hereâs whatâs going on. Please help me. And before you even handle the situation, please hold me. Help me get a grip, as your grace grips me here in this place. And those people I see, who have it worse than me {list them out}, thanks that you have them in your hands too. Thereâs enough room for all of us there. Please hold and help them today too, God. Thank you for the break throughs you are sending on our behalf!â
On this day two years ago, God blessed me in the form of being able to fill my gas â˝ď¸ tank for $8.00 ($0.43 a gallon! Wow! đŻ)
A few days ago, God again blessed me in the form of being able to fill my gas tank. (Though the piece tag was significantly higher. Like ten times the amount. đŤ¤)
If my eyes are on the economy, on the news, on circumstance, I will be frustrated when prices are up and hope seems down. When my dollar doesnât go as far, I can tend to not be as thankful for it. Or to be more worried about how to make more come in.
If my eyes are on Jesus, I will see that all my blessings come from Him. Any money we have is from Him, even when we take part in working for it. Because He gave us the bodies and minds and opportunities to be able to work and support our families. â¤ď¸
Hereâs whatâs on my heart this morning.
Because I GET IT.
I get the frustration at the gas pump and at the grocery store. I get why people tell other people to stop calling the glass âhalf fullâ (because to those living on less, inflation hits much harder.)
I also get the wanting to encourage others. Because itâs hard to see morale down.
I think the true issue is – that all the encouragement in THIS world falls short. And thatâs why I encourage with the only stuff that doesnât. âď¸
Not that this world doesnât matter. He came here and shed His blood to show us how much it does.
But that the spiritual things which are eternal, matter even MORE.
And that when we turn our eyes toward Him, In gratitude, saying âThank you Jesus!â instead of turning them upon our earthly leaders and passive-aggressively grumbling âLetâs go, Bidenâ we feel ALOT more joyful!
Our spiritual tanks OVERFLOW, even! Freely!
Faith isnât the denial of problems, as if they donât exist. Itâs denying them the power to control our attitudes and determine our heart-songs. âď¸â¤ď¸âď¸
We must guard our hearts.
ââ-
âDonât worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience Godâs peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ JesusâŚ.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praiseâŚ
Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from meâeverything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with youâŚ.
⌠I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
âŚAnd this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.â
âThe mother not in the pictures {because she is always the one taking them}, is, in fact, MORE in the pictures than everyone else.â
That was a God-thought in my heart that hit me out of nowhere the other day.
I didnât give it much thought then, but He repeated Himself again today.
My mom just gifted my daughter with her hand-me down computer, and an embroidery machine so that she can keep practicing what sheâs learning from her grandma. đ
So just now, I was upstairs checking out her room which she had freshly cleaned, to make room for these things. And I see the screensaver that had been my motherâs. A picture of me and my three siblings. Love.
I had a flashback to going through old photo albums and thinking that I wished I had more pictures with my mom when I was little. She wasnât really a picture taker, that was more of my thing. (And over the years since Iâve been old enough Iâve probably taken enough for everyone in the whole family lol. My iPhone storage would attest to that. đ)
I also remember reading some blog posts about the subject of mothers in photos. How we arenât in them enough because we are always the one taking them. How many mothers wish that their husbands, or someone- anyone- would capture candid photos of them with their kids. Not posed, but photos simply in the moment, because when a mother is engaged with her children, that is when her most beautiful self often emerges. (Our kids have a way of drawing out both extremes of emotions donât they? đ Itâs because we are very passionate about them!)
I also recall the last time my daughter cleaned her room. She had just created this photo wall with pictures she had.
There were photos of her with her daddy (lots of them), of her with her brothers, with family, with friends, with old classmates.
But not one single photo of her with me.
And I know it sounds silly, but my feelings were hurt, and I blurted out a comment along the lines of âGuess Dadâs your favorite, huh?â
(It can really feel that way sometimes, especially when Mom is the homeschool enforcer, and Dad is the fun softball coach. When Mom is usually the serious, and Dad is usually the playful.)
Her reply was that of course she didnât have a favorite, itâs just that we donât usually print pictures out. AND that she has more photos with everyone else because Iâm usually the one taking them.
And that was the end of that conversation.
But a few weeks later, I was enjoying watching my children play together, and I reached for my camera and that is when God gave this insight to me:
âThe mother not in the pictures is MORE in the pictures than everyone else.
More than on the surface,
More than what she looks like on the outside,
You can SEE who she is through the pics that she takes.
You can see a glimpse of her HEART!
Just look!
What do you see in the photos youâve taken?
LOVE.
