I wrote this message for our youth group yesterday, but I wanted to share it with you all as well, because I feel like it’s something I had to learn as an adult, just over the last few years, and am still learning! And I want nothing more than for my kids to learn this sooner in life, to spare them from some of the inner turmoil that I went through.
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Have you ever heard the phrase “all in”?
Lots of things these days call us to be all in!
Sports, wanting multiple days from us for practice and games.
Jobs, wanting us to be available at any day or hour.
Groups asking us to give them all of our passion and hearts, in order to be a successful part of the tribe.
Even friends can expect us to reply back to their texts and calls instantaneously.
Did you know that God asks us to be ALL IN too?
In Luke 10:25-28 NLT it says:
“One day an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus by asking him this question: “Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus replied, “What does the law of Moses say? How do you read it?” The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” “Right!” Jesus told him. “Do this and you will live!”” So- how can we love God with ALL of our heart, soul, strength, and mind, AND still have room to love our neighbors as ourselves?
Well- the key is knowing that God isn’t like other goals and other things people center their lives around.
All the things want us to be ALL IN, but those things compete against one another and it feels like we can’t win because if we give our all to one, then the rest suffer.
When we give our all to GOD, every area of life, seeking to do life with him and honor him with our lives, he directs our steps. He helps us balance things. He helps us give each place the priority he wants for it to have in our lives.
And while we are in those places, WITH HIM, he helps us be present (not thinking about all the other things and feeling pulled apart), and to focus on loving and reaching people for him, and just glorifying him by shining his Christlike character (the character that looks to serve instead of looking to be served) where he’s placed us.
He helps us to not buy into the enemy’s lies that we have to be the best in order to shine- so that we CAN bring him glory,
And he helps us to know that just being ourselves and just letting his light shine- at home, at school, at work if we have jobs, even while we are just walking around with friends or gathering- just looking for ways to honor him and talk with him and share his love with people in all those things..that’s what he’s looking for.
It’s not pressure, like the world gives, with moments of peace.
It’s peace like the world can’t give, even in the midst of life’s pressures
In John 14:26-27 NIV, Jesus says- “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Decide today that you’re ALL IN, with Jesus.
Know that he’s with you, in ALL that you do.
And then let him teach you to walk in love and experience peace, in every area of your life!
It’s an entirely different way of living, that we want you all to know is available!
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“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” Romans 12:1-2 MSG.
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{PS- I made the picture off-centered on purpose, so that if you wanted to you could use it for your lock-screen, as a reminder. I know that I need that inspiration often!}
“Seriously, frost?” I pouted, as I went out to get in my car this morning. “Nooooo…. not yet.”
“Seriously, is that the way you want to start your day?” said the still, small voice inside. 😉
And no- it really wasn’t.
“Look for the good,” His words bubbled up into my mind, like a piece of broken off ice floats to the surface of a glass.
“Look for the lovely, the praiseworthy.”
So I looked.
Beyond my “overripe” car- as my son calls it. (Overripe because she’s a sight, lol. And a SOUND! 🤪)
Red as a tomato.
So loud with her fallen-off-muffler that my daughter calls her a cowsquito. 🐄 🦟 (Think both of those sounds, combined and amplified, and that’s what she sounds like when I hit the gas. 😬)
I looked beyond her over-ripeness and her noise, and thanked God that she’s still running 14 years after we got her. 🚗 Thanked him that she still gets me around town!
I looked closely at the windshield, with its one wiper not working, and then chose to look closer yet as I was scraping it off.
Have y’all ever noticed how truly ornate and beautiful frost is? ❄️ It’s surely not my favorite, being cold, but there’s no denying God’s artistry in snowflakes and frost crystals!
Have y’all noticed how warm 🔥 and inviting and cozy homes feel, when it’s frosty? How thankful you become to have heat, when you’ve been out in the cold for awhile?
There’s so many things I’m looking forward to this winter, even though I’m so not ready for it to be here. But there’s PLENTY of praiseworthy to be found!
I believe it’s going to be a season of even more gathering! A season where some will finally get a moment to slow down. To get together. To grow in their relationships with God, and get plugged into a group!
I believe it’s a season where He’s asking me to take everything I learned in my past life, and do it for him. Gather to honor him! Connect because I want people to know his love! See hurting hearts and share the BEST healer. The BEST opportunity! The chance to get in on the eternally good stuff.
I believe it’s a season where we are going to see MANY get saved!
A season of AMAZING GRACE!
How sweet that sounds! ❤️ 🎵
And as I was thinking on all this today- all this good and beautiful- the praises grew so loud in my mind, that I forgot all about the cold, and the cow-squito sounds! 😉 🙌❤️🙌
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Philippians 4:8 -“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—keep thinking about these things.”
“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree. {From Jeremiah 29:13-14 MSG}
I love looking for shadow crosses and hidden crosses everywhere I go.
But even more than that, I love looking for God’s beauty everywhere I go too.
It can be found everywhere, you know.
