This morning I went down to our basement to start a load of laundry.
The first thing I saw when I walked down the stairs was a big ol’ wolf spider, scurrying across the floor. 🕷️
I looked down at my feet- no shoes to step on it with. 🤦🏼♀️
Nothing in my hands to smash it with either.
So, not wanting to leave the room (knowing if I did, it will have scurried away by the time I got back), I grabbed the first thing I could find which was a pair of socks from our clean laundry bin, and took care of it.
Why? Because I’ve learned that if you don’t squish it when you see it, sometimes it comes back to bite you later.
Now of course this post isn’t 𝒶𝒸𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓁𝓁y about spiders.
{So anyone about to tell me which spiders bite and which don’t, which are poisonous and aren’t, which are actually beneficial to the environment, that’s interesting and all, but that’s not actually where I want to go with this conversation.}
What I want to share- in this memorable way- is a spiritual truth that is relatable.
Have you ever had a “spider” of a thought?
A creepy crawly lie that the enemy tries to send your way?
If you don’t know your authority and USE IT to squish that lie, {particularly with the 𝒯ℛ𝒰𝒯ℋ of the Word}, that thought- even if dismissed initially- may scurry back to bite you later!
We don’t get to choose what we come across- not even thoughts sometimes.
But we do get to choose what we allow to stay, and what we squish out.
We need to stay surrounded by Truth. And we need to smash the lies.
About our identity. {Who we are in Him.}
About our authority in Christ. {What He says we can do- in His Power.}
About our security in Him. {How He says He will take care of us.}
About the authority we need to allow Him to have in our lives. {Versus the “cute” lie of an idea that as Christians we can decide for ourselves what is right and wrong. A seemingly innocent little insect, but a poisonous one for our souls…}
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I don’t know what spiders you have been coming across lately, in particular.
We all tend to have our own “brand” that the enemy likes to send our way.
Maybe he has been attacking your identity or security.
Maybe he is always there with his ugly thoughts…
that you aren’t enough
don’t have enough,
won’t have enough in the future,
aren’t loved enough,
don’t do enough….
He has enough little variants on those phrases to keep us from moving, Godfidently, in the direction God has called us.
But today – let’s say ℰ𝒩𝒪𝒰𝒢ℋ ℐ𝒮 ℰ𝒩𝒪𝒰𝒢ℋ!
Let’s smash those ugly bugs with TRUTH -that 𝓌ℯ 𝒹ℴ𝓃’𝓉 ℋ𝒜𝒱ℰ 𝓉ℴ 𝒷ℯ ℯ𝓃ℴ𝓊ℊ𝒽!
Jesus Christ is enough for us! We are sufficient, in His sufficiency! His grace is sufficient for us!
Besides that, we are made in His image. Knit together in our mother’s wombs. Designed uniquely and exactly the way God wanted us to be. And with Him we have ALL we need to accomplish everything that He has given us to do!
I could go on and on with Truth bombs here. And sometimes we have so many lies attacking our minds that this is exactly what we need- to “bomb” our spiritual house {our minds} with His Words.
But I don’t want to make this post crazy long.
So today, I encourage you.
Don’t just dismiss those lies and let them go, continuing to lurk in the corners. Coming back around later to bite you again.
Identify them and squash them immediately.
Use the weapon of the Word that He has given you, and take those lies out.
The other morning God and I had a “coffee date” by the lake after I took my son to work.
Here is one set of notes I jotted down, that He spoke to my heart.
I so needed this. ❤️
Sometimes in a season of growth- whether growth in family, in business, in ministry, or even growth in wisdom through study, it’s easy to neglect the growth that matters most—RELATIONSHIP.
With God.
And with our c.o.r.e people- the ones that keep us rooted & grounded in Him, and in His love for us, whenever we start to believe that the success of our mission depends more upon what we do than it does basking in what He has done for us, and spilling that out into a weary world.
So- here is what He showed me in our quiet time, as my eyes came to rest upon the shadow of a tree’s branches on the ground, which looked just like roots!
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The sun (Son) reminds us, shows us that there are important roots beneath the surface that hold the tree up.
When children draw trees, they never draw the roots. Likely, they don’t even think of them.
Adults who have grown up to not consider the roots can also be this way.
And- even once we know it’s easy to forget.
There are too many visual distractions.
That’s why the sun reminds us. When it shines through the branches and casts shadows on the ground, it’s as if it’s painting a picture of the roots for us to see!
Even a very small tree would fall over without roots.
Once we grow and become “family trees” and have branches and other parts of the tree depending on our ability to stand- we can feel so much pressure to hold things up.
We fall over and over.
We NEED roots.
We need to be implanted beneath the surface!
Imagine a stick, stuck into the ground, trying to stand.
If only a shallow depth in, the stick will fall easily. The slightest wind will knock it over.
So- How much of a percentage “buried” (rooted/planted/hidden/secured) will keep it more solid?
How much of our time needs to be spent “grounded” (in our heavenly home, in the presence of God alone, spiritually dwelling in the room that he has gone to prepare for us?)
The bigger our stick, our tree is, the more we need to be stubborn about having that “grounded” time. Especially if others are depending on us.
We can’t give anyone the best of ourselves if we don’t first go get the best (love found in quality time with God) for ourselves.
It’s not negligent to them, it’s IMPORTANT.