The dozens of pictures you took and canât bear to delete, even though theyâre similar, because different facets of your kidsâ personalities were caught in different frames.
Delight. Adorable pucker. Silliness. Sweetness.
You relish every facet of your children.
And your husband.
And your loved ones.
Donât you?
Do you see how that actually captures your essence more than a photo with your face in it?â
Me- âWOW. Yesssss.â
God- âNow that you know this, can you see ME in your pics?
In the photos that have been taken of you,
instead of judging yourself by the physical flaws you seeâŚ
by seasons of teenage awkwardness,
or motherhood with its extra poundsâŚ
whether good hair day, or messy bun and getting it doneâŚ
Look past the subject of the photos, and you can SEE the heart of the one who captured it AND – another level out- the One (Me) who created you both!
Zoom out in your perspective, examine photos like that, and I think youâll learn a lot about love.
I think youâll feel more loved, by your momma, and by me, than youâve ever felt youâve been loved before Not that I felt unloved. But we can always enjoy feeling it more canât we?(Plus- âlove you more than youâve ever been loved beforeâ is something my mom has been saying since I was a tot. đ)
Today, booting up the computer with the picture my mom took of my siblings and I, right under the wall of photos in my girlâs room that I took, it all came together beautifully.
And it really touched my soul.
So much that I had to take a moment to share.
For any other mommas who may wish they were in more photos.
Or who tend to judge themselves too harshly when they ARE in photos.
Or who forget (or maybe have never realized at all), in the seriousness of life, how lavishly they really are loved:
Make a gallery of photos.
Ones you have taken and ones others have taken of you.
Look past the surface and learn.
See with new eyes!
Caption each photo with His goodness.
He is so so good.
And you are so very loved, beloved.
(And as a soul check, take a look at your camera roll. The photos that we capture, often tell a story of what we are currently valuing most. Is God in any of them? Quotes about His love, moments that you have been aware of His Presence? I think, perhaps, He desires to be in our hearts as much as we desire to be in our loved onesâ.}
Sometimes I believe the prodigal is tempted to run again. I know this is true, actually, because the temptation came to me recently. As believers we donât like to talk about things like this much, because they make us look weak and make us feel vulnerable. But if my weakness accentuates Godâs glory and strength, then so be it. I will share. â¤ď¸
So here is a journal entry of mine from last month, when I was in the middle of a spiritual battle, faced with the decision to fight-or-flight. Thankfully, the Lord fought for me when I finally allowed myself to simply become still. I think sometimes we need a reminder that He gives us this third optionâŚTHIS is how we fight our battles. ⤾ď¸
âDo not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you todayâŚâ ââfrom Exodus⏠â14:13⏠âNIVâŹâŹ
ââââââ Journal Entry:
Sometimes the prodigal is tempted to run again.
Not for the same reasons they ran the first time.
(Because they were all about self.)
(Because they thought the world held so much more pleasure and promise.)
But because they have been trying their very best and still feeling very much like they are falling short.
Because they KNOW (have experienced) the undeserved love the Father has lavished upon them and they have been trying to rise up and be worthy of it.
But they just canât.
They just keep falling short.
And the enemy uses that to try to get them to leave.
But the Father never expected them to earn their place in the family, only to appreciate it.
He never expected them to be perfect, He just loves that they are present with Him.
He is proud of them when they keep trying their best.
When they keep choosing to work for othersâ good, to search for other lost ones with with Him.
He is proud when they keep repurposing the return party He has thrown for them, into a search party for those out there who are still unsaved,
or still hiding in pigpens hungry,
or still partying trying to fill a hunger that was never designed to be filled that way.
Those who have been trying to get all the good feelings out there, when love has been right HERE all along, and when embraced will give the feelings theyâre looking for.
Returned-Prodigal, who is on the brink of running again⌠listen.
You are no more likely to be able to deserve Godâs blessing, now that youâre back and have been for awhileâŚthan you were when you first returned.
Just because He lets you go searching for others with him doesnât mean He now expects perfection from you,
or for you to be ALL about service as if your self didnât matter AT ALL.
(No, the part about loving God first is not for Him, itâs for you. God isnât self-centered the way we are. He is absolutely pure love.)
When you seek Him first you will find every time that He loves you for YOU.
Not for what you do.
And that love empowers, and work can be done willingly from its overflow.
He pre-pays.
And itâs not wages, itâs a gift.
So prodigal if youâre ready to runâŚ
if youâre ready to quit because it feels like so much,
and you also hate that you feel this way
because you KNOW how much Heâs given you and you feel that you owe your all to HimâŚ
Be still for a moment.
Remind yourself you donât owe Him anything.