☀️ In the sunshine spilling through the windows, shining its beautiful glow against the wall.
Thank you, God, for the sun. And how you created it just for us. You placed it at just the perfect distance from the Earth so that it would keep us just the right temperature. That’s no coincidence, no matter what scientist believes it is.
Thank you for how when I close my eyes and put my face in its glow, it makes me feel at peace. It even gives my body some vitamin D that you designed me to need. And it reminds me that, when I’m in heaven, YOU will be the Source of all light and peace and provision, and there will be NO dark that tries to overshadow your presence.
🍁 In the leaves, masterpiece-artwork on the trees, one last “grand finale” explosion of color, before they depart for a season. Before winter comes and paints on its white caps of snow for a time.
Thank you, God, for a reminder that all of the colors are better together! Not one of them any more beautiful than the other, but the combination of all of them- breathtaking! Worth pausing and admiring! 🍃 🍁 🍂 A reminder that you know what you’re doing when you create us differently. And not just our skin colors, but our gifts and talents and love languages. None of us able to fully describe or reflect your beauty, individually, but together- and still falling short of the fullness of your glory- we come closer. All the colors, more able to paint a picture of your magnificence! But yet all the colors in this world still pale in comparison to the show heaven-colors will display for us!
Thank you, God, for seasons! 🌸 ☀️ 🍁 ❄️ Though we may enjoy some of them better than others, each one has an important role. Each one can serve to teach us something. And the fact that they come and go, reminds us that— if we hang on long enough, even in the deepest of winter ❄️ when things feel cold and dreary and dark— you will bring Spring and life and light again! In the bad days, we can be certain that good will come back around! But it’s you, Jesus, the Son, the Sun-shine in our souls, that bring light to ALL the seasons! No matter what it’s doing outside, or in the world around us, your presence brings joy and peace and warmth to our hearts. And your faithful sun, making its appearance in each season, is a great reminder of that, each day with its rising again! 🌅
〰️〰️〰️ With the sun, we can position ourselves in a place to be more likely to see its beauty. More likely to see it rising in the sky, spilling its light and colors into the world around it!
Our family went camping back in September at Brown County in Southern Indiana. And we intentionally got up early one morning so that we could witness the sun rising over the hilltops, at the overlook down the road from our site. 🌄 It was GORGEOUS, and so worth it! But was it still hard to get ourselves out of bed to make that happen? Yes it was. We aren’t early-morning people by nature.
God showed me that seeking Him and finding Him everywhere can be like that too. Sometimes it’s not natural. Sometimes we don’t just “happen upon Him.” Sometimes we have to LOOK to find His goodness in a situation. And sometimes we have to look REAL HARD, with our eyes of faith instead of our natural eyes, because it can look like there can be nothing good in what we are seeing in some moments.
But if we go looking for Him, we will find Him.
Yes, when we get serious about finding Him and want it more than anything else, He will make sure we won’t be disappointed.”
He decreed it. And- even if we feel like its delayed sometimes- {He works in His own timing, not ours}, He ALWAYS keeps His Word.
Its message caught my eye as I drove past the first time.
“I feel ya, light pole” was my first thought.
Aren’t we all under repair?
I have the light of Jesus in me, but sometimes the pole I try to hold it up and out on feels broken.
Sometimes I wish people would understand that Christians aren’t actually capable of being perfect.
That’s a lot of pressure, being held to a standard like that.
Sometimes I wonder if people would be more understanding and compassionate towards one another if we all wore what we were going through like the label on this light pole:
My “on this day” memories this morning reminded me that on this day 4 years ago I was struggling to keep a smile on my face at a friend’s baby shower. Genuinely happy for her, but in the midst of our season of multiple miscarriage and infertility, and inside wondering both why — why were we going through that, and why couldn’t I just get peace and be done trying for another…
My label might have looked like this on that day:
Fragile: Smile is held together by tape. Handle with care.
Or three years ago on this day, as my dad was battling for his life again in the hospital.
My label might’ve said:
Trying to keep faith, despite what seems dire and impossible. Light under construction. (You see, us Christians don’t just receive a full measure of faith from the start, we get a tiny bit. And we have to grow it. And growing comes with a lot of pains. It’s really hard sometimes to believe, despite what you see. And yet he did pull through that time and was blessed with 2 more years.)
Or these days, in the midst of everything going on in this world. Yet trying my very best to steward well everything in my own little corner of it.
My marriage. My children. My position as our homeschool coordinator/teacher. Our family time. Extended family time. Church family time. Youth group. Women’s ministry inside & outside our circles. My shirt biz. Some side gigs in social media work.
Wanting nothing more than to spend all my time reading about Jesus, but following his lead that we can have a little reading time, yet most of our training in becoming Christ-like is “on the job.”
Running full speed ahead in ALL those things, because I truly love Him and I love people, and I want to do my very best in every thing he leads me to.