It shouldn’t be seen as competing with the other things in our life for our time, it should be seen as supporting them. Just like roots don’t compete with branches, they support them and hold them up! 🌲
Excited to embrace this once again. Sometimes we all need a reminder.
“It’s empty!!” 😩 said my three year old, as he dramatically placed a box in my lap that he had pulled from under a Christmas tree at our Friday co-op.
It was the fourth or fifth box he had opened, which were really under the tree as props. Decoration.
I had warned him of that when he first asked if he could open them, actually, but he had to see for himself. He was SURE that there was going to be a wonderful gift inside, and nothing besides examining the insides personally could convince him otherwise!
At first I found myself giving him the “told ya so” speech, but when I saw that his childlike anticipation had been replaced by a new look of hopelessness, frustration, and defeat, my annoyance that he wouldn’t listen to me was also replaced– with empathy.
Actually, I FELT it.
And I can also see it echoed in the hearts and posts of so many in my newsfeed.
Some of the things and experiences that, especially this time of year, seem so sparkly and shiny and beautiful and promising — that we are just certain if we could open them for ourselves, would bring us great joy— fail to deliver the truly full heart we are deep down looking for.
AND YET…
Perhaps we are missing it.
Perhaps there is something there that can’t be seen.
An opportunity waiting to present itself, if we could just take on a new mindset.
Not an empty box, but a SPACE to create!
A challenge to see something BEYOND the seen!
To call it forth, into being!
——
I almost missed it, to be real with you.
In fact, because this moment happened towards the end of the day and past the mark when my mind is ready to disengage and be back at home, my patience was lacking more than I love to admit.
I probably responded to him no less than a dozen times, and with an exasperated voice, “I know, it’s empty. I’m sorry. I wish I could help you but I can’t.”
Until I realized, I could.
So the thirteenth-ish time, I changed my reaction.
Or rather, God changed my perspective for me.
I don’t know how I heard His voice amidst the chaos and clutter of my own mind, with its regular PLUS holiday to-do lists shuffling and its battery low…but I did.
And He said something along the lines of:
The box is not empty. It’s just waiting for you to call out the fullness. Use your imagination, why don’t you?
See what’s there that can’t be seen, until YOU bring it out.
So I looked in that box, and I don’t know what came over me-
a childlike playfulness I don’t channel often enough-
and I said to him, “Oh, C! You missed it! This box isn’t empty, there’s a SMILE in it!!! 😃”
And I smiled a giant smile and thanked him for it, and as he peered inside to see for himself, the gift multiplied and suddenly he was donning a brand-new smile too!
And then the next gift came out: a LAUGH!
After that, he and the others began searching for trinkets to put IN the box, and it became quite the playtime.
They filled it with tractors and cars and closed and opened the boxes over and over, never seeming to get tired of seeing the things they placed in them inside and “regifting” them to others who would peek inside the box!
Certainly a change from the demeanor he had when looking for pre-filled boxes, only to find them “empty.”
The joy was in the filling! The imagining! The creating, delighting, sharing.
——
I know this time of year, it’s easy to want life to be like a Hallmark movie.
It’s easy to want to go back to those childhood days of opening boxes to find someone else had filled them for us.
It’s easy to want to be the recipient of hospitality, instead of the one behind the scenes putting in the time, sweat, and sometimes tears of creating the atmosphere that seems to others, to be effortless.
But if we look too long at the package- the outside, the expectations of what the holidays will hold
or too much on the apparent- what a.p.p.e.a.r.s to be inside {or particularly, the lack thereof}
we will feel frustrated, exasperated, defeated, and disillusioned.
We will grab ahold of those feelings of “emptiness”… (Like the “what about me” post I keep seeing about moms having empty stockings — which trust me, I’m not judging because I’ve been there and felt that way before— I just want to show you something MORE here—) and our souls will feel cheated and depleted.
But what if we took on a fresh set of eyes?
What if we saw this new “open box” as a DEEP PRIVILEGE, an opportunity- to be the host, the magic-bringer, the light-displayer, the story-of-Jesus’s-love-teller… not as if we had been shoved out of the cozy nest of childhood and receiving, which makes us long for those old, nostalgic days-
But instead, for the joy that it is!
Minus any pressure placed upon ourselves for others’ happiness to rest solely in our hands.
I’m not talking about placing the weight of giving our children or anyone else a “perfect Christmas” square on our shoulders.
I’m simply saying:
What if we stopped buying the lie that our boxes are empty?
And we stopped chasing all the things that we believe will fill them?
And we ask Him to help us call out the good stuff- the best stuff-
HIS peace and joy and contentment-
that are there but sometimes we need help to see them, and to RECEIVE them.
You see, a love like that- when received- or RE-received- you just can’t help but pass it on! ❤️
And THAT is what the best holidays- or any days- are made of. HIS unseen but realer-than-real love.
It’s the antidote, in fact, for all emptiness.
It’s what I wish for everyone, this Christmas.
Your stockings aren’t empty, momma. It’s just that God has given you blessings that don’t fit inside stockings anymore!
There are some things in my relationship with Jesus I enjoy writing about more than others. God winks. “Trash talk.” (When I pick up trash and discover a message in the words, because He can use anything to converse with us.) All the cool little ways He speaks if we will quiet our souls and listen and learn to hear Him.
