The other day my mom took my youngest son and my nephew and I to the fair and the shirt she was wearing wasn’t intentional but pretty much sums up the way she loves on people. (Do small things with great love 💕)
To some, a trip to the fair for treats and time spent together and and extra splurge for the special experience of making a stuffed animal might not seem big, but to us it did. Especially to our little guy! He has clung to his “Moosey” constantly since then!
In this season we have been called to make a scary but exciting faith jump into full time unpaid ministry and though I’m mostly excited about it and most days I don’t feel any fear or reservations about it, sometimes I am guilty of wondering if my kids will go without.
I can especially struggle with this when it comes to the little one because experiences that we gave our others when they were little—like trips to the mall to make their own build-a-bears, or vacations to Disney or the beach, or getting one big Christmas gift and some little ones each year, or new clothes instead of hand-me-downs—those things have really changed for us over the past few years, and he hasn’t really experienced them. And it feels a little “uneven”.
The day before my mom surprised us with this “little” (big to us) treat- I had a mini meltdown because we saw a train 🚂 and C said “Can my go on a train?!” And I said “Ohhhh yes! Not that train but maybe this winter we could take you to the train bubby and sissy rode on when they were little!” And then it hit me that we may not have any income by then and I started crying which I’m super embrassed about but I do feel led to be authentic because I’m probably not the only one struggling with feelings like this- whether it’s because of a faith jump or because this economy is leaving someone stretched.
But my husband was with me at the time and he reminded me that this life is so short in the perspective of eternity and the things that feel big (like memories made on a train or a vaca or whatever) will one day seem little when we are in Heaven. And that little blessings now, with gratitude, can seem really big! And he prayed over me for comfort and right-perspective as things in our life get “different.”
But God also has been reminding me that even though I don’t feel like I will have the ability to treat my kids to things, He is their Father too, and HE can.
He has been showing me through loved ones that they will not be without.
That HE will take care of them.
That He will make all grace abound to us through those that love Him and those that love us!
Sometimes when they know a need that is on our hearts – and sometimes even not a need but just a secret wish. A thing we could absolutely remind ourselves that it’s ok to go without.
Like a build a bear at the fair.
Or a watch or a bike “randomly” gifted to our oldest son- by our pastor, and by our neighbor.
Or a bag of corn, or a melon, or steaks and green beans, or zucchini – gifted to us by my mom, and by a friend.
Or a sponsorship to a camp, and retreats— for our kids, and for us.
Or pledges and donations to help feed us physically as we focus our attention on helping feed others spiritually.
Or the friend of our daughter’s whose parents always treat her to ice cream along with their own girls.
Or our pastor who is letting us borrow his truck this weekend so we can still go camping with our camper in the spot we reserved months ago- before our truck gets fixed.
When you’re relying on grace,
YOU FEEL the GREAT LOVE in every ”little thing” that someone blesses you with!
Grace is pretty amazing.
So thankful for my mom and all our loved ones.
Tears of gratitude are so much better, and they come more easily these days as I see that EVERYTHING in this life is a gift!
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