Some days wondering if I’m getting it all wrong. Asking and re-asking him often, in my different work areas, “Did I hear you right? I just want to be sure. Because when you say to stay I’ll stay and when you say to go I’ll go.”
My label would probably read this in this season: Caution: Light shines ultra brightly sometimes. You may want to wear sunglasses if you’re sensitive. Also, sometimes it goes really dim. We are working on that. – Signed, the Management (Father, Son, & Holy Spirit.)
Because yeah- Sometimes I’m so full of fire for Jesus and I can’t filter it. I can’t contain it. I don’t feel sorry about that either. But some people don’t like it. It’s “a little much” for some. And that’s ok. It’s not like I can control it. When the Spirit fills, He fills, and passion is simply the overflow!
And also yeah- Sometimes I get so busy in all of the work that he calls me to do, that I find our quiet times- and therefore my passion- getting “burnt out” too. And he has to remind me to fast for awhile, so that he can “change the bulb”.
Light under repair.
That’s what we always and forever will be, while also simultaneously shining.
Until we get to heaven. And it’ll be ALL shining there! No bulb needed anymore. HE will be our light, and we will all perfectly reflect His love!
I think people need to share both of those things more often, don’t you?
I think if more people shared about both the blessings and the normal little battles in marriage, then it would help other couples find comfort in being able to relate.
It would encourage them seek marriage to begin with – to see it as a desirable, worthy, blessing of a thing, not a “ball and chain.”
It would encourage them, in the middle of their battles, to hang on. To handle things a different way. To know, on the flip side of every opportunity to pull away from our spouses, God has placed an opportunity to lean in and grow together instead of grow apart.
There’s not many standing up and speaking out for Biblical marriage in this day and age: 1 man, 1 woman, in good times and bad, when they’re pleasing each other & when they’re “growing” each other, til death do they part.
There’s also not many Christian married couples who are brave enough to show their real. You know, not just the cute selfies (though those are real, and a real blessing too), but also the stuff like I’m getting ready to share.
The stuff I’m fairly certain every married couple goes through, but nobody wants to talk about it —because, well, we don’t even want to go through it let alone rehash it again in a post.
The stuff all the single people who are longing to find a soulmate may shame us for sharing because they say we should cherish one another and that if they were in our position, they’d just naturally look past all the little offenses. (They wouldn’t, though, because looking past offenses is not at all natural. It takes help. And practice. 16 years into marriage, and a great marriage I would say, and yet my husband and I still offend each other often and have to put love into practice intentionally.)
I get it, I do. Not wanting to share. I don’t make a habit of airing out my “dirty laundry” in this place either.
But there’s a difference between venting and complaining about your spouse on social media, and being authentic and secure enough in your marriage to let God use your silly little spats (& his subsequent, ultra-good guidance) to show others that they’re normal. To show them that it’s probably not just a you and your husband thing, when y’all disagree, it’s probably a women-men thing.
My husband and I found the marriage class in our church to be so freeing because it showed us that very thing: that most couples have the same issues, and it’s because men and women’s brains are wired differently, and no matter how long we are married we will never be the same.
And that’s ok! If God wanted us to be the same, he would have not have specified that female and male were created to be partnered with one another. And once partnered, permanently. {And no matter what anyone else is preaching these days, I will stick with what the Bible says on that. I don’t make the rules in my world, I just try my best to live by the rule of the One who did make the world and all of us who are in it.}
Honestly, there’s too much gender confusion going on in this world in my opinion, and I really believe most of it boils down to the fact that nobody is teaching the difference in the genders other than our anatomy.
We need to understand it’s not just our “parts” that make us different, but also our minds, and our souls.
We were not created to feel the same and think the same all the time. And – contrary to what Hallmark conditions us to believe, we weren’t even designed just to make each other happy. {There’s a really good book called Sacred Marriage that talks all about that.}
God puts us in relationship with our spouse, in the context of a committed marriage, both to be each other’s help meets AND to sharpen each other.
Iron against iron.
My sharp edges against my husband’s, his against mine.
And you know what? That doesn’t always feel good.
But it’s supposed to teach us and condition us over time to be quicker to forgive, quicker to lean in when we want to pull away, quicker to love “our enemy” who is really our partner and best friend- but in some moments FEELS like they’re against us.
It’s good practice for other relationships, it really is.
So- last night my husband and I got some practice. 😉 {Yeah- here’s where I get to the authentic part.}
Sometimes our days go so fast- my husband’s at work, mine at home with the kids- homeschooling, toddler/preschool-wrangling, housekeeping and odd-job doing…
Sometimes we don’t take the time we know we should – to transition into “together” mode, which again- seems like it should be natural after 16 years of marriage and 20 years of relationship, but it’s not.
And by that I mean this:
I am an introvert. I get energy from being alone. But the thing is- now that I homeschool, I’m almost NEVER alone. So by the end of the day, I am drained of energy, and would like nothing more than an hour of time to recharge before spending more together time with anyone (which I love, it’s just not energizing for me).