And then there are the things I don’t so much like to talk about. Like suicidal thoughts, and struggles with feeling misunderstood, and how Jesus has and still does help me through some very difficult thoughts and emotions.
These are the subjects that MOST need shared though, I believe. Because more people struggle with them than care to admit it. Even Christians, because while we are not of this world any longer we are still in this world- and this is a messy, emotionally charged, worry-filled, but also breathtakingly beautiful at times world. It’s so much up and down that sometimes we can feel disoriented, and we need something- SomeONE to reorient us.
I read just now when I googled it that suicide is the 12th leading cause of death in the US. That in 2020, 45,979 Americans died by suicide and there were an estimated 1.20M suicide attempts.
Those numbers are HEARTBREAKING 💔 to me. Each and every one of them undoubtedly had reached a place where they felt like they couldn’t go on.
And it’s embarrassing to admit, though Jesus has removed my shame, that I have been there before.
It’s even harder for me to share that from time to time I can still struggle with these feelings.
I have heard lots of testimonies from believers about how Jesus has delivered them in their past from thoughts or even attempts of suicide. But I haven’t seen many sharing their ongoing battles with it, or the way Jesus has taught them to get out of that stronghold when they wrestle with those thoughts.
And maybe some are delivered once and never have those struggles again.
But I know there are others- because I have dealt with it in my own life- who the enemy still comes after with those thoughts, and yet it’s hard to share that because we also can feel like a failure in our faith if we don’t always FEEL joyful, hopeful, forgiving, or confident.
I know I’m not alone in this. And I know that someone who will read this- today or in the future- will benefit from seeing that they’re not alone, and that they’re not stuck. There IS a better way out, than suicide. And His name is JESUS. In John 14:6 Jesus says, “I am the way and the truth and the life!”
And today I want to share what it looks like, particularly in the battle of these I’ve-got-nothing-left-to-give, can’t-keep-on-keeping-on thoughts, to take HIS way out.
So if anyone is reading this that has been considering taking the other way out, I urge you to give this a try instead. As many times as you need to. (It’s not shameful to need His help over and over and over, it’s exactly why He came and why He offers us His Holy Spirit. He KNOWS we need help. We were not designed to do life or battle the demons of depression, anxiety, or suicidal or even just discouraging thoughts alone!)
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❤️ YOU DON’T WANT TO DIE. YOU ARE JUST STRUGGLING TO KEEP ON LIVING- with a situation, an emotion, something.
You have hit a place where you feel like you can’t go on.
And honestly- if you have been here before, and find yourself here again, with each time the enemy may increase his lies saying “What’s the point? The feelings will just come back.”
Friend- it’s time to hear some Truth.
The Truth is- not only is there a God but there’s also a devil. Not only are there angels but there are demons. And those thoughts do NOT come from our own selves, they come from the enemy of our souls. Robbers do not break into empty, worthless houses. They break into the places with VALUABLES. And the devil is trying to break into your mind because YOU ARE INFINITELY VALUABLE TO GOD, and to more people than you probably feel like in this moment.
And yes- even if you defeat these thoughts, they may try to attack again. (Do you think most criminals try to steal something once and then give up?) BUT GOD DOESN’T GIVE UP ON YOU EITHER! And HE IS STRONGER! And the more times you turn to Him, to wrestle out of this attempted stronghold, the more quickly you will learn to recognize it for what it is, recognize that it’s beyond your own capacity to handle, and call on Him for His help, encouragement, and grace-power, instead of trying to muster up more will-power, when your will is so depleted that it’s even having a hard time just staying alive.
There’s an acronym for hope that I love- Hold On Pain Ends.
It does!
It also may come back too. This life is full of challenges.
But guess what? Whenever it does- EVERY SINGLE TIME- Jesus is willing to be there for you, if you will call on Him!
He never ever EVER gets tired of helping you, never hits his limit of love for you. He is the only limitless! And He WANTS to walk this out with you!
So don’t just “hold on”, don’t just wait for things to get better. Don’t just hold on to your horses, your big girl panties, or anything else.
HOLD ON TO HIM!
HE IS THE ONLY ONE STRONG ENOUGH TO WRESTLE OFF THESE LIES AND DEMONS.
And He never expects you to get to a place of not needing His help!
——————————————— ❤️ FAITH IS A DECISION, NOT AN EMOTION.
Regarding this topic, it’s a decision to call upon Jesus to get you through a situation or an emotional attack, instead of giving up or trying to go it alone.
The emotions often follow!
Once He gets you through, and this wave of pain ends, you will undoubtedly hit a BEAUTIFUL moment in life (because those come around too! And even moreso when we look for them, and make it a point to create those moments for others too.)
When this happens, your joy and your love and gratitude for Jesus will be even more intense than they would have been if you didn’t go through trials! (Imagine the flood of emotions, finishing a marathon that you wanted to give up in a million times but a friend didn’t let you, kept coming back for you, kept helping you press on! You got the medal at the end- the beautiful moment! When on your own you didn’t deserve it, couldn’t have earned it. You just want to wrap that person up in a giant hug because they saw and called out something in you that you couldn’t have! That’s what Jesus does! He SEES the ability to persist in us because He PLACED it there! It’s not of our own selves but His Holy Spirit that abides in us if we invite Him in!)