But not in a way of exerting independence like the enemy is likely tempting. (The voice that says âGet away. Go off by yourself. Donât accept grace and favors from anyone because youâll owe them and you donât have it in you to pay them back. Itâs not worth it. Better to not accept it and be in their debt to begin with.â)
No- God says there IS no debt with Him, because JESUS PAID IT!
We did owe Him. More than we could ever pay back with our entire lives. And that pressure was too great to bear! So Jesus took it on for us! Thatâs the essence of the Good News, isnât it?
So free yourself from that pressure.
You donât HAVE to work to deserve it.
No matter how much work you do, youâll never feel even/that debt settled if youâre trying to work it out like that.
So letâs just settle that.
You donât need to be even.
Humbly accept your indebtedness, and then gratefully accept that He paid it.
He doesnât EXPECT anything of you.
And thatâs hard to grasp maybe
because you expect a lot of yourself,
and of others.
When they receive grace you expect them to be appreciative,
when they have been in the church awhile you expect them to serve,
when theyâre leaders you expect that theyâd step up and be more excited about this stuff than sports or hobbies or anything elseâŚ
We feel they owe him that donât they? They owe the body that?
But itâs not like that in His Kingdom! They donât OWE Him. They donât OWE the church. Because Jesus already paid for their place.
A proper heart-felt response to that WOULD be overflowing in service out of gratitudeâŚ
If that is the fruit, then the root (His love planted in them) is healthy.
But if not, criticizing the tree for lack of fruit isnât going to help.
We have to get to the roots.
Are they focused on works or worship?
Are they serving or attending because they love Him, because they are experiencing his love for them? Or is it duty? Is it works? (âIf I do this I can feel good and even?â In which case, their level of gratitude limits their limit of service.)
Even if our heart is right, that we WANT to serve, because of what He has done for us, our level of gratitude still plays a role in limiting our desire to serve.
So when our desire to serve is down, increasing our gratitude is the solution.
Itâs like a chemical (spiritual) reactionâ God is the constant, and He is in us. Gratitude is the other reagent. And service is the outcome.
God doesnât change. Youâll notice when someoneâs service is up AND theyâre joyful about itâŚwhen itâs not forced, it just flows- they also are almost always incredibly grateful.
Our desire to sit with Him is a different equation with a different set of factors.
Often, we naturally want to sit still with Him when we feel proud of our service or behavior- because then we feel like we deserve it, have earned it and arenât going to go into debt for it.
We donât naturally like to accept charity or grace or favors.
Something in us (which is maybe an honorable part in other areas of our lives) wants to take only what we need (for example, in times of distress) or have earned.
But we have to get over that because it will dry up! Neediness dries up. (Thank God!) Our ability to earn dries up. (We need you, Jesus!)
I believe this is the equation.
Gratitude + God(âs Presence) = Work.
As a prodigal, my journey started with gratitude, which increased my awareness/soaking in of His presence and resulted in work. (Not forced works, but a natural flowing.)
But as I began to focus on work, my gratitude decreased because I unconsciously thought His presence was deserved,
When my gratitude (grateful attitude) decreases – my awareness of his presence (presents) decreases, and then my WANT-to-work naturally decreases!
So whatâs the solution?
We can force ourselves to work of course, but that is grind.
Itâs adding into the equation and itâs exhausting, constantly feeding in manipulated âmotivationâ as a reagent.
But we donât have to do this!
Nor do we have to decrease our commitments to serve!
The solution is to focus on what He has given us to be thankful for.
And if we can- focus less on our own desires, less on our own work and what we think others should be thankful to us for, because that competes for our mental resources and decreases our capacity for gratitude.
Put as much focus as you can into thanking Him- worship.
And work will flow naturally, wonderfully!
But it doesnât work the other way around- Put as much focus as you can on work and you wonât be able to feel the reaction (gratitude and His presence) and eventually you wonât be able to muster up any motivation and the work too will come to a stop.
âââââ This is what God shared with me as I became still before Him.
When I paused in running myself ragged with a thousand to-do lists which were tunneling me into tasks for Him but away from quality time with Him.
Yet, as I prioritize that time with Him- even when I donât feel worthy of it- even when I havenât begun to make a dent in all the things He whispered in the quiet place that we would be doing together- my energy returns! His lightness in me, His light in me comes back!
And I am ready to run again! WITH HIM, not away from Him!
Itâs not the running thatâs wrong.
Itâs whether we are running away from Him or toward!
Prodigals with the urge to run- Turn around And run right back toward Him! đ đâ¤ď¸
Heâs ALWAYS ready to welcome you (again and again and again) and spend time with you at home.
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