My husband is an extrovert. He gets energy from being together with the people he loves. But the thing is- he doesn’t get to be home with us all day doing the things we love together. He spends his days working hard at a stressful job. So by the end of the day, he is drained of energy and ready for a recharge too- in togetherness. He needs me to be able to give him that. And it doesn’t make sense to him that all day I can be energetically texting him, excited for our evening together, but by the time he gets home I’m spent.
We are different.
When I am intentional to take an hour alone before he gets home, to recharge, so that I can enjoy togetherness which recharges him, things go much better.
But sometimes I forget. Or I get so busy trying to get all the things done, that it doesn’t happen.
Yesterday I forgot.
Yesterday I was busy trying to help mow the yard before he got home, planning for my son to take over when my hubby got home- so that we could edit our podcast together, which is one way he enjoys spending our time with each other.
Yesterday my hubby didn’t pause either on his way home, to remember we are different.
He came home, found me mowing instead of ready to spend time together like he had been looking forward to, and assumed I wasn’t prioritizing what was important to him. He didn’t give me the chance to tell him that I was tagging my son in. He just let me know, in words, that he wished I would have been ready to podcast.
They weren’t even mean words, y’all…
but to a girl whose love language is words of affirmation…
and to a girl who was doing her best to love him all day through acts of service (not his love language, but necessary in a household)…
for him to express that he didn’t feel appreciative and he didn’t feel respected, that FELT so unloving.
And what do we do, women, when we feel unloved? We disrespect.
Oh boy did I disrespect. I let him know that he was being insensitive. Unappreciative. Jerky.
I dramatically finished mowing the lawn. Dramatically made dinner, and plopped it in front of him, “pleasantly” (Y’all know what I mean by this- nice, but overly nice. Like- “Dude, you’re so lucky I’m making you dinner when I’d rather throw it at your face right now.” 🤪)
And then I became even more emotional when he wouldn’t eat the dinner, which he was “lucky” I had prepared for him after the way he greeted me when he came home.
This turned into tears.
And each of us punishing each other in our own love language.
(Do you do that, y’all? We never noticed until about a year ago but we do. And talking to other couples I think that’s totally normal.)
Me- giving him the silent treatment. (Withholding words.)
Him- withdrawing from me, refusing to be in the same room. (Withholding time.)
The biggest problem with that tendency, y’all, is that it doesn’t really get our point across.
It only punishes ourselves.
Because when we fight anyway, he doesn’t want to talk and I don’t want to be in the same room.
But I really DO want to talk, and he really DOES want to be in the same room, and yet it’s our own selves preventing each of those things.
So when we withhold those things, it does nothing to make the other understand our side of the issue, all it does is put a wall up between our hearts and being able to connect with one another.
But you know what does connect us?
Love.
And you know who the source of all love is?
God.
He is the place where we can go to get it when we are momentarily not “feeling it.”
He is the place where we can ALWAYS receive our receiving love-language (He always has words for me and he always has time for my husband)…
He is the place where we can go, to ask for the brand that our spouse needs us to be able to give them… (I can ask Him for the ability to forgive my husband and desire to spend time with him – just like I would naturally if he were saying kind words to me; and my husband can ask God for the ability to forgive me and say kind things to me and have conversation with me when he’d rather shut down.)
So that’s what happened yesterday.
I was in the bathroom, pouting, waiting for my hubby to leave for bowling so that I could have some alone time and recharge, and God met me in the bathroom.
“Go after him,” he said.
“Leave your own stuff for later. Go watch him bowl.”
“Lean in, stick together, when you most want to pull away.”
“Trust me. I know best. I know his heart. It’ll work.”
So I did.
I drove to the bowling alley.
I prayed on the way there.
I warfared for my marriage, declaring to the enemy out loud that he wasn’t going to win.
Ladies- sometimes we have to fight for our marriages…
and sometimes the person we most have to fight is our SELVES.
Our right to be self-ish, self-centered.
We must resist the enemy and his temptations to make things all about us. And then he will flee from us. And God will counsel us.
So I walk in the bowling alley and I can tell my hubby is surprised to see me.
I smile at him… a genuine smile, not fake in any way.
You see, God already wiped the slate of my heart clean, magically (I don’t know how he does it) on the way over!
I say to him “I thought you could use a cheerleader tonight”, and then I go to the food counter to buy him some breadsticks because I know he hasn’t eaten yet (he pushed aside dinner earlier, when we were both being dramatic.)
But I knew he was hungry. He had worked hard all day.
And because God had helped me fill his deeper hunger by showing up – which was needing to know I wanted to spend time with him…he instantly forgave me and could eat.
So we shared an order of breadsticks and a smile. And all was right and good again. Instantly!
God knew what we both needed. He is AMAZING like that! The perfect translator between two very different souls!
Sitting there, present, unhurried for a rare moment, I was observant.
I picked up a bottle of Krazy glue that was sitting on the table, remembering how my hubby mentioned needing it for bowling but realizing all of a sudden I hadn’t actually listened to w.h.y….and becoming curious about this.