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❤️ SALVATION IS THE OTHER “WAY OUT”- THE BETTER WAY OUT. IT IS THE FLIP-SIDE OF SUICIDE.
Listen- you can’t go on, I know.
I’m not telling you to carry on.
I’m here to share the salvation opportunity with you- the opportunity to BE CARRIED ON.
Salvation is BOTH a one-time thing, and also a daily thing, just like marriage is a one-time commitment but also a daily persisting and commitment.
Salvation is coming into relationship with Jesus and not just doing life next to eachother but depending on Him as a partner, and particularly THE STRONG ONE. The only partner where it doesn’t have to be 50/50, or 80/20. He wants us to depend on Him for EVERYTHING that we need! And He truly means that and never reaches His limit to provide that emotional support! And anything we have to give – all the love we serve with- THIS is where that generates from! THIS is where the keeping-on power is found, when we allow ourselves to be “kept” in Him!
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❤️ YOU AREN’T DESIGNED TO BE SELF-EMPOWERED OR SELF-SUFFICIENT
I have come to recognize, in my walk with Jesus, that when I get to this can’t-go-on place, I am NEVER desiring to actually die.
And I feel like it’s so important to share this because others need to know it and understand it, so that if they ever get to this place they can see the way out of that trap too!
What this feeling is, is an indicator that I have simply hit my emotional capacity to handle the weight of something on my own. (I wasn’t designed to, but this alert reminds me that I must have inadvertently been trying to, and I’ve strained my “motor” and need to get back to being empowered by Him, not trying to push myself onward.)
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📖 This morning I was drawn to read Luke 23.
For the first time I read the events leading up to Jesus’s resurrection (Him walking through death and out of the grave!) in a new way!
Verse 1-3: “Then the whole assembly rose and led him off to Pilate. And they began to accuse him, saying, “We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Messiah, a king.” So Pilate asked Jesus, “Are you the king of the Jews?” “You have said so,” Jesus replied.”
So it began with lies. Accusations. And what was different about Jesus? He didn’t get out of this situation by defending himself, explaining himself, running away, turning it on them or throwing anyone else under the bus. He waited on God to get him through.
Verse 4-5: “Then Pilate announced to the chief priests and the crowd, “I find no basis for a charge against this man.” But they insisted, “He stirs up the people all over Judea by his teaching. He started in Galilee and has come all the way here.”” So then, even with someone defending Him, someone declaring his innocence, even with a not-guilty judgment, the lies didn’t stop. The attacks kept coming. They weren’t justified but they didn’t care. You can’t reason with demons, or with people bent on believing the worst.
Jesus didn’t try to reason. He waited on God to deliver Him.
It got worse. The attacks became physical, but were still also emotional. They beat him. They nailed him to a cross. They mocked him. As he was dying for them, they were killing him.
(Ever feel that way? I’m giving you my all and you don’t even see it, you don’t even care. And not only that but you’re killing me (not literally but it can feel like it.) You’re starving me of my needs. Or you’re talking badly about me. Or you’re acting like I don’t matter. Or you’re accusing me of not giving my all and you don’t even know how much that’s not true. JESUS WENT THROUGH ALL OF THIS! HE CAN RELATE! Take it to him!)
Finally- Jesus reached His “limit.” He gave all that His body could give, (He had a human body that could only take so much, but now He has on His heavenly body that is invincible) and yet He didn’t give up on His mission- Instead, this is what He did:
Verse 34: “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Verse 44-47: “It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.
Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”
When he had said this, he breathed his last. The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.”
So here I believe He shows us TWO KEYS, to spiritually pressing on PAST the things that feel like they’re emotionally or even physically killing us-
1️⃣PRE-FORGIVENESS: He decided ahead of time to forgive people, and to ask God to forgive them, thus releasing any bitterness that would hold him down. When we forgive, it releases us from the pain. When we decide to pre-forgive, it prepares us to get through any possible pain even faster. When someone hurts us, pain exists. There’s no way around it, we have to get through it. But we don’t have to get through it alone. We can ask for His help to forgive. And instead of dragging it out each time, trying to decide if each offense is forgivable or not, when we pre-forgive it keeps us from wasting that precious time and also “gets us through” that dark tunnel faster.
2️⃣PLACING OUR SPIRITS INTO HIS HANDS: In this Bible passage, Jesus’s spirit was leaving His body. It was His time. He didn’t decide his time, God did. When the enemy tries to get us to think suicidal thoughts, what he is doing is attempting to get our spirits to take our physical lives into our own hands, and to choose our time to “be done” on our own. But — we are freed from spiritual torment when we follow Jesus’s example— placing our spiritual well-being into God’s hands.
I don’t have to be okay on my own, I go to God for my okayness.
I don’t have to be able to forgive on my own, I go to God and ask for him to give me the capacity to forgive.
I don’t have to be able to suck it up and carry on on my own, I can ask for my heavenly Father to carry me. To lift my spirit!
Jesus Christ did even more than die on the cross for us. He momentarily took on our other punishment- spiritual separation from God- (it’s why He cried out “My God my God why have you forsaken me?)— so that we would NEVER have to have that! So that there’d NEVER be a time when we call out to God that He is not willing to hear us.
So there’s a tragedy that exists beyond some choosing not to trust in Jesus for their eternal salvation, and missing out on heaven.
