Last week, my six year old and I were talking after he’d just had a friend over to our house to play. “Mom, I want go to his house soon!” he said to me. To which I replied, “Oh that would be fun! But we don’t invite ourselves over, ok?”
Fast forward a week- and that same friend’s mom, who happens to be my good friend, was having a rough day and feeling overwhelmed by housework, so what did I do? Invited us over lol. Me- to help her clean, and C to play with her boys. And it was great!
Honestly- I love it when a friend feels close enough to me to allow me to come visit and clean with them. There’s something about them- or someone who is comfortable enough to curl up on the sofa and fall asleep in my house- that is just a special level of real and comfortable!
I left that visit fully recharged, as did she I think. And I know it wasn’t just because of the Alani’s we enjoyed as we were cleaning. 😉
Two days later- and this time I was the one feeling overwhelmed. Like a-crazy-high-level-of-spiritual-warfare overwhelmed, immediately after teaching a solitude class on encountering the enemy in solitude. (Predictable, huh? 😬 😣)
I was so overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts that I left the sanctuary and went to my van for a good cry and to try to pray my way out of it.
When that didn’t work, I messaged a few friends a quick “need prayer ASAP” message. And then I did something I wouldn’t normally do- I asked one of them, desperately, if I could drive to her house today (an hour away), and visit with her. Because she’s in a very similar place in life that I am right now, and as I was pleading with God to tell me who I could go to to share this particular burden, who would understand, He brought her to mind. And I knew she wouldn’t mind me asking. So I did. And she said yes.
After church was over, my husband took me through the DQ drive-in to grab a bite to eat (because sometimes hanger can make emotions worse, you know 😉). But before we dug in, he could tell that it was more severe than that this time, and he did some deep prayer over me- calling things off that were attacking my mind, speaking Truth over lies, caring for soul wounds that had cut deep into me that day- more deeply than made rational sense at all. But emotions aren’t always logical- are they?
By the time he finished up with me, I felt worlds better! And exhausted. I came home, processed a little with God, and took a long and much-needed nap, followed by dinner and a normal bedtime.
By morning, I honestly didn’t feel like I NEEDED the friend visit anymore, but I still wanted to go- just because we hadn’t gotten a chance to have a good, long visit in awhile. So I messaged again to let her know, and to make sure it was okay that I still come- even if it wasn’t so urgent.
Literally I was thinking in my head “Wow, Daylene, you just invited yourself over. Who does that? Didn’t you just tell C that we don’t do that?”
And it’s not that I haven’t dropped in and basically invited myself in to someone’s house before, because I have. But usually to check on them. Not as much for me. Even though I always enjoy the visit.
Or I invite them over to my house.
Because that’s proper etiquette, right?
“We don’t just invite ourselves over to someone else’s house (because we want to).”
Wrong.
Literally, as I was thinking this- and having a self-judging battle in my brain, Jesus spoke up to me in an inner voice and said… “Remember when I invited myself over to Zaccheus’s house? 😉 You used to sing about it all the time.”
(If you grew up in church, or you have a kiddo in Sunday school now, you’re probably singing along in your head right now… 🎶 “Zacheus was a wee little man and a wee little man was he…” 🤪)
Anyway- I had a good laugh as I realized He was right. (Of course He was!) And that maybe this lifelong “rule” that we shouldn’t invite ourselves over to someone’s house actually needs to be pitched… because you know what? Sometimes it’s a blessing for BOTH the self-inviter AND the one who gets a pop-in visit.
Today was great.
Just what I needed!
So was Friday.
One-being the helped.
One- being the helper.
But both actually, were both.
Mutual blessing.
Togetherness.
Real. Raw. Unfiltered friendship.
No need for pretense or putting on a brave face, or even mustering up optimism and hope (though it does tend to arise, naturally, as a result of visits like this!)
Oh, if only all friendships could be like this!
I’m going to go out on a limb (cue the Zacheus pun here 😉) and challenge you this season, if this isn’t already a way of life for you:
Forget that old “polite” rule.
Be spontaneous.
Invite yourself over to a friend’s house.
Bring some coffee and a few paper cups, if it helps break the ice a little. (It always does for me.)
And know that if you prayed about it and God showed you which friend to visit- she probably needs it as much as you do! ❤️
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