“It’s to keep the ball from sticking to my hands”, he shared, graciously, again.
Running my fingers over his super-glue-smooth hands, I asked more questions.
“How long does that stay on??”
“A few days”, he said.
Wow. It hit me just then.
Had I ever noticed the glue on his hands for days? No. Which means that we haven’t been holding hands enough during the week.
A God reminder.
And then one last God-wink, just to show me he had been ahead of this whole event, already prepared to encourage:
The glue bottle caught my eye again.
And he repeated to my heart:
“Always choose to STICK together (bond together like super glue) when you find yourselves pulling part…”
You know, God puts dreams in our hearts sometimes that are AMAZING!! And when we first hear, something in us believes, jumps, and gives us this crazy burst of energy to get started. I really believe it is the power of the Holy Spirit that does this!
The problem is, as time goes on a bit and the initial excitement wears off, it is easy to start digging up that seed of hope he has planted in us. We start doubting what we heard. We start doubting our capability to get the job done. We start looking up to the top of the mountain and realizing just how far of a climb it is going to be!
We have to be very careful not to dig up in doubt what we planted in faith. Or dig ourselves up in doubt- from the places he planted us!
How can a seed grow into a flower if we don’t give it rich soil, water, sunlight, and a little time?
Doubt is one of our enemy’s biggest tools. And he knows that what we hear repeatedly we start to believe. So he whispers lies in our ear. “You’ll never amount to anything.” “It can’t be done.” “It’s too big of a mountain.” “You don’t have what it takes.” “Nobody even cares anyway, your work won’t make a difference.”
That’s why it is so important to stay in the word throughout our day.
To listen to encouraging Truth-filled podcasts, or uplifting Christian music.
To keep in the faith and drown out the fear.
When Jesus was tempted, he didn’t just ignore the devil. He quoted scripture to him! He fought lies with truth!
Hebrews 12:1-3 says, “Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses let us THROW OFF everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with PERSEVERANCE the race marked out for us. Let us FIX OUR EYES ON JESUS, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross scorning it’s Shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you will NOT GROW WEARY AND LOSE HEART.”
Three keys that I’ve capitalized here I believe are very important to take note of. They’re like a battle plan!
1.) THROW off everything that hinders. Not wish it away. Throw it off! Make a conscious effort to throw off doubt, distractions, feelings of inadequacy. Throw off the lies!! If a huge spider landed on your shoulder would you let it linger awhile or immediately throw it off? Doubt is that big hairy spider!! 🕷
2.) Run with PERSEVERANCE. Keep doing what is right! Keep throwing off those lies! Keep speaking out the truth! Galatians 6:9 says “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
3.) FIX YOUR EYES ON JESUS- by keeping our eyes on the prize and not the things that try to ensnare us on the way to it, it will become easier to not give up!
If God has planted a promise in you, and you’re believing for it to grow- guard that seed like the treasure it is!
Don’t let anyone dig it up, and certainly don’t dig it up yourself!
It may take time.
Sometimes it takes WAYYY more time than we want.
And sometimes it looks entirely different than what we thought it’d look like too. 🌻
But God is good. And when our hearts are set on him, he can do far more in and with our lives than we ever imagined!
I wrote this three years ago during a season that was filled with fear for me (pregnancy with our youngest after 5 losses). Today though, I’m snuggling him as I browse through “on this day” memories, thanking God for walking me through that fiery trial, and passing what he taught me back then on to you:
If you are currently in a season of overwhelming fear, doubt, anxiety, or worry- today’s post is for you. I pray this calms your soul and brings peace to your weary mind. 💖
〰️〰️〰️〰️ During my other pregnancies in my blogging years, each time I felt doubt and fear, I wrote about it, convinced that it would make me feel better.
This time around, and especially in my first/early second trimester (which is by far the most stressful in pregnancy after loss) I tried something new.
Instead of writing about and focusing on my doubts, worries, and fears, I would give God time to speak to my heart about them. I’d message a Christian friend and ask for prayer and encouragement. I’d write them in a journal, and beside them I would write down affirmations to counteract the doubts, using what GOD says in his word.
These were safe ways to process those feelings and move past them, rather than trying to hide from them in busyness, suppress them in denial, or focus on them by sharing them with the world.
Here is what I jotted down in my phone notes on 6/8/18.
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Psalm 91:1-6 NIV
“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.” 〰️〰️〰️ Dwell.
What does it mean to dwell?
What is a dwelling?
It is where you live.
Whoever DWELLS in the shelter of the Most High will REST in the shadow of the Almighty.
This means we must not dwell (live) in our worries.
While we may still have to go through them, we can’t set up camp there.
Don’t make a home in your negative thoughts.
Walk right on through them.
Make God your settling place.
Take shelter from life’s storms in his word.
Stop dwelling on your circumstances.
Acknowledge them, pray, then choose to look away and dwell in God instead.