There’s also a tragedy even amongst Christians— that we sometimes leave the gift of His presence on the table— and we try to go it alone, in all situations or just some of them, when we don’t have to! We try to save ourselves or we believe that we are done-beyond saving from these emotions, this situation- when He offers us- as many times as we need it, in every circumstance and every emotion— the opportunity to “get away” from those unbearable emotions by taking cover spiritually in Him.
So I’m sharing this today as it crossed my mind again, in hopes that it will help someone press through- not in their own selves but by pressing into Him! ❤️
Life can be HARD. But God is GOOD!
If it’s an emotion you’re struggling with, a lie, attacks on your mind- use the gift of Jesus’s authority that He gave you over your own mind. Ask Him to come in and fill your mind with Truth, and tell the enemy and those lies to leave you in Jesus’s name!
If it’s a circumstance, “go to the bottom of the pool” and press up. Admit that you CAN’T change it, handle it, do it, but also remind yourself that GOD CAN. He can deliver you physically or He can strengthen you emotionally to persevere until this season has past!
Go “where two or more are gathered in His name.” Find a group of Spirit-filled believers and ask them to pray over you. We weren’t made to battle alone.
Practice pre-forgiveness. This one is hard. I am FAR from perfecting it. I hate having to practice it. As a words girl I can even take things personally that people don’t intend to be hurtful. Or even the lack of words at times can be hurtful. If we are looking for opportunities to be offended, we can always find them. But if we are looking to follow Jesus’s example and decide “they know not what they do”.
Even when it seems that they do, even when they REALLY do – there’s another level of “knowing”
they don’t understand because they don’t have the same love languages as us,
or because their spiritual eyes haven’t been opened,
or their souls have become calloused.
And humility helps too- there have been times I have hurt people when I truly and honestly didn’t mean to. And there have been times where I regret it, but I did say something hurtful, and at the time I did mean to. If I am thankful to have been forgiven, I need to decide I’m willing to forgive too.
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Sharing these things and my real human struggles and flaws is never easy, but I want to be obedient when prompted. Praying if you are struggling with any of these things, that now you don’t feel alone – and that it helps you. ❤️
Yesterday morning I woke and the shadow of the craft I made last month caught my eye on my dresser, as the sun was gleaming through it.
(I recreated it with a flashlight for this photo because I didn’t catch it in time.)
So anyway- See how the light is shining through the glass part?
God drew my eyes to it and said to my heart:
“Authenticity.
THIS is why authenticity (transparency) is important.”
Because the places where we allow transparency in our lives, sharing our sometimes beautiful and sometimes messy feelings and stories is exactly where His light shines through!
Other people need to know that they’re normal and that just because they become Christian doesn’t mean that their life on earth is all rainbows and roses, nor does it mean that their feelings are always going to be good.
Faith is a decision, not an emotion. It’s choosing to believe God is good and has a plan and a purpose (even when we can’t see it yet, and even when we don’t feel good.)
Authenticity allows people to see- you can love Jesus and still have some messy feelings. That’s one reason why He wants to walk in real relationship with us through Holy Spirit- to help us through those!
In my craft in the photo, all the pieces were actually originally clear glass. But some parts I painted black for the look of it.
And I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with that, craftwise, but this is what God spoke to my heart as He used this illustration to speak to me.
“See the parts that you painted over?
No light is getting through that.
People don’t see the true Me as much-
the God that comforts t.h.r.o.u.g.h messy feelings, instead of promising that you’ll never have challenging situations again;
the God that is good- even when life doesn’t always f.e.e.l like the Facebook filtered perfection you w.a.n.t it to feel like;
the God whose love is p.u.r.e and who somehow shines Joy and peace into souls – when people come to Him for it- even when it makes no physical sense that they’d be able to find joy or find peace in the situations they find themselves in.”
So many friends on my heart today. Going through some very hard things.
And authentically I can share that I experience hard feelings too, often.
The flesh doesn’t like being challenged, or going through change, or experiencing any sort of struggle.
And yet- in all of it- we can still see and seek to look upon and focus on His goodness! The light, amongst the dark!
I see my friends seeking Him
even as one has lost her husband,
and even as one is headed back to her war-torn country to help mend some hearts by sharing Jesus’s love.
Those a just a few. There are so many others. And I deeply appreciate their authenticity- and the ways they demonstrate that GOD IS GOOD even when life is hard. ✝️
The other day I was going for a walk, talking to God about all that was on my mind, and opening myself up for any thoughts He wanted to place on my heart.
Probably because the holidays are coming up and my mind is beginning to think on those, my thoughts drifted to traditions and changes, as time marches on. 🧡
Over the past several years, things would come up around the holidays that would shake up our “norm.” And I use the word normal loosely because I feel like I’ve never had rigid traditions. As much as I’ve felt like maybe I should, especially as it’s easy to look around at holiday times and see all the other Pinterest-worthy traditions and activities other people get into during the holidays.
One year, when I was pregnant, I was so exhausted and had so much anxiety being pregnant after loss that I didn’t wrap our gifts. They came in cardboard Amazon boxes and stayed that way, other than the ones that came with pictures of the items on the boxes (not sure who thought that was a good idea 😂)— those, I removed from their boxes and put in dollar tree bags, which was the second most fuss-free option!