If you need help, ask- what does the Bible say God likes? The Bible says we can enter his courts (come into his presence) with Thanksgiving & Praise. He also values our love for him and for others- those are his two biggest commands.
Thanksgiving – what IS going right that you’re thankful for? Write those things out. Thank him out loud for them in prayer.
Praise- what amazing qualities of God or miracles have you witnessed in the past? Journal them. These will build your faith and your confidence in his ability to work miracles in your future.
Concern for others above ourselves- who can you bring joy to today? Who can you encourage, where you are, with what you have? Do one kind thing for someone today.
Keeping our eyes above the waves is not easy. But choosing to dwell on God and doing these things, makes it more possible.
This past week my husband had been sick, and I had been pouty.
Not on purpose, of course.
It’s just- when we are sick we aren’t ourselves.
And even when someone else is going above and beyond to care for us, sometimes we can’t see past our own needs to remember that their need for care didn’t come to a complete halt when ours increased.
Lately in our marriage we have been in a better place of give and take.
Me, aiming to give him quality time which is his love language, and him- aiming to make part of that time together available for me to just talk my heart out, and be affirmed by him, because words of affirmation are my biggest love language.
{It’s why I write. It helps me process and digest God’s love. And sharing it here, for me, feels like passing that love on in the way I best know how.}
But when one of us is sick, or something comes up, or we get too busy, our normal routines, our “fruits” of love that we aim to share with one another can go out the window.
And when fruit flies out the window, what normally happens? Somewhere, there’s a splatter.
That’s kind of how my heart felt by Thursday, when we were supposed to go on a date.
Truthfully, I wasn’t really feeling it either in the moment, but thought we should probably go anyway, to invest in our relationship. Especially since by that point I thought he was feeling much better. {Clarification, in this paranoid time, it wasn’t COVID. 😉 It’s a gut issue he deals with from time to time.}
But when I asked him if we should get ready to go, and he bluntly said no, that was the “splatter” point for me. I came undone. {Looking back I can see that he wouldn’t understand how hurtful it felt, because his love language isn’t words. To him, he was only answering my question. But to me, it felt like a knife in the heart. Like “Really?! I’ve been offering my time (his love language) to you all week, checking on you, asking often how you’re feeling, praying for you (my love language, words). And you aren’t even appreciating it? This is the thanks I get?”
{Part of sharing whatever God asks me to, and being an open book isn’t pretty. This is one of those post-parts that I truly hate to share. But what happens next is what makes it worth it.}
So- I go outside, looking to self-soothe on a walk. Knowing that even though my hubby is usually a good comforter, when the source of my upset is anything other than him…but that when the tension is between us {and even in those other instances}, my HEAVENLY Hubby – Jesus – is always there, wanting to help.
He’s our eternal partner, comforter, you know?
And we don’t have to wait until eternity to experience his personal presence.
He wants us to learn to walk in that now.
So- we literally went on a walk, Jesus and I.
Him not physically beside me, but spiritually present through the HS so that I could palpably feel Him.
Like a friend venting to a friend, a spouse venting to a spouse, I started to vent to him.
Jesus, I have been doing my best, and I did snap, I know, I need to ask for his forgiveness, but I need my hubby to love on me too.
Even before this week, it’s been a bit “off.”
We haven’t had regular dates like we agreed we should.
His kisses have been short.
Our conversations have been shallow.
And – you know what- this is so random, but I REALLY miss hearing him play his guitar.
It brings me such peace and joy and rootedness in you, when he gives me that gift of live music in our home (that I don’t have, I am not melodic myself).
It soothes my soul.
Especially when it’s a faith song, because I can sense that He is getting rooted in you too and that makes me feel even more secure.
Holy Spirit translated Jesus’s message back to me- in my soul:
It’s ok. I know. I became/am human too you know?
{Along with still being fully God of course.}
I did that so I could understand…REALLY UNDERSTAND.
And I feel this way too anytime someone (including you), lets life and busyness and all the things come between us, so that the love is muffled.
That’s the deeper issue, you know?
Your hubby’s love is a good bonus, but you’ve been a bit busier yourself lately.
You’re missing your time with ME, even more than with him.
And this isn’t in a guilting-way I’m saying this. It’s nothing but grace. You’ve been taking care of our Home, I know. Our family. My people. It’s all good work, and you’re doing it for me. But- let’s get away for “dates” more often, shall we? I think you really need that.
Step 1- Let Jesus soothe me and fill me, so that I can go back home and serve. ✔️
He has shown me to do this over the past several years of our walk together.
He lets me vent.
Then he reminds me, to get into gratitude and Thanksgiving for HIM.
It helps me enter into his presence and meets the need by helping me tune into Him.
That’s where I find his words. {My love language needs are met.}
He brings up verses from the Bible- like pieces of love letters and guidance written personally to me {and you} long before we were ever born, knowing that we would need them.
Because he is amazing like that!