I was so worried the kids would be disappointed not having Christmas paper to tear open, but they didn’t care. They reminded me Christmas isn’t about gifts anyway, and that they were glad I was tired because they were getting a new brother. ❤️
Another tradition we used to have was cutting down our own fresh Christmas tree. This is one of our best kept ones, except for a year I was having a miscarriage and in so much physical pain when we went that we ended up grabbing a precut one and rushing home. 😞 Or last year when we just couldn’t find a day to go when the weather wasn’t crappy and none of us had a cold, so we hit up the local corner tree place and chose one from a half dozen that they had precut there, threw it in the back of the truck, and drove home— decidedly content and not needing tradition to be joyful, but all the same— it just wasn’t the same.
You know that feeling, I’m guessing.
We just want it to feel “the same” sometimes don’t we?
Just like it used to?
The warm fuzzy feelings.
The perfect holiday moments that make our hearts feel like they’re going to burst!
Some days, years, holiday seasons are like that.
And sadly, some aren’t. Some are just plain hard.
Years when loved ones who once were at the very centers of our circles won’t be with us this year.
Maybe they’ve gone on to heaven.
Maybe divorce has removed them from lives and families.
Maybe some friends and family have relocated.
And it’s just not the same, and the feelings are messy, and you just crave the comfort of the old days that you can’t go back to as much as you wish you could.
So many people on my heart this year that this applies to. ❤️🩹
And when I was on my walk with God, I was praying for them. And I was just thinking to myself how we long for something, anything that just stays “the same.”
Something, someone reliable. Infinitely faithful.
A tradition that’s never changing.
A place to go that is always open, never closes shop, never gives up or goes away- Whether by choice or by force.
Like that grandparents’ house that always had an open door and a warm welcome.
Or the place that always “knew your name and were always glad you came” (not the bar, but Cheers 🍻 had a catchy theme song didn’t it?)
Deep down I think in a world that’s constantly changing (and these days, shockingly so), we all just crave something and someone that doesn’t.
On that walk, God reminded me that HE fits that need.
He’s the only one who does!
——-
The next morning I woke up, and my husband’s bracelet caught my eye.
Its letters stand for Jesus Christ Is The Same Yesterday And Today And Forever!
This verse is so perfectly fitting for that craving for something that never changes, isn’t it?
I knew that was it!
There’s no place— no home, no holiday attraction, no church even— like our home in Him! Our “quiet place”, affirming place, place of peace in His presence!
When He gave me this verse it was as if a word that had been in my heart but I couldn’t identify with my mind in order to be able to express FINALLY came out! Such relief to identify the exact thing I was longing for!
And then He brought another verse to mind which I’m sharing below.
I believe someone else may need to hear this today:
God says to you and to me:
*️⃣I have cared for you since you were born.
*️⃣I carried you BEFORE you were born.
*️⃣I will be your God throughout your lifetime—
Until your hair is white with age!
*️⃣I made you and I will care for you!
*️⃣I will carry you along and save you!
(No need to carry it all yourself or save yourself. Not from life, and not even from emotions!)
Wow. God is so so faithfully, reliably, timelessly GOOD.
HE is our real Home. And He never will change! He’s the same loving and sovereign God, yesterday, today, and forever!
Isn’t that a breath of fresh holiday air?🌲 🥰
I hope it brings someone else comfort, joy, and peace today!
The ones that were still on our vine, at the end of the season, and had stubbornly stayed green until the days became too cool to help them ripen.
Well here’s the thing: I love tomatoes y’all. 🍅
I couldn’t stand the thought of throwing them out with the vine, especially now that we are really watching our grocery bills. I didn’t want ONE to be wasted.
So I went outside and began gathering them, to bring in.
Now my kids are used to me going out in late summer, searching the vine for ripe, red ones and bringing them in for our lunches.
But to see me pick the green ones? Well it caused them to do a double-take.
“Did you just pick the green tomatoes?” my teen asked me .
“We don’t pick the green ones, Mommy!” the toddler chimed in.
Which is what I’ve told him time and time again:
“We wait until they’re ready, C! Don’t pick Mommy’s green tomatoes. Only the red ones!”
So he was understandably confused.
I’m not sure how much he understood me, but just for the heck of it I explained that this was the end of the garden for the year, and I was bringing in EVERYTHING, to give it a chance to ripen in the indoor warmth before throwing any out.
It’s been about a week, and slowly but surely they’re turning, some of them. See them? They seem to be cluster-ripening, as if it were contagious or something!
And all week I’ve been watching them and hearing God speak into my soul that such are the times that we are in:
The “end of (this earthly) season” draws nearer and nearer each day.
(No matter how long we have or this earth has, each day is one day closer to the end of harvest season.)
Maybe earlier in our lives, or when the times weren’t so chaotic in this world, we could afford to wait a bit longer.
Maybe we would wait to “harvest” (share the gospel in the hopes to bring people in to Him) a bit longer— when we could c.l.e.a.r.l.y see they’re ready! When all signs were like a bright red stop saying saying “Stop here! Come talk to me! I’m ready!”
But these days? Well those “red tomatoes”- the ones clearly ready- the ones out and knowingly looking for someone to talk to them about Jesus- well maybe it’s just my own perspective, but they seem to be fewer and further between.
Fewer and fewer are growing up in the Church.
Of those in the church, fewer and fewer are taking their faith outside the walls and actually talking about the One who saved and is saving them.
Which means fewer opportunities for people who have never been a part of it all to even hear to begin with…
To me, it seems we are in a “cool” faith climate where the love of many has grown cold. Where the Son’s rays (us, since we are supposed to be extensions of his love) are hitting fewer green tomatoes, so that less are finding the chance to turn red- to get on fire 🔥 for Him!
So these days, I believe that we simply c.a.n.n.o.t. wait for a clearly re(a)d(y) sign.
I really feel like it’s time!
It’s time we start picking ALL the tomatoes! Start bringing ‘em ALL in! Start telling every single person who will listen, the Good News about what Jesus has done for us and wants to do for them!
I think it’s time we stop politely persisting, endlessly, in small talk that never gets passed “How’s the weather!“ or “How’s work?“ or “How are the kids doing in sports and school?” or “Where are you going on fall break?”
I think it’s time to “bring it in” and get real, like a coach does before the last quarter when they know the heat is ON!
Dive right past the small talk and get authentic and real and down to the eternal.
Have the faith talks.
Get past the awkward fact that if we open up that kind of talk they may have questions we can’t answer. That’s OK. When questions are asked, we have a place to go searching- the Bible, and we can do so together. It’s an entry point!
Not all we bring in to conversations like this will ripen. Maybe many won’t.
But SOME WILL.
So don’t give up!
The rate of ripening varies from person to person, but the “bringing them in” is part of the job He has given us!
And when He shows up- I don’t want to explain to Him why I didn’t obey, and left lots of tomatoes out there, green and cold on the vine.
I want to say “I brought them all in, Jesus! As many as I could gather!”
And I want to hear – “Well done, good and faithful servant” ❤️
It’s not our job to ripen, Christian friends. That’s not in our ability. But it is our job to bring people in and give them a c.h.a.n.c.e to— like someone did for us!
It’s not too late. God loves people (even more than I love tomatoes) and He does not want ONE to perish!
I haven’t written on here as much lately. Most of my creative focus is going into the book I’m working on. But I f.e.l.t. this message so much in my heart over the last few weeks that I simply had to share. 🧡
So many things are on my mind in this season of transition for my family and I.
So many fears and inadequacies that I have to take to God, in order to have them transformed into faith.
So many burdens of others that my flesh tries to carry, until I begin to feel myself breaking under the pressure and I have to be reminded by Him that we are called to share in one another’s burdens but we were never asked to carry them. We aren’t even supposed to carry our own. And so it takes me awhile, but eventually I’m reminded to leave those worries for others at the cross too.
I’m reminded to trade them — both of them— the worries for me and worries for them— for worship. I’m reminded I don’t have to know how He will make a way, always.
I can rest in His sovereignty and trust in His goodness and walk each day out singing His praises- because I trust that while I don’t “got this” {for me, or for anyone else}, HE has us all. And loving Him and showing love to others, and obeying him day-by-day is enough!
I r.e.l.y. on my quiet times, where I plug into Him, to armor and recharge my soul! 🔌 ⚔️
The thing is, we don’t HAVE to take quiet time. I’ve seen a lot of posts about how we can pray hurried prayers and it’s ok. And it is. I pray prayers in the midst of the chaos too. It’s not that I’m saying those aren’t good. But I’ll be bold here and say what I’ve found for my own self time and time and time again.
Quick prayers and a verse-a day aren’t enough.
Now, hear me out. I promise I’m not getting legalistic about this. I need my heart on this to come across loud and clear:
It’s not that God doesn’t accept those. He will talk to us any time, any place. It’s just- WE are missing out when we don’t take the time to soak His love in. And there’s no way around that- it usually takes time to really feel recharged in His presence.
Over the years there have been a lot of things that have competed for my time with Him. I won’t go into those here, but think of anything good or bad that can distract us. Think on maybe what has distracted you.
Now here is one that may surprise you: Did you know even ministry can distract us from this quality p.e.r.s.o.n.a.l, intimate time with Him?
There’s a place for ministry in the life of believers of course! We are called to “go into all the nations making disciples”, but the underlying assumption there is that we would go FILLED, we would share from full*. And not a one-time fill, but a DAILY filling. He is our DAILY bread! We need to be perpetually filled!
But sometimes we can get our schedules or our brains so full with stuff- even good stuff- even ministry ideas, that we forget to come to Him just for “our time.”
I really relate my relationship with Jesus through the Holy Spirit as a marriage. And just like with a husband and wife, the commitment may remain if there’s no intimacy but it won’t be as joy-filled. How could it be?
How many of us wives would be fully satisfied and recharged if the only intimacy we had with our husbands was a ”peck” on the way out the door each morning? That’s barely enough to even feel the love and connection right?
But if we aren’t careful that’s how our marriages can end up. Quick pecks as we are running here and there and only occasionally crossing paths.
And if we aren’t careful that’s how our relationship with Jesus can end up too. Losing our selves so much in the busyness of life, ministry… trying to gain the world (souls) for Him, and yet feeling as if we are losing our souls…because without that time with Him our souls feel p.a.r.c.h.e.d!
It doesn’t take me long anymore to sense when I’m missing out on this q.u.a.l.i.t.y. time with Him. I swear it’s like my tolerance for being able to go without it is declining more and more.
I can feel it after a day.
After a week of rushing and not sitting in stillness with Him, I’m a MESS.