Then we move into intercession. He reminds me to re-center the issue. To think the best of the person I’m venting to him about. To ask him to help me see if from their viewpoint, and from His, so I’m not stuck in my own language and limited perspective.
Jesus is such a good, Truth-filled friend.
He IS Truth, friends.
“Your hubby loves you, Daylene.
Not just this one—me—but Brett too.
I know sometimes he’s not the best at words,
but sometimes you’re not the best at time either.
There’s a reason opposites attract, and it’s not just so you can “complete each other.”
You’re only complete in me.
The real reason is so you’ll sharpen each other.
Iron sharpens iron.
Sometimes it hurts when the blades of our differences scrape against each other.
But bring it to me. I’m doing a work.
I don’t intend for you to totally mesh together so that you’ll never feel offended- (don’t you see even couples married for 50 years still have opportunities to get offended?)
Your commitment to one another and your love for one another, compelling you to always stay,
along with the enemy and your feelings occasionally tempting you to run (moreso, for you, as in hiding your heart. I know you don’t have any desire to actually leave.)
I know you love him.
You just sometimes need to vent in order to process, (you’re a woman),
and he sometimes just needs to pause to process (he’s a man).
And that’s why I’m the go between.
I can pause with him and I can process with you!”
W-O-W.
Jesus is the best therapist ever!
And he gives his counsel away freely!
So anyway… this story is becoming long but hang in there because it’s all important and you HAVE to hear what he did next!
So… by this time I have walked back home. Feeling much better, having had processing time with my Heavenly hubby, and feeling filled by and ok in him.
{But still of course, I will forever desire lots of long kisses from my husband, time to chat together, and his guitar music strumming the chords of my soul…. 💕 Those are the brand of things in life we could never get too much of! The good stuff. Even when Jesus is the best, good stuff is still good. And it comes from God. It’s a gift from God.}
So- my daughter meets me outside, (she’s a girl, she gets me), asking if I need to talk. We don’t go into details but I do share with her as I often do, that marriages are wonderful, but they’re not 24/7 fairytales and sometimes it just takes a moment with Jesus to get past the male/female difference. {I’m preparing her for reality. BOTH the wonders that I want her to savor and the dangers that she’ll need to know how to navigate around, with Holy Spirit guiding her.}
I don’t think much of that at the time. It’s normal.
Then I go inside, and my 2 year old greets me with “Mommy!!!! I need kisses!!” – at which I happily cover his precious face in pecks, and he returns the love with slobbery smooches all over mine. 😍
Again, I don’t think much of it at the time.
Totally normal.
Later that evening, after the dinner, after the cleaning, after my hubby went up to bed before me and didn’t give me a kiss goodnight (though I knew he loved me and that he would when I came up if I asked, so I wasn’t even thinking about it or mad)— I sat in the chair in our living room, and prayed.
I prayed for Jesus to fill me with his joy so I could go upstairs and give Brett’s love language of time instead of just doing my own thing and drowning my feelings in work, (which would also be punishing him as a side-effect by withholding that togetherness.)
I prayed for Brett again that he would feel better.
Intensely I prayed that. I hate seeing my loved ones suffer.
I prayed that God would fill his heart to overflowing too and that the kisses and talking and guitar playing would just return organically out of the overflow of his heart, not because I was coercing him.
And then I sat there, in the quiet
which was “interrupted” by a tune coming from downstairs.
One of our old special songs being strummed on the acoustic guitar!
My heart leapt!
The music stopped.
Footsteps plodded up the stairs.
I had a huge smile on my face, expecting to see my hubby hang the guitar back in its place. Being amazed at how quickly my prayer had been answered!
And…nope! It was my 14 year old son.
The tears that were absent this whole time POURED out of my eyes.
Y’all, B hasn’t hardly ever played guitar on his own accord. I had no idea he even remembered that song my hubby taught him!
But here he played- downstairs in his room.
Not even knowing it was for me-
But it was for me!
The Holy Spirit had prompted him!
He told me so Himself.
And then HS added-
That talk from your daughter?
Those kisses from your little?
That was me too!
I gave you all 3 things you prayed for –
AND, I did give them to you through your hubby
just not like you expected!
{Don’t you see—your children were all 3 a gift from both me and Brett? You wouldn’t have them without him.}
SOOOOO cool, y’all!!
I just bawled. And asked B to play more. He asked me why I was crying and I told him they were happy tears and explained it to him, again not TOO personally, but so that he’d understand the men/women difference for his future marriage too. And how wonderful and essential it is to have God at the center. ❤️
And then I went to bed- and snuggled my hubby. Having fully forgiven, and asking for his forgiveness for my part, and 💯 filled by Jesus.
Not even telling Brett what had happened.
It was too good for words at the time.
But the next day?
He felt good enough and asked if he could take me on a date. I got kisses and my door opened. I got to share my heart on some other things God had talked to me about.
And the day after that?
Sitting out by the campfire in the evening, my son again grabs the guitar and plays for me because he now knows how much I treasure that.