The week before last I was away at a youth training, and then a retreat with my husband. Both were AMAZING, but I struggled to make quiet time for just God and I in both of them. (In hindsight I see that He is trying to teach me how to have this, even when I don’t have the physical space I’m used to.)
By the time I got home, and as I tried to jump into normal routines again without a pause, I was acting….let’s call it hangry.
You ever heard someone say “You need to get laid”?
Well God spoke to my heart and said it was kind of like that…except for I needed the intimate, affirmation-receiving time with HIM…
“You just need to get PRAYED, Daylene. That’s all it is. Come get filled. ❤️”
Prayer is so many things. It serves so many purposes. It’s easy to make it just our list of needs, or others’ needs.
But sometimes we need a reminder that above all, prayer gives us what we REALLY need most- HIM. The present of His presence!
When I have quality time with my husband, intimate time, I can’t explain how it calms me. I think scientists say that it actually releases dopamine and oxytocin into my brain, if we want to talk biology. I don’t have to be able to explain it to know that it works.
The same goes for getting “prayed.” I don’t know how He makes me feel better but He does! Every time!
He trades chaos for calm.
Anxiety for affirmation.
“Just a servant” mindset for JOY as He reminds me that is NOT how He sees me or us.
We are His beloveds.
The honeymoon NEVER has to be over with Jesus! (No matter how many “kids” or jobs (ministry projects) we have!)
Soak that in today!
Sit with Him in it!
Sense just how very loved you are…
not for what you do,
but for who(se) you are! ❤️❤️❤️
Say to Him today, Thank you Jesus! That “You are mine…and I am yours.”
I don’t know what you’re going through today, but I DO know a trick that helps me, no matter what I’m going through. And I’d love to share it with you!
When I was pregnant with our rainbow baby after having lost 5 babies, I r•e•l•i•e•d on praise music like never before ✝️ 🎧 🎶 to help me get through!
I listened to it morning, noon, and night to drown out all the doubts and thoughts of fear that tried to constantly bombard my mind.
The enemy always seeks to kill, steal, and destroy- not just pregnancies, but also the other good plans that God has for us.
He wants us to worry, he wants to kill our joy, steal our peace, destroy our sense of security.
But in the presence of God, we can trade- worry for worship; mourning for joy; panicky feelings for supernatural peace; insecurity for HIS security.
We enter into His presence through Thanksgiving and praise, and one of the best ways to foster praise when you don’t feel like praising is to turn on praise music and begin singing the words out loud.
This is one way to make our feelings follow our faith, instead of allowing our faith to be derailed or suffocated by those feelings.
We don’t have to feel guilty for our feelings- they’re natural. But we don’t have to stay stuck in them either! We don’t have to allow them to steal from us, or let them continue to make us feel as if they’re killing us.
We can refuse to let doubts linger in our mind, and one way to do this is by crowding our mind space with POSITIVE, FAITH-FILLED words, and praise music is a great place to fill up with those!
Praise music can be uplifting! Empowering! Emboldening! Peace-bringing!
Are you struggling today?
Get your praise on!
Blare “believing music” in your home.
“Conceal carry”- stick AirPods in your ears and think of yourself with your ears plugged in this way, so you cannot hear the enemy’s lies.
As I was sitting in worship at church this last Sunday, listening to “Raise a Hallelujah” I was reminded of the power of praise music once again with the lyrics that reminded me “my weapon is a melody!” 🎶
Today I wanted to “arm” someone else with this!
One of your best weapons is a melody!
Choose your weapons (the music you’re listening to) wisely, and carry them with you wherever you go!
Earlier this week, I went out to my garden to pick tomatoes 🍅 and got a bonus reminder-lesson along with them.
You see, we have this one “defective” tomato plant with ripe tomatoes that are smaller than my three-year old’s fingernails, it’s so weird.
I have been waiting patiently up to this point, thinking they may start getting more fruit-full, but they haven’t, and now that plant is trying to take over the whole garden!
The other morning I had to pull it back because it was choking out my good plants, but I think I’m going to have to cut that plant out entirely.
As I was considering this God said to me:
“Remember, Daylene, don’t let the little (unimportant) stuff choke out the big (eternally important) stuff.”
It was a needed reminder, as I have found myself getting caught up in little details of projects so much that I was feeling “rotten” and less-than-full because that little stuff was beginning to choke out some of my most fruitful time with Him.
Later that day, He repeated this same theme through a friend as she shared what He had been speaking to her. ❤️
I love how He does that!
Encourages lovingly. Practically.
Repeats Himself.
Repeats Himself through a friend so we understand it’s not just us that struggles with these things.
It’s so common!
We aren’t alone.
And we are better together, reminding one another-
It’s ok to pull up “vines” sometimes –
things that may be full of fruit, even, but not the BEST kind, not the FILLING kind,
Sometimes we MUST prune away the little stuff in our lives- maybe even some stuff that feels big and necessary in this moment- so that the e.t.e.r.n.a.l fruits in our lives {the Word, the time with HIM, the fellowshipping with Him in the center} has space in the garden of our hearts to grow and prosper.
And when we do, we may feel less full in quantity {#s of things to go on our resumes, perhaps, or dollars in the bank} but MORE full in quality!
And what we DO have {especially that relationship with Him}- b.e.c.a.u.s.e we have made room- we are more able to feel thankFULL for!
From Full 