Heart totally full, and what happens?
My hubby-all on his own- takes the guitar for a moment and plays a worship tune!
And a smile rose from within me, inextinguishable!
I couldn’t keep that grin in!
And he asked me why I was so happy.
Why was I smiling at him like that?
So I got to share. ❤️❤️❤️
Jesus filled me, and he threw in a tune too!
He’s the God that doesn’t stop at 💯, he OVERFLOWS until our joy spills over, and can’t NOT be shared!
So this post – it’s that- overflow,
because I want everyone to experience this too! He will do the same for you, if you let him! He’s the God that guides and fills and cares!
When you see it once, you begin to look for and find Him everywhere!
You look up each time, and say “Thank you, God, I know that was you!”
There, beyond it all,
It’s ALWAYS been you.
All good gifts come from you!
〰️〰️〰️
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows,”
“C!!! Nooooooooo!” I heard our middle child scream from downstairs. Followed by wails from our little guy.
“That was mom’s bluebird! She loves that! She’s going to be so so sad!!”
Running downstairs to see what the commotion was, I find my beautiful, smooth-glass bluebird with its tail broken into dozens of pieces.
C had apparently decided it needed to fly {that’s only speculation, of course, which I hadn’t considered until just now as I went to write this, because he’s a toddler and he can’t express to me what his intentions were.}
But I imagine he had climbed and picked it up off the bookshelf I had it adorning, and chucked it across the living room to the tile by our back glass door, in an attempt to set it free with the other bluebirds. 🥴
He’s been watching blue jays out the window all week. Guess he didn’t know this wasn’t the flying sort. 🤷🏼♀️
I was so not happy. His middle name even came out. “That’s not a toy!!! That’s momma’s treasure!! Why did you break that? That makes momma so sad!!” I hollered, adding to the chaos with my own.
I’m not really a tchotchkes kind of girl. I don’t like too many trinkets setting on my shelves. The few I do have are meaningful. And bluebirds for me remind me of my grandpa who went to heaven several years ago. But this one wasn’t even from him. I don’t even know if I can consider it a gift at all. One year when the older two were too little to browse Amazon themselves, they asked me if they could get me a bluebird for Christmas and this was the result. Normally I would have dismissed the request because I like it better when someone else picks out gifts for me, but this one I loved the minute I saw it. Its glass was so smooth, and when the light streamed through it, it seemed to glow! It really was beautiful.
I sighed as I looked at all the broken tail pieces that A had scooped up in her hands. “I can put them back together, mom. I’ll find some super glue.”
“No. I appreciate it, but this one is beyond super glue. We will just have to toss it in the trash.”
Looking back at C, frustrated, I repeated my earlier statement. “Little mister, momma is not happy. Why did you break my treasure??”
By then he felt bad, I think. Or maybe he just wasn’t digging time out.
“I sorry. I sorry I break bluebird momma. I sorry I break your treasure,” as he reached and attached his arms behind my neck, in an attempt for me to pick him up off the chair.
I couldn’t resist. I scooped that boy up and hugged him.
The minute I heard the word “treasure” come out of his lips, the Holy Spirit convicted me for having used that word.
“Treasure” is our word. It’s the one C tells me that I am, when he feels extra lovey. He will look right into my eyes and say “You are treasure, momma.” He does that because I tell him that often. “You are a treasure, sweet boy.” {He is the treasure at the end of our 5-miscarriage rainbow. ❤️}
“Oh buddy”, I said, “I’m sorry too. I forgive you. Stuff isn’t my treasure, you are. And bubby and sissy and daddy….”
Guess I needed this lesson as much as C needed a lesson not to get things off the shelf.
After my “time out”, God gave me a teaching talk too:
“Don’t hoard treasure down here …
Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe…
It’s obvious, isn’t it?
The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.”
Matthew 6:19-21 MSG
A reminder even more beautiful than my bluebird figuringe in its prime, now tailless and placed on a more out-of-reach shelf, by my daughter, who was unable to let it stay in the trashcan.
And even though I had decided by then that the memory attached to it was all I needed to keep, that stuff didn’t matter so much after all…
I think I’ll leave it sitting there, to serve as that very reminder.
And also to remind me, even when our “tail” breaks, even when we feel shattered, even when we make mistakes or are hurt by others in a way that would leave us easily discarded by the world, God isn’t like that. He can’t bear to see us call ourselves trash.
He scoops us back out of that pile, and maybe he fixes our “tail” or maybe he doesn’t. Maybe the lesson is more important than the arm or the leg or the broken place in our memory bank.
The lesson being this:
Whether or not we think we are beautiful, or whole, or glowing, or shelf-worthy, God… he looks at us and he forever calls us “TREASURE.”
So that when we’d be inevitably looking down after a storm- we’d still see the UP, reflected in the puddles, reminding us to turn our face to the sky again? ⛅️
The clouds are going to clear!
And even before there’s sun in the sky, it can rise in our souls!
From Full 